The Dallas Connection

The usual action flesh fantasy for male viewers, this Sidaris flick is not as good as a few others, but the girls looks great (there is my favorite Playmate, Wendy Hamilton, that doesn't show as much as I hope, but it's still a threat; there is also Julie Strain's Black Widow, with an opening scene Basic Instinct style that it's really good) and the action is good enough to let the 90 minutes of the movie pass without any boring moment. The plot is contrived, but it's part of the show: for a Sidaris movie it's a good enough one

The Dallas Connection is one of the later films from Andy Sidaris. Well, strictly speaking, this one was actually directed by his son Drew and produced by Andy. But you would be doing better than me if you noticed any difference because no matter who directed this one, it's exactly the same as all the others that go under the Sidaris name. Like the rest, this one is an action flick that relies very heavily on beautiful large breasted women who lose their clothes on a regular basis. Without the ladies, most of Sidaris films would be hopeless and this one is no exception.

Its story really isn't worth describing, except to say that it revolves around a trio of professional female killers called Black Widow, Cobra and Scorpion. These femme fatales are played by Julie Strain, Julie K. Smith and Wendy Hamilton. Fortunately, all of them disrobe frequently to frolic about in, amongst other places the shower and a strip club. Julie Strain seduces a restrained man in dominatrix PVC gear in a standout moment but best of all is the truly mesmerizingly sexy Julie K. Smith frolicking around in a hot tub with some lucky 'victim'. Its soft-core erotica basically but with a very high calibre of eye candy. Aside from this the plot-line plods along in an uninspired way, although there are some agreeably stupid moments like death by exploding golf ball and the ludicrous blow-up doll scene. My advice would be to watch it for the ladies and tolerate the rest.

This film begins with an attractive woman who goes by the nickname of "Black Widow" (Julie Strain) seducing a French scientist and then killing him in his apartment bedroom. The scene then shifts to South Africa where another scientist is killed by a pretty blonde assassin known only as "Cobra" (Julie K. Smith). Not long afterward, yet another scientist is killed in Hong Kong by a female assassin who goes by the name of "Scorpion" (Wendy Hamilton). As might be expected, since these three scientists were all working together on an international project of great importance, federal agents are quickly dispatched to Dallas in order to protect the only scientist left from the original group. The problem is that the agency hired to protect him has been compromised, and the team of assassins know exactly where to find the remaining scientist and all of the information he has available to him. Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that this film had an interesting plot and featured a number of attractive actresses like Samantha Phillips (as "Samantha Maxx") along with both Julie Strain and Julie K. Smith to enhance the scenery. Unfortunately, it wasn't quite enough as the script was rather basic and the acting could have used some improvement as well. In short, this was a typical Andy Sidaris production and I have rated it accordingly. Slightly below average.

If you've seen one Sidaris flick (even those directed by his son), I think you've seen 'em all. Bullets, babes, explosions. That was the formula and 'The Dallas Connection' is no different. The story is silly - not really worth a mention - and the budgetary restraints keep the action scenes on the short side.

The real value in a Sidaris flick are the women on display. Supplied here by Playboy Playmate Wendy Hamilton & Penthouse Pets Julie Strain, Samantha Phillips and Julie K. Smith (one woman who seriously makes me drool). Her cowgirl grind in the club and the hot tub scene easily take top honors.

Take away the little bit of action and this is a glorified T&A flick. You know this, I know this. It doesn't waste any time getting to the good stuff. Julie Strain has a sex scene intertwined with the opening credits. Unless you're in pursuit of seeing some pretty ladies get naked in a format only the Sidaris name could supply don't say I didn't warn you otherwise.

This flic will be remembered as a classic for the some of the funniest dead-pan dialogue and gratuitous shots of T&A to fill one of the most absurd plots since "Gymkata". From the asteroid showers, to the extended shower scenes, to the blow-up doll decoy, to the awkward reactions to the horse race which obviously isn't taking place, this movie never stops entertaining.

It stays perfectly on the line between over-the-top farce while appearing to try to be a "real" film, in true Ed Wood fashion. It's amusing to read the comments of disappointed viewers who attempted to derive substance from this B-movie. This is one to watch late night on cable, preferably with some good friends and a keg.