Concorso infernale

Shannon Tweed as a heroine? Andrew Dice Clay and Roddy Piper as bad guys? All three in a DIE HARD rip-off taking place at a beauty pagent? Hey, this isn't going to be a masterpiece, but it sounds like it would be great fun as a trashy movie!

I said "sounds like". But I was sorely disappointed. Tweed doesn't get naked. The action scenes aren't that great. Clay and Piper aren't that campy, and don't seem to be that enthusiastic.

Not the worst DIE HARD rip-off out there. But _nowhere_ the great movie it could have been. I know the premise sounds great, especially with those actors, but trust me, it's disappointing.

******SPOILERS****** Andew Dice Clay, Brice, is far more funnier trying to be an over the top evil villain in "No Contest" then in any of the stand up comedy acts that he does on stage and on cable TV in this laughable action drama. The film is about Brice and his cohorts taking over a beauty contest, the Galaxy, and holding the six finalists as well as the host and former Galaxy contest winner Sharon Bell, Shannon Tweed, hostage. In order to let them go Brice wants a ransom of ten million dollars in diamonds.

Brice rewards the Galaxy contest winner Miss France, Julie Armstrong, with a bullet in the head just as the shocked crowd was expecting him to crown her. Brice and his gang then effectively wiped out the security guards as well as the TV crew who were broadcasting the event on live TV.

A sub-plot soon develops about this whole crazy venture when it's revealed that one of the finalists Miss USA Candy Wilson, Polly Shannon, is the daughter of US Senator Donald Wilson, John Colicos. we are told that Wilson was involved with Brice in a Columbian drug ring and that he had Brice double-crossed and thought that he was killed by the drug dealers. Somehow Brice managed to survived and is now back for revenge. There is also another sub-plot involving one of the finalists Miss Germany, Chandra West, also being in on the hostage taking as well as being Brice's girlfriend.

The gang that Brice has in this adventure is one of the biggest bunch of mixed nuts ever put together in crime movie history with the overly macho Victor, Nicholas Campball, and obnoxious former professional wrestler Roddy Piper, Ice. Ice was so unintentionally funny that he spoiled the little tension that was still left in the movie when he tried to be bad and evil. Instead Ice came across like a cross between the Honeymooners Jacky Gleason and Saturday Night Lives Chevy Chase slipping and falling all over the place.

Even though Robert Davi,Sgt. Crane, is the top star in the movie he was completely overshadowed by the very physical and free-swinging and kicking Shannon Tweed who did all the work dispatching the gang of kidnappers. Davi just limped, he was a disabled Secret Service Agent in the film, along for the ride.

The movie moved toward it's inevitable climax as Sharon almost single handedly kung-fu'ed the Brice gang out of the movie leaving just him left to have it out with her on an hotel elevator for the films dramatic ending. It was next to a miracle that Sharon was able to stand up by then after the pounding that she took, as well as gave, during the movie up to that point.

Shannon Tweed was very exciting and nice to watch in the action scenes as well as in the sexy clothes that she wore. She in fact never took her clothes off during in the movie. Andrew Dice Clay showed what a "Ham Actor" he really is if he was just given the chance like the movie "No Contest" gave him. Robert Davi was the invisible man by going through the entire movie almost unnoticed and the girls held hostage were anything but sympathetic with their unconvincing acting. showing almost no fear at all of their captors, no matter how hard they tried.

The character who I think was the real villain and most believable person in the film was Senator Wilson, John Colicos. Senator Wilson showed what we see in the news every day that if your in power and keep getting re-elected you can get away with anything even murder.

No Contest (1994) was a strange brew of a movie. This film starred the likes of Shannon Tweed, Andrew "Dice" Clay, Roddy Piper and Robert Davi. This film was a total cheese fest from the beginning until the end. A DIE-HARD rip-off that totally succeeds on it's own. Andrew "Dice" Clay stars as a desperate man who's henchmen (including his right-hand man Roddy Piper) storm a high ride building and holds it's occupants hostage. Shannon Tweed co-stars as a woman who launches her own rescue team from the inside. Her outside contact is a crippled Robert Davi.

Mnay questions are raised in this film. Why does the "Dice Man" go to such a great length to hold these people hostage? Will the local authorities save the day? Can Ms. Tweed kick butt and takes names? How does Robert Davi figure into the flow of the movie? Does Roddy Piper get to show off his nut-case side again? To find out the answers to these questions you'll have to watch NO CONTEST.

Not bad for a direct-to-video-film. I found this movie to be highly entertaining and dismissed for no apparent reason. People please remember it's supposed to be bad and these actors don't take themselves seriously at all.

Highly recommended.

This might be the poster child for 90's direct-to-video action flicks or at least a frontrunner. A 'Die Hard' clone with a high-rise beauty pageant starring Shannon Tweed, Andrew Dice Clay, Robert Davi and Roddy Piper. Never will you see a cast list like this ever again. Plus Toronto Canada passing as America, armed bracelet bombs, Shannon Tweed doing martial arts and shockingly no boobs at all.

There's not a lot of substance to talk about, but this flick wasn't nearly as painful as I was expecting it to be. It feels like it had a respectful budget and there were some bursts of action. Canadian actor Nicholas Campbell plays another good slimeball and head of the police response is an actor from Death Wish 4 who gets killed with an ice pick.

If you strip away the familiar faces this film would lose a lot of its charm. Dice gets to chew the scenery and makes for a decent villain. Tweed who made her name in the erotic thriller genre gets to flex the action muscle. Robert Davi is mostly inactive, but gets a character moment or two while Piper is in early form here as a b movie tuff.

The story is silly, stupid but you know that. A hostage taking scenario for profit with some lazy latched on politics and revenge angle. If you wanna take a trip down memory lane or enjoy low level 90's action with some known names, 'No Contest' makes for a half hearted fun view.

Andrew Dice Clay and Shannon Tweed star in this film that is a action film, but like dice's Ford Fairlane, is a funny film past all of it's action. Tweed and Dice make a good pair as the heroine and villain. Not exactly the best acting, and no nudity from Tweed made me feel bad, but what can you do. Because with dice (in a action film so bad it is a hilarious comedy) you can't loose. A-