Steel

James Berardinelli gave this 2/4 stars - more than he gave "Trees Lounge." I find that hard to believe. This is one of the worst films I have ever seen in my entire lifetime, and I've seen quite a few.

It's yet another comic-book-adaptation based on a series that was unpopular to begin with. Shaq does his Attack as Steel, a superhero who runs around very slow in a heavy metal suit.

Whereas Spidey and Batman, et al, all have their special powers, Steel really just has a bulletproof metal suit - the "wire shooter" is a rip-off of the device used by Michael Keaton in "Batman." It attaches itself to a building and up, up and away he goes! However, the device moves at an astonishingly slow pace. Why didn't the cops just shoot him instead of standing there for over thirty seconds (yes, I counted) watching him pulled up into the air by a thin thread?

No matter. This movie is awful. Not even Richard Roundtree can save it.

And what's with the wheelchair lady?

Why, Bender, why?

O'Neal is John Henry Irons, a military weapons specialist who's just been discharged and returns home to enjoy civilian life with his close-knit family until one of his corrupt ex-compatriots (Nelson) uses his military training to deal high-tech weaponry on the streets. In order to thwart him and stop the criminal underworld from acquiring a sophisticated arsenal, Irons becomes an unlikely hero. Believe it or not, this actually had the potential to be successful, but it's done in by dumb dialogue, unconvincing special effects, and an abundance of silly Shaq in-jokes. Might've been a better idea to actually develop the story, rather than spotlighting stupid basketball references. *½

As an enormous Superman fan I picked this video up (for less than 5 dollars) just to add to my collection. I know it had nothing to do with the actual origins of the DC Comics Steel which came from the Death of Superman story but still has some similarities. The story revolves around John Henry Irons, played of course by Shaq, an army Lieutenant who worked on the creation of high tech sonic weapons along with Susan Sparks, played by Annabeth Gish, and Nathaniel Burk played by Judd Nelson. After a miscalculation leaves Susan paralyzed Irons leaves the army into civilian life. Nathaniel becomes the evil nemesis building the weapons and preparing to sell them to world arms dealers but first testing them on bank robberies with street gangs. Irons with the help of Susan referred to as Sparky and Iron's Uncle Joe played by Richard Roundtree build their own crime fighting weapons as well as a head to toe...well except for his face...outfit of steel.

The acting does get rather bad, it feels like a grade school play, and the jokes get far too reality based as so many people have pointed out. The Shaft joke just isn't funny, and the basketball references are unnecessary but that's not what wrecks the movie. What wrecks the movie is the storyline. They could so easily have based this character after the Superman origin. They made reference to the man of steel so many times that it would not have taken much to create Iron's character following the death of Superman. Shaq is not a terrible actor, there are far worse, but his physical stature makes his regular joe schmoe character almost unbelievable.

He towers above everyone and just looks silly. They never establish any sort of romance between Susan and John Irons although they hint to it, it never turns into anything. The story moves along at a good pace, and I thought Judd Nelson played a kick butt bad guy...although he played it almost sarcastically, it fit the movie really. The special effects were cheesy and obviously cheap but I can look past that. The part that bothers me the most is that his "steel" suit being bullet proof is fine but the good 5 or 6 inches on his face that was uncovered miraculously never got touched by bullets or anything else.

Plot holes are almost expected in a film like this so you have to swallow your reality to enjoy it. But sometimes if the movie isn't good enough, it's not worth swallowing anything. I don't regret watching it, it's not the worst movie I've ever seen that's for sure. 5/10

Oh man, I don't believe this. Perhaps with the exception of "Barb Wire", I don't think I have watched anything that comes anywhere near this. When I come to think of it, "Barb Wire" is actually better than this, because I could laugh while watching it. This film is so bad it reaches a certain quality of lousiness only reserved for the very worst of bad ideas. I mean - Shaquille O'Niell in a steel suit with a super weapon made from the contents of a lost-and-found at the scrap yard? Please!

Steel is an awesome movie, a cinematic masterpiece. I have not had as good a time in the theater since I saw Steel. Steel's action is big, but the laughs are even bigger. It is one of the funnier movies I can think of. Shaquille is perfect as the super hero Steel. Every time he is in that ridiculous suit, with his goofy smile, I just have to burst out laughing. The plot is good too, and the action sequences are well choreographed. But the most important part of this movie is the many, many laughs. Richard Roundtree has some great jokes ("I especially like the shaft"). Annabeth Gish is hilarious as Sparky, especially at the end with her wheelchair that rises so she can stand ("You havent seen the best part"). Some guy gets killed because of a discrepency over the meat type in his hot dog. A pin is pulled from a grenade and 27 seconds later it blows up, after Shaq jokes about not being able to make free throws. Why the bad rap on Steel? I have no idea, maybe the angry comic book fans have no sense of humor. This film deserves a lot more credit, and Shaquille O'Neal needs to be back for a Steel 2.