Killers

Much of the commentary on this board revolves around debating the validity of some comparison to R DOGS made on the DVD cover. Forget about all of that... This film-- er-- home movie is utterly horrendous. How can anyone with a shred of credibility claim this as being 10/10??? There is no plot, none. I couldn't believe that I spent money to rent this (more on that later) and that I had fooled myself into believing that this (based on box cover art and some sort of film fest award blurb) had potential. The only thing I do really remember was that, unbelievably, one of the annoying main characters was supposedly offed with a bullet to the head... and he ends up surviving the wound and making it to the final credits alive. Wow. And looky dere, Killers has a sequel. Double wow.

True story -- I actually was in so much denial that I had wasted my money and life force on this rental that I kept the videotape for what must've been six months. I kept telling myself that it never actually happened. The video on top of the TV was an illusion - a mental symbol of my self-loathing. After someone pointed out that is was indeed real and that I needed to get a grip, I decided that I couldn't just leave it there. I thought, "How many others have I denied the suffering of sitting through the viewing of this masterpiece by hoarding Killers all to myself?" I had to do the right thing and return it back to the hell from which it came.

So, as I imagine most of the populous of IMDb would do in a similar situation, I mustered up some major courage and drove to the video store... at 2AM. After making sure that no one was around, I got out of my car (still running of course), slipped the movie into the drop box slot, and booked the hell out of there never to return.

I guess I expected that some goons from Hollywood Video corporate would come looking for me (the bill must've racked up to something like $1,238.67 by that time) so I moved away from the area. However, coincidently, much like the Killers storyline, nothing ever happened.

A friend of mine gave this piece of shet, which he got for free at the recycle center, and after reading the description of the cover "In the tradition of Reservoir Dogs" (whatever the hell that was supposed to mean) we decided to watch it... man, was that a big mistake!

The plot is basically as follow: Some long-haired biker-types and their bimbo girlfriends go to an abandoned warehouse to meet with their pal, fittingly called "Speed" (which also seems like his drug of choice), and they split some drugs and money there - they're all criminals, no doubt. But suddenly a bunch of suit-clad gangsters appear, also wanting the drugs and the money, so the gang decides to flee... or rather, they stay in the building and hide, until the gangsters are closing in on them...and THEN (try to) flee! And they also decide to split up a couple of times (which makes it easier for the bad guys to catch/kill them one at the time). Aaand... that's basically the plot right there.

I've seen some pretty damn worthless movies, but most of them have either been free online stuff and/or amateur school-productions. But this movie is truly scraping the bottom of the barrel. Stupid plot, terrible acting, horrible lighting (if any at all), inept direction and super-dull filming. Throw some shet-poor editing and generic background muzak on top of that, and you've got this film.

It reminded me of other terrible films, like Albert Pyun's "Urban Menace" or Karim Hussain's "Ascension", but it's actually much, much worse, because those movies had some redeeming features, like unintentional comedy (the former) or artistic vision (the latter). This movie has NO REDEEMING FEATURES WHATSOEVER. Unless you like watching a bunch of scruffy-looking dudes running around filthy buildings for 90 minutes, of course.

The one thing that puzzles me the most about this movie, is that they actually went and made a SEQUEL to it! WTF, that's gotta be the least called-for sequel of all-time! It's going straight back to the recycle center, I can tell you that much... or maybe even the city dump would be a better ending for it, as I don't want to put anyone else through the torture of sitting through this truly passion-less turkey.

1/10.

The first movies from The Asylum and an example of a company that debuts with a terrible movie and carry on making countless others that are even worse. Killers I really do have to agree was a disaster on all levels. Well...maybe not quite all, Kim Little was not too bad, actually she gives a very impassioned performance, though she was much better in the sequel(which while not great was a significant improvement over this). And you can't help shake off that feeling that she was too good-seeming for someone so low. But her performance isn't enough, and that is mainly because the rest of the acting is so bad, more a case though of people trying too hard rather than non-tryers, especially from Paul Logan who makes his clichéd role even more so with a permanent scowl on his face, I wasn't sure whether it was because he was trying too hard to be villainous or whether it was because he didn't want to be there in the first place. A lot of things don't help the actors though, their characters are stereotypical, blandly developed and even annoying(Erica Ortega's character does come out as over-the-top), and the dialogue is vomit-inducingly inane. The story did have an underwritten and over-simplistic scenario to begin with, but does nothing to do something with it. It was too dull, predictable and completely lacking in suspense, and further spoilt by direction lacking in tautness and some of the most irritating camera work(enough with the rapid camera shots already) and lighting schemes of any movie I've encountered. All in all, apart from Kim Little Killers is a disaster. 1/10 Bethany Cox

An embarrassing piece of cinematic incompetence. I've heard more compelling dialogue in laundry detergent commercials and seen better acting in Mentos ads. At no time during this reel of tripe was there even the most vague hint of suspense, character development or unpredictable sequence of events. This was a completely sophomoric attempt at film making and the result was a film with absolutely no redeeming qualities.

Ishtar beware! ! ! !

.......awful, base, beastly, blameworthy, corrupt... I could go on to use every single obscure adjective in the dictionary to describe how bad this movie really is, but i can`t be bothered! I usually only comment on movies i like, but i couldn`t resist having a pop at this pathetic effort. Where can i start, the direction was awful, the acting was ........ahh what is the point.

DO NOT RENT THIS MOVIE, YOU WILL FEEL BAD IF YOU WASTE 2 HOURS OF YOUR LIFE ON IT.

At least now i know not to rent a movie just because it has a cool reference and intriguing back cover ! -3 out of 10.