Almost Heroes

In 1804, President Thomas Jefferson commissioned Lewis and Clark to explore the newly acquired Louisiana Territory and find a route to the Pacific. Other explorers followed Lewis and Clark but didn't become famous--if you believe this movie.

Among these less well-known explorers was Leslie Edwards, who seemed too much of a spoiled rich kid to spend time in the untamed wilderness--which is why he tried at first to take all the comforts of home with him, including a slave. He needed an expert tracker, but for some reason he had to settle for a man who was in the process of being hanged for drunk and disorderly conduct that included forcing a military officer to waltz. Supposedly, President Jefferson had commuted that sentence, but the signature could have been forged.

The rest of the crew was nothing to brag about. In fact, a number of them, after hearing they would have to travel upstream, wanted to take the easy way out and go to New Orleans instead. One old geezer simply wanted to see the Pacific but got out of doing any work because he was ... well, old. Guy Fontenot claimed to know all the languages of the Indian tribes the group would encounter. But the first time he was called on to translate, he explained that the language was one he didn't know. He brought along the Indian maiden Shaquinna and was insanely jealous whenever anyone would even look at her.

Along the way to the Pacific, our heroes encountered a number of strange Indians and even stranger villains such as Hidalgo. They also visited a full-fledged community established by whites--highly unlikely, but then, this wasn't supposed to be historically accurate.

This was a very funny movie, but whether it was quality depends on one's interpretation. For me, this was quite entertaining. Some examples: Bidwell loses an ear, and Pratt picks it up and speaks into it--for the rest of the movie--believing Bidwell will be able to hear him. And Hunt climbed a tree to get an eagle's egg--three times. I won't say why it had to be three times, or why he really regretted the second and third trips. But it was the highlight of the whole movie. There was also a scene where an Indian kept slapping the white men because they did not respect his customs. Or was that the real reason? And the entire movie was filled with physical comedy such as falling off cliffs.

One criticism--if Matthew Perry was supposed to have a British accent, or at least the accent of New England aristocracy, he seemed to forget in the more strenuous scenes.

The objective was to get to the Pacific before Lewis and Clark. Did they? Of course I can't say. I can say that from a distance in several scenes, we could see what appeared to be two men and an Indian woman, and a dog. Whether they made it or not, the effort was certainly one to be enjoyed.

Chris Farley had his last leading role here, in a feature released five months after his death. A great epitaph it is not, but it does showcase him in the kind of role he was obviously born to play. Bartholomew Hunt is a rowdy tracker hired by effete adventurer Leslie Edwards (Matthew Perry) in 1804 America. Edwards hopes to make a name for himself beating Lewis & Clark to the Pacific Ocean. Hunt & Edwards set out for the coast, in the company of various other kooks and half-wits. They must deal with Indian tribes, a bear, an eagle protecting its nest, and an arrogant Conquistador named Hidalgo (Kevin Dunn).

Both Farley and Perry are well-cast in what amounts to a fairly enjoyable comedy. Like a lot of comedies, it has its share of gags that work and those that don't. One might consider this an off-day for veteran writer / performer / director Christopher Guest, who'd started his string of "mockumentaries" with "Waiting for Guffman" the previous year. But it's all put across by an enthusiastic bunch of actors, with supporting players like Dunn, a hilarious Eugene Levy as a French "language expert" named Fontenot, Hamilton Camp, and Patrick Cranshaw tending to steal the show. A tantalizing Lisa Barbuscia is the love interest for Perry, playing Fontenots' Indian wife. Bokeem Woodbine, as Edwards' slave, is unfortunately under-utilized.

Various familiar faces - Don Lake, Lewis Arquette, Christian Clemenson, and Brent Hinkley - turn up, and Guests' longtime colleague Harry Shearer does the opening narration. Michael McKean is credited as "project consultant".

A decent attempt at creating the period, lovely photography, and use of various wilderness locales all help in making this pleasant enough to watch, if also rather easy to forget. At the least, it may make a viewer interested enough to read up on Lewis & Clark, as it pokes fun at details of their own historic journey.

Six out of 10.

After I got done watching Almost Heroes I immediately rewound the tape saw it again. It is one of the funniest movies ever created. If Chris Farley isn't a good enough reason to watch it, Matthew Perry should be. Both men do an incredible job acting dumb and yet civalized. If you ever get in a bad mood, I guarantee this will cheer you up as you roll on the floor with laughter.

If I saw this movie with almost anyone else cast in Chris Farley's part I probably, well, would have never seen it in the first place, but if I did I would have given it a lousy review. OK, the movie itself was completely predictable and dumb (not like it was supposed to be intellectual). I think Matthew Perry had't made it to rehab yet because during certain scenes he looks too thin and pale. During others (did they toss both of the leads in rehab halfway through shooting, then continue when they were out?) he looks pretty good. In fact, if you have the hots for Perry, you should definitely see it because he was looking pretty good to me by the end of the movie, and I never thought he was all that hot before. I have a feeling the part of "Edwards" was originally meant for David Spade, but he pulled out.

We saw it opening weekend, Saturday night, and the theater had already split up the movie (and even cut the poster in half! Jerks) with another in the same part of the theater because no-one was showing up. The audience was us and maybe a dozen other Farley fans who sat silently when he wasn't onscreen, then you'd hear us all laugh at the top of our lungs scattered from various parts of the mostly empty auditorium (the laughs were scattered, not our lungs, sorry for the bad grammar) when he did or said something funny. This is not his best movie (he was obviously and sadly on his last legs, but doing his best to give his fans their money's worth)but not his worst. If you're a Farley fan, don't be scared away by the bad reviews, rent it or buy it! The scene where he has to go find an eagle's egg in the wilderness to cure his sick friend is priceless, and so is his comment when he finally brings it back and finds out which part of the egg they needed. Every single review in the media I read said something along the lines of "this is a sad legacy to be Farley's last movie, with this weak performance, blah blah" but I think he could have done a lot worse.

RIP big guy, your fans miss you.

This is the kind of movie you need to watch more than once to appreciate. I'd never go so far as to say this is a "good" movie, on the contrary, its a very bad movie, and thats what makes it funny. No one seems to be able to appreciate the humor in the poor writing and acting that make this movie hilarious. Watch Farley's battle with the eagle a few times and you'll see the humor. Watch the gauntlet with creamed corn and tell me thats not funny because of its sheer ridiculousness. I say people need to lighten up and respect this movie for what it is, a harmless farce that allows for some cheap laughs at physical humor and absurd dialog.