Tainted

I know it is an indie film, I know it is a local film, but starting May 11th 1999 it won't be! The video release is finally happening, thanks are due to Troma for that. This film is wonderful, and definitely worth seeing. Shot on roughly a $35,000 budget, I was astounded when I first saw it. This film earns my highest commendations, and I order you to see it! Bug your local video stores, and when they won't say yes, bug them until they do. Personally, I'm buying my copy! I've had the opportunity to talk with the 'Am I Wrong?' Production team on several occasions, and to make things even better, they are wonderful people to be around. Rating: 9 out 10, losing one point only because of its necessary budget restrictions. The script, acting, and score are all great!

I was looking for a good, cheap, vampire movie that was locally shot (in the Detroit area). Tainted (1998) seemed to be just the ticket to cap our Halloween celebration. While the movie opens with an exciting and well-orchestrated action sequence, the next half-hour of character development plays like the outtakes from Slackers. Don't get me wrong, I actually liked the humorous riffs from Slackers. However, this writer simply misfires every joke. Imagine a room full of 14-year old boys doing improvisational humor. Maybe the director was channeling the ghost of Ed Wood here, certainly the dialog could have been ghost written by Ed himself.

The movie has some excess footage, but you have a fast-forward button, do you not? Other than that, this is an independent triumph of a film, taking everything we know about the vampire legend and twisting it into a truly intelligent and well-written film about, well, as the tagline states it, "ONE HELL OF A NIGHT!" Successful in a local run, this film was picked up by the tremendously trashy Troma team, and this may throw off some die-hard film buffs, but if people really know about this hilarious indie gem, they'll die to see it.

yes, i love indie films. yes, i respect anyone who has the guts and drive to make a film. and yes, i love my hometown of metro detroit. but after seeing 'tainted,' i'm ashamed that this is one of few films representative of my fair hometown. not only are we tortured endlessly with weak and horribly acted dialog (not even bad enough to be funny) and inside jokes, we have to wait the duration of a baseball game to see some actual gore or even a small piece of what might be an actual story. this was obviously made for the filmmakers' friends and selected 'inside' folks who may or may not recognise the 'cool' places around town they 'filmed.' the folks at Troma must have been conned into distributing this nonsensical bore as not a single soul (not friends with the director) would get past the first 15 minutes without crying with embarrassment felt for everyone involved. the 'positive' reviews given for this are undoubtedly from those with vested interests in this idiocy that even 'Mystery Science Theatre 3000' would adamantly reject. no story, no production value, no interest whatsoever and very little gore equals one of the least interesting 'films' ever made. budget $35,000?? it all went toward pizza for the cast and crew for a job miserably done. some words to get used to- 'let's get another take' as for me and all the others about to rent this 'film' graciously given to all video stores who would accept for free publicity- don't let the name 'Troma' mislead you, and please take a stand against drastically careless filmmaking and just ignore the box when you see it in your local store. or, for the new filmmaker, rent it and use it as a 'what not to do' guide or a really good self-esteem boost that this nonsense ever got picked up by the beloved Troma. YOU ARE WARNED!

My dear lord! Can movies possible get any worse than this. I am from Michigan and I can take pride in local folks making good, but I mean how can this be taken with pride? You know what I think? I think that someone here wanted to take a chance to rip-off Sean-Michael's "Friday Night" script. But that's just me. The acting is horrendous. The writing worse. The direction is so bad I wanted to kill myself halfway through it, no scratch that... I wanted to die before the opening scene was even done. My question is this, who would release this thing? Oh yeah, Troma. That makes sense. Well, I hate myself for paying the dollar to rent this. I give it a 1 only because I can't give it a zero.