Concorso infernale

"No Contest" is a silly rip-off of "Die Hard".

The plot: Sharon Bell (Tweed) is hosting a beauty pageant when Oz (Clay) and his band of criminals take over the proceedings. Now it's up to Sharon to save the day! This movie is worth-watching for the unintentional comedy. The climax is hilarious! Dice and Tweed battle it out on a rooftop using martial arts. The sight of Clay doing roundhouse kicks and other similar moves is very amusing. Tweed also can't do karate and there's always a long shot instead of a closeup.

The acting by all is horrible, but it's not a big deal because you can't take this seriously.

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Many would consider this to be a ripoff of Die Hard, but other than locations and antagonist plotting, "No Contest" has a completely different mood. Firstly the primary protagonist is largely unwillingly and frightened, and Shannon Tweed is not terrible in giving a sense of realism to it. Secondly the villains are hilariously captivating, particularly Roddy Piper and Nicholas Campbell as henchmen with over the top cheesy dialogue.

The cinematography is also surprisingly good with competent angling and rendering. Overall it's actually fairly entertaining although it does run out of energy and ideas by the end.

No Contest (1994) was a strange brew of a movie. This film starred the likes of Shannon Tweed, Andrew "Dice" Clay, Roddy Piper and Robert Davi. This film was a total cheese fest from the beginning until the end. A DIE-HARD rip-off that totally succeeds on it's own. Andrew "Dice" Clay stars as a desperate man who's henchmen (including his right-hand man Roddy Piper) storm a high ride building and holds it's occupants hostage. Shannon Tweed co-stars as a woman who launches her own rescue team from the inside. Her outside contact is a crippled Robert Davi.

Mnay questions are raised in this film. Why does the "Dice Man" go to such a great length to hold these people hostage? Will the local authorities save the day? Can Ms. Tweed kick butt and takes names? How does Robert Davi figure into the flow of the movie? Does Roddy Piper get to show off his nut-case side again? To find out the answers to these questions you'll have to watch NO CONTEST.

Not bad for a direct-to-video-film. I found this movie to be highly entertaining and dismissed for no apparent reason. People please remember it's supposed to be bad and these actors don't take themselves seriously at all.

Highly recommended.

Disclaimer for avid Shannon Tweed fans: there's no nudity whatsoever in this movie. That could be surprising to some, but as I always say: guess there's a first time for everything. This isn't really the kind of sleazy soft-core flick Tweed is usually known for either, it's more of a sleazy dumb action flick. I'll never go as far as calling this screenplay unsubtle, but at one point Tweed's character is described as "Bruce Lee with boobs". Just saying. The whole thing is entertaining enough though, mainly because of the bizarre choice of co-stars. Rowdy Roddy Piper and Andrew Dice Clay, who the hell did the casting on this one? Whoever it was, he or she rules the Earth. The action scenes look pretty good too by the way, Bruce Lee with boobs kicks some serious ass at some point. This movie actually looks like it was meant to be as generic and cheap as possible, but luckily there's too much coolness in it to make that happen.

Shannon Tweed as a heroine? Andrew Dice Clay and Roddy Piper as bad guys? All three in a DIE HARD rip-off taking place at a beauty pagent? Hey, this isn't going to be a masterpiece, but it sounds like it would be great fun as a trashy movie!

I said "sounds like". But I was sorely disappointed. Tweed doesn't get naked. The action scenes aren't that great. Clay and Piper aren't that campy, and don't seem to be that enthusiastic.

Not the worst DIE HARD rip-off out there. But _nowhere_ the great movie it could have been. I know the premise sounds great, especially with those actors, but trust me, it's disappointing.