Lunar Cop - Poliziotto dello spazio

Well, well, well - I have been reading IMDb reviews more than once to check whether some movies were worth watching - both in theatre or in DVD. I especially checked low-cost DVDs, which confirmed that most of cheap DVDs definitely are not worth the pain to watch 'em (even if it is low-cost it still takes some time watching). Well I bought Lunar Cop the other day, well aware that it was likely to be a waste of time watching. To my surprise it was not that bad; not a masterpiece, but entertaining for people who likes movies like Mad Max 2. OK it is not as good as Mad Max 2 but for a low budget film it does the job. The photography is quite nice, and I liked the design work on the clothes. The movie was released in 1994, but right from the beginning it has a seventies flavour from the actors loathings and hair-cut. As for the plot, well it won't give you a headache - an other user mentioned some holes. Well I'd say those are inherent to this kind of low-budget action-oriented movies - and the flaws of this movie also apply to Mad Max 2 (yes I like this movie)

I just love to look at him! I don't really care about the movie itself.

About this movie: I was surprised by the elements that seemed "influenced" by other movies. Where did the pool of acid come from? (I know, from "The Terminator".) The thing is, a true Michael Paré fan gets used to some of the hokey things in his movies, just for the privilege of looking at him. I hope he will have a chance at some 'A' movie roles, because he's very talented, but the scripts he's had to work with have been pretty corny. We fans want to see him play a hero. He would make a great firefighter/ paramedic on the TV show "ER". They need a new "hunk" on that show. They have been sorely lacking in that area since Clooney left.

Lousy special effects,even for a B movie,that aside Michael Pare,and a very screen chomping bad guy carry this movie. I thought I would turn it off,but it was always just good enough to keep me watching,and the actors are good enough to make you care,thats good for a B movie.

So let me get this straight, 27 years ago the Ozone layer just disappeared and the Earth became some sort of desert? And there were some people who were lucky enough to escape to the fertile lands of the moon? Sounds great!

This is a movie that tries really hard to be better than it is. One of Michael's relatives (Terrence Paré, probably his brother) wrote the script, and he tried to get clever and throw in a twist or two. Unfortunately, he also threw in a plot hole or fifty.

So there are terrorists on the moon who want to destroy the earth? How exactly are they smuggling the serum from the moon to the Earth? Why are motorcycle gangs harassing the other survivors on Earth? If this has been going on for 27 years, then why haven't the motorcycle gangs completely taken over what's left of Earth? How is everybody still surviving and finding food and water if the Ozone is gone? I'm getting a headache.

I know what you're thinking: "Hey Johnny, isn't any movie co-starring Billy Drago a sure winner?" Good question, and I'd have thought the same thing, but even the acting sensation that is BILLY DRAGO couldn't save this flop. This movie is just a mess. Unless you like to watch Billy Drago overacting and leading his motorcycle gang into about 30 minutes worth of slow-motion footage of motorcycles floating in the air.

I did get a pretty good laugh when an evil cyborg was sent to Earth to finish the job that Michael Paré abandoned. The best was when the cyborg somehow buried himself and his motorcycle under the ground, and then flew out and started chasing Paré. That doesn't make sense to you? Welp, imagine watching similar scenarios for an hour and a half.

To make matters worse, the movie tried to reach some sort of emotional level by having Paré's character fall in love. I have to admit, I cried when Paré found out that his love interest (some "actress" you've never heard of) was a cyborg and had to be terminated. However, I didn't exactly cry because of the emotional pull of that scene, no, I cried because at that moment it occurred to me that an hour and a half of my life had just vanished before my very eyes and there was NOTHING I could do to get it back. It's really amazing how an hour and a half Michael Paré movie ALWAYS seems like it's at least 3 hours long. Didn't matter to Stephanie, she slept through the whole thing. Must've been nice.

THE GIST:

It would've taken a SOLAR FORCE to keep my food down while sitting through this tripe. Ba dum dum psh! Thank you, thank you. This is a bad movie, and it fails to even reach "so bad it's good" territory. Sure, there are some things in the movie that are so ridiculous that you can't help but laugh at them, but overall I promise you there are much better ways to spend your money and your time. You have been warned; I now wash my hands of the movie.

Wow! Billy Drago is a stunner in this epic space adventure film. Not only is Drago good, but the rest of the cast is superb as well. The sets are also very compelling in this movie and look twice as good as those other phony action flick ones. Billy Drago proves that he is an acting god in this movie donning Indian garb and delivering such lines as "When I come back here I'm gonna pluck your sweet ass." with a seasoned punch. I'd give this movie a 10 out of 10, better than any of those big budget films.