Clubland

"Clubland" So Glen Ballard, super-producer of Alanis Morissette and Aerosmith, wrote a script about an aspiring singer in L.A. (sigh!) He would be the one to tell the story the most honest and direct way, right? While I haven't seen "Eyes Wide Shut" and "Dudley Do-Right" yet, I can safely say that "Clubland" will nail the top spot on my annual top ten worst of the year. It's an atrocious piece of filmmaking that was just barely released this past weekend. Director Mary Lambert drops every conceivable ball there is to drop here. She shoots the whole film in handheld (due to the lunchmoney budget) and with constant music going on in the background (Gotta sell soundtracks, people!). These two elements combined make for a headache inducing ride down the predictable "It's all about the music, man!" yellow brick road. And to heap on more pain, it's music so pretentious it would make current wuss-rock kings Matchbox 20 and Goo Goo Dolls wince. Add to this mess the most amateurish acting you will ever see in a theatrical release. Lead Jimmy Tuckett joins last year's inductee Alicia Witt ("Urban Legend") to the "I can't believe this performance was committed to film" hall of fame. He, seriously, is without talent. And that is saying something when the whole cast is awful. Lori Petty is in this, need I say more? The music that fills the film wouldn't sell two copies, and we as an audience are supposed to swoon over the songs. Nope. The whole film is filled with clichéd nonsense: slick drug dealers, a gunfight, the girl the lead "really" loves (and we are expected to swallow this tripe right after the hero of the film receives oral from a groupie?), and the brother who keeps messing up - but he's got good intentions. There's more, but who cares? Glenn Ballard was given the chance to make his movie, and it all sucks. "Clubland" is a work of pure drivel, the worst kind of film that comes out of Hollywood. Bad acting, bad directing, bad music, bad product placement, bad cinematography, (I'm sure) bad catering.... If so much work could go into stories more that .005% of humans care about (You never hear in a movie line "Oh, man! Aspiring musicians in Los Angeles! We gots to see dat!"), wouldn't that be a better use of a budget? I think so. -------------- 0

This is a movie that could have been really good, but just didn't make it. If you actually make it through the first half, the rest isn't all that bad.

This movie will hopefully die a quick death at the box office, or better yet, go straight to video. When I saw it at a test screening, myself and the audience couldn't help but laugh. But believe me this was no comedy! The acting is sub-standard, with Lori Petty's being the most sub-standard. However, Terrence Trent D'arby should recieve an honorary worst "non-actor" acknowledgement, as his performance is the most pathetic. The music is god awful, and belongs in the used soundtrack bin. My one question is why does "Hit Maker" Glen Ballard deserve to have a movie made? Can't be because of high quality. . . If it has anything to do with his contribution to Alanis Morissette's "Jagged Little Pill", somebody needs to think again!

I also saw a screening, and here is my opinion: Plan Nine from Outer Space is a bad movie, but at least it will forever be remembered as a cult classic because it was somewhat interesting and amusing. But this drool ranks right up there with Ishtar as a perfectly forgetful piece of terrible movie making. In fact, it's even worse. It has absolutely no redeeming qualities other than being a cure for insomnia, or better yet, perhaps a lesson in how NOT to make films. Ballard (this is the Alanis guy, right?) should stick with what he knows, but it may be too late... Hollywood is too small to escape this one.

If you expected this film to be really "edge", its not - but it is actually better than one might expect from film aimed at 15-21 year olds. Production values are good; story, although not deep and philosophical, is entertaining and well paced.

Rock Group wants to play in L.A. clubs - find that clubs want money, not in it for "the music". Thugs and drugs on fringe of music scene cause problems for band members. "Nice" girls compete with groupies for band members attentions. Most of the music in this film is actually pretty mellow. Some implied sex, not graphic. Lots of foul language, some violence (mostly compressed into two scenes).

Acting is generally good, weaker performances from singers acting in the film (not a big surprise). Jimmy Tuckett (the lead singer in the band) several women assure me, is cute. Heather Stephens as the "good" female co-star is attractive, does a credible job. Lori Petty has a tough job trying to make something of a character who is always either high, drunk, or both - too bad that she didn't have a "cleaned up" phase to show in this movie.

Fortunate news - Song "Bisexual Chick" is actually only in the background, under the sounds of a party, i.e., you don't actually have to hear it.

After seeing big budget, mainline studio movies with massive ad budgets that still produce films like "Mod Squad" and "The Avengers", this low budget independent film has a lot to be said for it. And compared with some of the films that are screened and don't make it into the theaters at all, it ain't bad at all.

Too bad most people who would enjoy this on the big screen won't "discover" it until after it is playing on HBO and available on video tape.