Legami violenti

This movie should not be viewed from the perspective of entertainment. It is truly a treasure tool that many may never unearth if they are only wanting to be entertained. If you look at for its acting merits or production qualities only you will miss the message that it has for trouble people. It is a true story based on the life of Paul Hegstrom. Its very difficult to think that someone could really live a life such as his. But, the truth is that there are millions of people in our world struggling with their abusive behavior not even recognizing it as such. They have not known where or how to get help. Paul Hegstrom's life did not end with this movie. After remarrying his wife Judy, they went on to build a ministry called Life Skills International based in Denver, CO. They have helped huge numbers of couples restore their marriages. His work has saved many womens lives from the abuse of their partners and he has defined abuse in terms that brings healing to troubled marriages. I know because I have just experienced a week at Life Skills, have just viewed this movie and it has been life changing!

John Ritter was well known for playing nice guys so in Unforgivable he takes a turn to the dark side playing a hard drinking, wife beater in this true life television film.

Ritter plays Paul Hegstrom a whiny car salesman who abuses his wife has a girlfriend (Beth) on the side and when he walks out on his wife and kids he soon turns on Beth as well hospitalizing her in a bout of rage.

Beth forces Paul to join a counselling group for abusive men or else she will press criminal charges. He reluctantly joins a radical therapy group with other spousal abusive men like him and eventually realises the extent of his abuse and the effect that it had on his wife and kids, especially his daughter who wants nothing to do with him.

Ritter relishes playing a more darker character but the TV movie does pull its punches a little because of its medium. Paul is shown to be rather one dimensional, a charmless loser, he is argumentative with his boss and even testy with his friends. Usually these types of guys are charming at work and with their friends to highlight their Jekyll/Hyde nature.

Kevin Dunn plays the counsellor who gives his usual good performance but the rest of the therapy group did not convince me, looking like a bunch of stereotypes causing friction with each other, eventually having some sort of comradeship when they each realise the errors of their ways.

Of course Paul has to make amends with his family but although his wife might be prepared to forgive him, his daughter is not. Like a lot of American movie of the week true stories I am not sure how faithful it is to the real life scenario, an intriguing film but not wholly successful.

This movie shows from a true story Domestic Violence,Spouse Abuse and Battering and is truly "Unforgivable" in any family in America. A.R Simoun did a fantastic job writing this movie and letting it make it to the screen, without watering down the story like so many movies do. Many movies show the damage of physical violence, but few go into the Emotional Abuse, Threats, Economic Abuse, Intimidation, Isolation. The only negative of the movie is that it didn't go far enough at the end to show how the real Paul and Judy Hegstrom not only re-married and have been Violence-Free, and developed a program that gives Hope and Help to hurting families all over the world. A few years ago the Surgeon General classed domestic abuse as the leading cause of injuries to women ages 15-44, more common that auto accidents, muggings, rapes, and cancer deaths combined. Life Skills International was developed by Paul and Judy to help women and men who need help. This movie should be seen by every couple in our country, whether they are dating, living together, or married. Too many of our children are growing up in violent homes and we wonder why our society is so violent. But instead of dealing with the real issues, our society continues to blame Hollywood movies, video games and guns for the problems with violence. Please push TV stations all over our country to play this 1996 movie again and tell others to watch it. No segment of society is exempt from domestic violence. It knows no boundaries; neither religious, ethnic, or social. A****

This is more for Theo Robertson - but it can be for anyone with a similar viewpoint. Therapy CAN change an abusive person IF they decide they want to change. I am proof! I went into group therapy because I thought I had "a problem with my anger". I saw a lot of parallels between myself and Paul Hegstrom. I wasn't nearly as abusive, but I had the same type of characteristics, right up to the point of telling the counselor that I had "an anger problem", pretty much like Paul Hegstrom did. Just like he, himself, I learned that I had been taught that behavior, that's where it started. Knowing exactly what the problem was gave me a starting point to change it! Just like he did. The movie's excellent and I was blown away by John Ritter's portrayal. At first I didn't even believe it WAS him because I've never seen him play anything other than a humorous character. The movie's excellent!

Ritter, usually Hollywood's Mr. Niceguy, plays a holy terror in this tale of raging spousal abuse. Very effective film showing how a family can be torn apart for years by a lunatic who was created by the actions of his own father. Realistically played out, this picture could serve as the 'poster' movie for a problem which is apparently more pervasive than I had supposed. A definite must see.