Bikini Hotel

"Samantha Vance" (J. J. North) and her half-brother "Remote" (Tim Lovestedt) work at a diner in Palmdale, California with no real opportunities for upward mobility available to them. But that all changes one day when Samantha gets notified that she has just inherited a hotel from her long-lost father. Although the property in question is extremely rundown, Samantha decides to keep it even though the wealthy family who owns the hotel across the street are determined to buy it in order to enhance their own profit margins. And while Remote and their mutual friend "Sty" (Kareem Elseify) are at first skeptical of her decision not to sell the hotel, they decide to stay and help her renovate it all the same. Unfortunately, even after they fix it up nobody comes. This results in Remote and Sty throwing one last party before they evacuate the premises and that's when they come upon a brilliant idea that attracts male customers in droves. Now rather than reveal any more I will just say that there really wasn't anything in this film that caused it to stand out from other movies of this type-and even then what similarities it shared were, for the most part, inferior. The humor was almost non-existent, the plot and script were extremely basic and the acting could have used significant improvement. In short, other than a semi-clothed J. J. North and Julie Strain (as "Raquel") there probably isn't anything worthwhile about this movie at all. Because of that I have rated this film accordingly. Below average.

Wow, I've seen some poor B movies before, but yikes. There is almost nothing redeeming about this film. Almost. There are lots of scantily clad women prancing around. Don't rent it. Tape it off Cinemax and watch on fast forward.

As far as B-Movies go, anything with Julie Strain in it deserves a look. Making or breaking whether or not you will stay with this movie are the two characters at the beginning. The camaraderie they share is reminiscent of college dorm life in the 90s, so whether you like that or not goes a long way. (But the haircut of the "Remote" character really bothers me).

After watching this movie, I feel affirmations of what a "good" B-movie is: not needing much brain activity, with little anecdotes of culture and creativity along the way. Seeing the Asian men find ways to get the "bikini maids" to clean their rooms and bend over in provocative ways will impress many men, but clearly demoralizes women. But that is clearly par for B-movies, what the director is going for. Stupid actors in the form of Tim Lovestedt give this movie the rating it gets (the other guy is pretty good actually). His dimwitted nature is only outdone by him poking his head into things to appear even more dimwitted.

Quite amateurish in a way but good clean T&A fun of the Bikini Car Wash Company variety but far more vivid. Girls of the Playboy/Penthouse variety. It has Stella Stevens in it (not bared) of all people.

The guy who made it seem to have fun doing so and their good humor shows itself.

It has a fun "Behind the Scenes item in the menu which is quite unusual for a film in this class, and it's very good too. Their "production facility" is worth the price of the film.

There's not much to say about this movie....really, there isn't. J.J. North plays a young woman who inherits an old, broken down hotel from her father. She's at a loss for ideas on how to keep the place out of the hands of the greedy developers across the way and make some money. Sound familiar? Yep, it's STSWB all over again. Out come the bikini-clad babes to work the desk and clean the rooms, and you've got an instant growing base of clients. Julie Strain has a supporting role here; every time I watch this movie I wonder what she was thinking when she signed on for it. She went from action-adventure Andy Sidaris movies to this?? Wow, what a step down!

Oh, one more thing.....don't miss the opening credits. The female cop is played by none other than famous exotic dancer Fantasia. She only appears at the very beginning and again at the very end, so don't miss her....but then again, how can you miss her? She gets one scene to shine, so she makes the most of it...she gives some lucky stiff a lap dance, bouncing and wiggling her F-cup breasts all around, then finally putting his head between them!

Other than that, it's a poor movie. See the opening credits, then go back to whatever you were doing beforehand.