Anaconda

Anaconda is often looked at as cinematic trash. And it is but it's also wonderfully entertaining. Jennifer Lopez, Ice Cube, Eric Stoltz, Kari Wuhrer, Owen Wilson and Jon Voight star. Jennifer Lopez is really fierce as the lead and Jon Voight is so bonkers and over the top it's just comically absurd and wonderful. The effects leave something to be desired. The digital doesn't hold up but the practical is still pretty cool. The movie is creepy and funny and it's opening kill features a somewhat young I think Danny Trejo. Sometimes you just need to trash it up.

Before there was "Snakes on a Plane," there was "Anaconda," a Hollywood B-movie from the late 90's that is as notorious for its mixed bag of actors as it is for the gruesome snakes that populate its plot. In the film, a group of documentary film-makers traveling through the Amazon jungle picks up a mysterious man who inadvertently becomes their tour-guide on an unexpected detour. It seems the man is totally crazy and intends to capture one of the Amazon's most notorious and deadliest inhabitants: The Anaconda.

Despite some bad looking CGI-snakes (not bad in a good way) and a horribly mis-matched cast (J-Lo and Eric Stolz? Really?) "Anaconda" is simply a good, dumb time. Without a doubt, it's an utterly ridiculous film that can be insulting to your intelligence, but thankfully it knows not to overstay its welcome and the 90 minutes it takes up makes for a harmless and amusing ride. Ice Cube plays Ice Cube as he always does, while J-Lo turns in one of her more likable roles. You'll also catch Owen Wilson in one of his earliest roles, and John Voight is a pleasure to watch as he eats up the scenery. But face it, this movie is about snakes, and the titular character is the true star here. Surely, the actors on hand have done much worse, and as far as horror/b-movies about snakes, you could pick up much worse yourself. If you enjoy watching giant snakes (who inexplicably scream) stalk rappers, pop-stars and Angelina Jolie's dad, this is the flick for you. Those seeking genuine thrills, however, may find the film coming up a bit short.

It's a stupid B-Movie with enough quality to fly by, and enough camp charm to get away with such cinematic crimes. The cast play it straight, apart from Voight. I'm pretty sure he was drunk during the shooting, coming out with an inexplicable accent and a look reminiscent of Hannibal Lecter. It's ridiculous fun, with hokey CGI and animatronics. The animatronics are great and make me miss the 90s. It's a big snake shaped tube and goes from slow robotic motions, to super fast CGI. Cube and Hyde manage some, at times, adorable dialogue. Voight's presence also unites the rest of the cast, and each character gets their own heroic captain moment. Fun filled and just plain bad. I loved it.

A guilty pleasure that's still fun & amusing, Anaconda was one of those famous B-movies that used to air a lot on TV when I was a kid and whenever I caught a glimpse of it while switching channels, I'd usually end up staying till the end. Creature feature was my go-to genre while growing up and this, along with Jurassic Park & Godzilla, were amongst my favorites.

Looking back today, it is difficult to ignore the multitudes of issues that plague this flick but back then, things like direction, screenplay, acting, plot structure, character arcs or themes etc didn't mean a thing to me. The only stuff that mattered was whether I'll be entertained or not. It was the only factor that decided the fate of any movie in my book. And in many ways, it still does.

Set in the Amazon jungles, the story of Anaconda follows a documentary film crew that comes across a stranded snake hunter and allow him to get on board. The atmosphere changes soon as the crew finds itself uncomfortable around the new guy who, after a series of tragedies, takes command of the boat & the crew and makes them help him in his quest to capture the world's largest & deadliest snake.

Directed by Luis Llosa, the first act is dull and it is only after the titular serpent surfaces that things get interesting. The script serves the bare serviceable minimum for a horror flick, dialogues are corny, characters are bland but its skillful camera-work & clever angles, in addition to its isolated setting, help in retaining an aura of suspense and is effective in bits n pieces.

The visual effects appear dated but it's still impressive in a few places. Everything about the anaconda is exaggerated to ridiculous proportions yet it adds to the fun & its campy tone. The film features a number of people who later went on to make a name for themselves in the Hollywood industry but it's Jon Voight who steals the show with his crazy, sinister & over-the-top rendition of the snake hunter.

On an overall scale, Anaconda exhibits all the ingredients that are responsible for bringing a film down yet it manages to stay afloat for the majority of its runtime. There are a few hiccups along the way but the ride is enjoyable for the most part and in the end, it is more satisfying & entertaining than other similar examples. An adventure that's not devoid of thrills & a horror that packs some good chills, Anaconda is well-deserving of its cult status. Worth a shot.

This underrated monster movie came out around the same time as THE RELIC and both films got poor reviews. I happened to see this at the cinema back in '97 and I remember being distinctly underwhelmed by the film. After catching it on television again last night, my opinion has radically changed. While it may be a cheesy film with bad acting and poor special effects, the makers of this film obviously have an affection for B movies and, as one reviewer on the IMDb noted, there is definitely an old-fashioned feel to it, it's a bit like a '50s giant monster movie updated to the present day. On retrospect, I enjoyed this far more than the disappointing and hugely generic film that was THE RELIC, and after watching many of the recent so-called "horror" films on release, I've come to appreciate this for what it is : a fun, shallow and fast-paced little film that delivers the goods on the gore front.

While it's not a particularly bloody film, many of the deaths by snake are gooey and gruesome in the extreme. We watch the victims as they get slowly crushed and their bones break out, and then watch as their blubbery bodies are digested by the snake. In the film's big moment, Jon Voight is eaten, only to be regurgitated as a half-eaten mess moments later. Just when you thought it couldn't get any better, his corpse winks! The plot is a typically contrived and generic one, but as I mentioned it's fast paced so you don't have time to dwell on the holes. The acting is pretty bad, but again that's typical for a film of this variety - what's not typical is that most of the actors here are famous, or have become famous since.

Jennifer Lopez takes the lead and frankly I can't see what all the fuss is about, to me she's unattractive and a bad actress to boot. Joining her are Eric Stoltz in a nothing role, and he spends most of the film in a coma after eating a deadly wasp (strangely, though, he doesn't die!). Ice Cube is the likable, gruff and unlikely hero, a feat he pulled off again in '99s THREE KINGS. Jonathan Hyde plays an Englishman in a role that borders on the offensively stereotypical - if we British aren't depicted as bad guys, then must we all have stupid accents and be figures of ridicule with our silly "stiff upper lip" type characters? Bad acting awards go to Jon Voight for his supremely hammy portrayal of the film's villain, a lip-curling, eye-winking performance which I found to be hilarious - he's great, having a laugh, and miles away from the boringly serious characters he played in films like Deliverance. A pre-stardom Owen Wilson is pretty bland, and Kari Wuhrer is all glamour and no intelligence. Eagle-eyed viewers may spot FROM DUSK TILL DAWN's vampire bartender Danny Trejo as a snake victim whose suicide kicks the film off.

Now, for the special effects, which are a mixture of CGI and animatronics. The animatronics are great, and very lifelike. The CGI is not so, but at least it looks pretty as we watch the snake swirl through the air and stuff. I've seen a lot worse in more recent films, and at least you can see the effort that's gone into this creation to try and make it look as spectacular as possible. Speaking of spectacular, there is the requisite explosive finale which manages to be quite exciting as things go. ANACONDA is, to me, a welcome monster movie from a time when most horror films were slashers squarely aimed at a teenage audience. Thankfully, this film has no teenagers and no masked killers. That, the fun monster and the change of location (an authentic-looking Amazon jungle) make this one to watch again and again for me.