Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfolds

"Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfold" takes an already cheesy original, "Attack of the 50 foot Woman" and makes it cheesier! But it does so in such an engagingly cornball manner that you can't help but smile even as you groan at the inane plot and low rent special effects.

The cast are all from the "golly, gosh" school of acting. They know full well they won't be up for Oscars so they lay it on shamelessly. There's an affectionate parody of Hugh Hefner. In a cute touch Michelle Bauer, who has stripped in dozens of b-flicks, plays a fully clothed science researcher.

Lead actress JJ North and her fellow ingenues are amply endowed but the nudity, toplessness actually, isn't raunchy. They're too busy hamming it up to heat it up. There's not all that much nudity in the film, so don't expect a flesh parade.

Not worth buying, but a good weekly rental.

Roger Corman produced, Fred Olen Ray directed, and it stars a trio of centerfolds. One look at the cover and you should know what you're in for. Its stupid, silly, hokey, sexy, and a pretty fun time for fans of late vintage, middlebrow T&A farce. The girls are hot, (two of them immaculate), frequently topless, and the whole affair is very straightforward, Joe Bob Briggs-style, drive-in camp. There is a bit of the forced campy acting that I don't like, but the majority of the time, the cast are taking their roles seriously, (to the best of their abilities, anyway), which adds a level of charm that is often lacking in these kind of movies. The effects are silly, but decent enough to escape unintentional laughability. I wouldn't go so far as calling this movie a gem, but it is above-average for its genre, as far as overall watchability goes. If you used to enjoy "Joe Bob's Drive-in Theater," this movie is a decent throwback. The whole premise is actually strangely hot, don't you think? I mean, she's a whole lot of centerfold up there! 2.5 stars.

Attack of the 60 Foot Centerfolds (1995)

** (out of 4)

Decent take-off on ATTACK OF THE 50FT WOMAN from cult director Fred Olen Ray. This time out centerfold Angel Grace (J.J. North) decides to take a special potion hoping that it will give her the edge over two other woman as they are trying to win Playmate of the Year. The potion certainly gives her a boost as it turns her into the title character. With a title like this and knowing that it's coming from Fred Olen Ray, one really shouldn't be expecting any sort of classic but if you're just wanting some cheap laughs and plenty of breasts then this here is just for you. I was really surprised to see that the movie's actually a lot better than one might expect. I thought there were some fun performances, the director keeps things moving fairly well and even the special effects are good. Again, we're not talking "classic" level here but for a "B" movie this isn't too bad. I thought North was extremely cute in the lead role and of course her willingness to get nude was a major plus. The supporting cast includes Russ Tamblyn, Tommy Kirk, Michelle Bauer as well as a cameo from Forrest J. Ackerman and SORORITY HOUSE MASSACRE II favorite Peter Spellos. There's obviously not much of a "story" to talk about but instead of story there's just pretty much non-stop nudity with the three centerfolds constantly getting naked, which is the main reason for this movie to exist. It's worth noting that with a film like this you're wanting "giant" nudity and it is here. I was surprised at how well done the special effects were. They're not Oscar-worthy but they're certainly much better than what we see in ATTACK FOK THE 50FT WOMAN. At just 84-minutes the film goes by at a pretty good pace so fans of this type of stuff should at least be mildly entertained.

This movie was one of the first that I ever bought on DVD; for some reason I've held on to it, mostly due to its historical value as one of the most disappointing films I have ever watched. The title led me to believe that I would be watching beautiful, naked big-titted women growing to impossible sizes and ruining everyone's s*** for 90 solid minutes. Instead, I get 2 minutes of rampage, and 88 minutes of 60 a 60 foot tall woman moping around in a circus tent, and a bunch of evil guys trying to exploit her. Who do these guys think they are? I want chicks, not smarmy guys. In addition, there's this annoying sub-plot involving a giant rat. Who's idea was that? They could have at least made it a giant cat in order to incorporate some pussy jokes. There are a couple of good boob gags in this one, but on the whole, it is a massively wasted opportunity to exploit women who have been the victims of science. Where's Daryl Hannah when you need her?

I and my friends have watched this several times. Its amusing with a couple vodka tonics and good friends. Additionally, it has JJ North and Tammy Parks. I would watch either one of the read the phone book. Sadly, JJ is out of the biz now, which really is sad since she had potential that went beyond just her natural good looks. However, the days of b-movie actresses rising above a steady diet of bad films are over. Rene Zellweger may have been the last. Who would have guess that one of the stars of Chicago started out in Return of the Texas Chainsaw Massacre.

In anycase, its fun and the women are gorgeous. Come back JJ.

Where are you Kristine Debell?