The Lord Protector

LORD PROTECTOR is kiddie fare, but for whose kids? Obviously shot for television or STV, this amateurish rehash KRULL has several stock characters -- a magician, an assassin, a warrior, a scientist -- on the trail of something or other in order to defeat the Dark Forces about to be unleashed on their planet. Badly written, acted and staged in available California locations like municipal parks and a ranch, LORD PROTECTOR has nothing to recommend it, not even as a time waster. Jay Underwood is the only "name" actor, and most people, especially the intended audience of five year olds, are not likely to remember him from such ancient Disney fare as NOT QUITE HUMAN. A no-name actor playing a magician in an ill-fitting silver wig at least plays it with tongue planted firmly in cheek, while those around him act as if they are in a dinner theater production of KING LEAR. I was hoping at least for a decent action or special effects sequence. Alas, the action sequences are pathetically staged and the few special effects are those old fashioned painted-over cartoon gags we used to see in 1950s and 1960s fantasy flicks, like Bert Gordon's THE MAGIC SWORD. The filmmakers planned a sequel that mercifully never came to be. Often, such cheap Hollywood back-lot productions use a combination of legit and porn actors. I kept myself occupied during the film's seemingly interminable running time, trying to figure which was which in this one. I didn't have much luck.

With Olivia Hussey as the voice of the spirits and Charlton Heston doing the narration The Dark Mist is a hit or miss satire of a fantasy film. The trouble is that the players take it a bit too seriously at times and miss the points where they're supposed to mug for the cameras.

One of Jack Cassidy and Shirley Jones's sons Patrick is in the lead and title role. He's giving out Cassandra like warnings about the current king Ronald Hale tapping into the dark forces for his power. When his warnings aren't heeded, Patrick goes off and gathers a group of followers as per an ancient prophecy to stop Hale.

The Dark Mist has a few good moments, but someone with a grounding in comedy was needed to get the maximum results. That was what they didn't have at the helm.

Kids should like it though.

The story is a fantasy tale about the possible destruction of this world and a fight between good and evil. I noticed some reviewers glow about this film and give it scores of 8, 9 or even 10. I have a seriously hard time understanding it, as the film was one of the most amateurish looking movies I've seen...especially when it comes to the acting. The actors look much more like some friends who got together to make a film, not a serious production.

The only reason I watched the film is because it was one of Charlton Heston's final movies. However, it turns out that he only narrates and if you are watching for Olivia Hussey, she only is used as a voice actor as well. The rest...well, I just hope that they worked hard and have improved their skills since making this movie.

Narrated by Chuck Heston, you can tell he did only one take on some of the entries due to the inflection. Musetta Vander has one short scene, love ya Mu, wish there were more of you in this! Cassidy tries hard, and keep up the effort, but I have to say that Jonathan Fuller's performance makes the film watchable. If you're into D&D and renaissance festivals, you might find this fun. One of my best friends lost his shirt investing in this, but he has since gotten back on his feet. Yes, the producers had done a number of successful films in the past, and everyone is allowed a turkey or two. I just wish it hadn't been this one. I wish I could give it more than 5 stars, but 3 of them are because of John as Malthon/Nohtlam. The bit with the hand that has a mind of its own is a blast. I noticed they fixed some of the soundtrack issues when they re-named the film, and more of a back story would have helped. Still, with a few disjointed scenes and all it is a fun escapism film.

The budget on this film was nearly nonexistent, so with this in mind, I think they did a terrific job with what they had. Patrick, who I think is the most attractive in a very attractive family is a great person and I think that comes across very well. All of the other players are appealing as well and proved to be good sports. None of these actors are or were porn stars as was suggested in another review. Artists are just that, dreamers always striving to express themselves in a way that can touch other lives and I can only cheer on these artists in their quest to lift the audience out of drab reality into fun fantasy. It is nice also to see a film that doesn't pander to the least common denominator.