Kickboxer 4 - L'aggressore

After watching Kickboxer 4, late last night (2am-4am) on FX, my only response is, wow. I thought the movie was fun to watch! The acting was pretty bad, the story was stupid and cliché, the fight scenes were poorly done and I was expecting the main character to all of a sudden say his catch phrase "DUDE!" from Step by Step.

What was with almost every character looking like a famous person? I'm really happy to see Frank Zappa was able to act in a film before his untimely death.

Also, why did every bad-ass character in that movie end up to be a wimp at the end. Frank Zappa snapped a guys neck, then smashed his head into the ground for fun (in an OR scrub) and beat the crap out of all those people in the beginning (in a bright red polo shirt). But here comes big bad Cody, doesn't even elbow him in the face, "I've had enough!". Same thing with the so called "savage international terrorist". He kicked total butt in the beginning and then at the end he scurrys off like one of those flying monkeys in the Wizard of OZ.

I did enjoy the movie though, wouldn't nominate it for a Grammy though. But my liking was mostly due to the fact that I felt like a member of the "Mystery Science 3000" cast, making fun of almost every scene.

And what the hell was with that "hiss" Sloan did at the end? Damnit, i need a cigarette.

All movies series has to have a really bad entry and this is by far the worst of the Kickboxer series. First of all, how did David Sloan end up working for the DEA and when did Tong Po become a drug lord? This is absolutely ridiculous. Even worse, Michel Qissi is not back as Tong Po. Oh, granted, Kamel Krifa is a terrific martial artist (saw him on an episode of Baywatch) but he just didn't fight the role of Tong Po as well as Qissi. The only thing that's good in this film is the fight choreography, where the fighters use different arts (David and Tong Po are Muay Thai, Thomas is Jeet Kune Do, Megan is Tang Soo Do, another guy Capoeira). That's pretty much it. Other than that, really lame story!!!!

In the annals of the truly great thespians there are names that ring eternal, Dudikoff, Fahey,...and Mitchell. Sasha Mitchell strives and works his butt off for what Keanu Reeves makes look easy. Complete and utter lack of talent. Looking to all the world like a muscular, less talented Boner from Growing Pains, (you remember Boner from Growing Pains don't you? Sure, Boner?), Sasha lurches through his scenes with the single minded determination to show nothing that may be confused with actual acting. He reads his lines like it's the first time he's seen them, emotionless, cold...like Mother Russia. Are you sure you don't remember Vinnie Stabone? Anyway.

You may be asking yourself, "Bob, why start with Kickboxer 4? Why not go back to Kickboxer 2, and watch the hero's journey that Sasha takes. Maybe you're being a little hard on him." Well, first, going back would mean I would have to tender some kind of coin to view the earlier Kickboxer movies, and there are other things I could spend my money on...like a singing Billy Bass. Also, KickBoxer 2 and 4 were directed by my personal nemesis. Pyun...director of the worst movie of all, or any time...Radioactive (shudder) Dreams.

Hey, Fun fact, Tong Po is played by different actors. It's one guy in two, and another guy in 4...and neither one of them were Asian. so you've got those ugly ass fake eye makeup...why not get Bolo Leung to play Tong Po? At least he's Asian. You know, Bolo Leung, big muscular Asian actor from Double Impact? Hey, speaking of Double Impact and Van Damme....the fact that Van Damme wasn't in any of the kickboxer sequels should be warning enough for you. If Van Damme looked at the script and said, "Uh...no, Even I won't stoop thees low." well, it can't get any plainer than that friends and neighbors.

If you must make a sequel to Kickboxer, why not explore the character of his (Boner's) trainer, Xian played with subtle mastery by Dennis Chan. Why not a tender portrayal of Chan returning to Thailand to confront his father's alcoholism and troubled childhood and the girl he left behind AND his dreams of being a flutist in the Thai Symphony Orchestra. That would be bitterSWEET. There wouldn't have to be any kicking in it. NONE. I'm tired of the kicking. I want to see Kickboxer 5: Xian's Homecoming. Peace.

Unlike a lot of people, I thoroughly enjoyed "Kickboxers 2 and 3" and think that K3 was better than all of them. However, they should have stopped at 3 and never tried to do another.

The cast was abominable, with the exception of Brad Thornton as Lando Smith.

Kamel Krifa as Tong Po was terrible and his accent even worse. The makeup job they did on him to make him look somewhat Po'ish was terrible at best. Did the make up artists not bother to look at him under the camera lighting or even face to face to see how their makeup job looked?

The fighting was the only good part about this movie with the exception of the annoying as nails down a chalkboard, Michelle "Mouse" Krasnoo.

I have read that she has won 200 grand first prizes for her martial art and I find that hard to believe unless her competitors were either terrible beyond comprehension, or she had no competition. As a martial artist myself, doing Wah Lum Kung Fu (for those of you not familiar with it, it is the true Kung Fu that they did in China before it was outlawed)and having seen terrible, watered down martial arts from the pathetic "art" they call some forms of Kung Fu that is allowed to be taught in the United States now, (Wah Lum is difficult and taxing at best when done correctly, hence it is not that popular because it actually requires hard work)to musical forms of Karate, I found her forms sloppy, slow and terribly executed. I have seen better from kids in the under 13 divisions at tournaments I have participated in. There is no way she could have beaten any one of those martial artists on even their worst day, as easily as she did, with what she did and the fact that they tried to make it so, was laughable at best.

Other than Michelle's terrible performance, not only in acting but in her martial forms as well, the rest of the fight scenes were well executed and enjoyable to watch.

I was very disappointed that Sasha Mitchell was not able to showcase more of his fighting. He is an accomplished and highly skilled martial artist and the fact that he was not allowed to show more of what he is capable of, alongside some of the great fighters that were in this movie, was regrettable.

However, I still think Sasha Mitchell is far too talented an actor and martial artist to have wasted his time on such a poorly made movie as "Kickboxer 4."

After seeing the abomination that was Kickboxer 3, I was glad to see the Kickboxer series get back on track. Once again, Albert Pyun (Kickboxer 2) took over the director's reins and gave us an entertaining sequel to Rick King's horrible addition to the series.

When we catch up with David Sloan in Kickboxer 4, we find him in prison, having been framed for murder by none other than his old nemesis, Tong Po, who has since become one of the most powerful druglords in Mexico. Clearly out of spite for his old rival, Po has kidnapped David's wife, Vicky, and is keeping her locked up in his compound.

When the DEA approaches David with the proposition of infiltrating Po's desert lair, Sloan jumps at the chance. Under the alias 'Jack Jones', David fights his way into Po's exclusive million dollar tournament, bent on paying back his old rival in full.

Sasha Mitchell is much more subdued in this film in coordination with his character, having been hardened from his two years in prison. Although quite a departure from the happy-go-lucky character he's used to portraying, Mitchell handles it very well, coming across as a much more intimidating presence than in the previous two films.

I personally love Albert Pyun's style. His films may be campy, but they're almost always fun. Just relax and enjoy this one.