Amityville Dollhouse

Eddie Murphy gave the best indictment of the Amityville series' believability when, imitating the new owner of the house, he said, "Oh baby, this place is beautiful. There are trees here and dogs and its a beautiful neighborhood and..."

"Demon: Get out!"

"Too bad we can't stay baby."

Again, in this movie, all of the family's problems would be solved if they did one simple thing. Leave!!! Just leave the house. That's always been my policy when my dead relatives come through the closet and giant mice run under my bed. It's time to go! Why does it take these people so long to figure that out?

Even if they don't want to leave the house, why don't they just destroy the doll house? One sledge hammer blow and all their problems are over.

This is a movie that is so bad that you will call friends to tell them it's on just so they can be in on the badness. The real horror is that they keep making dreck like this, keep employing no-talent actors and writers, and waste valuable plastic that could go into useful items like dildos and replacement parts for George W. Bush's head.

My interest was starting to fade with the Amityville franchise, especially after "Curse'… but I wanted to see all the films and "Dollhouse" is probably the best sequel since "The Evil Escapes". Somewhat minor in that regards, but still better. Again it's another cheaply produced TV movie, but this time the cursed object happens to be a replica dollhouse of the Amityville house. Odd choice, but it did create certain creepiness. It affects the household in the usual manner, especially possessing the family and turning them against each other while feeding on the fear and anger it creates. Nothing really surprises here, as again it's a mixture of the previous films with its own slant. However it moves by fast enough, entertains with its twisted shocks, an eerie score effortlessly fits in and the characters for most part are fairly agreeable. Some of the make-up FX (that of our demonic guests) and special effects are well done, especially when the dollhouse becomes the gateway to hell. It gets crazy, but fairly entertaining. The cast give dependable turns with the likes of Robin Thomas, Rachel Duncan and Starr Andreeff. Neat, cosy horror that amuses despite its lack of new tricks.

The Amityville Horror: in the real world, it's about a young man brutally murdering his family one night on a drug-fuelled rampage. In the world of film and fantasy, it's about demons in the cellar, possession, evil lamps, sinister clocks and unnecessary 3D. The film franchise has had a long life and some of the installments have been - and let's be kind here - god-awful. 'Dollhouse' was the very final installment before someone turned back the clock with the 2005 reboot, and having watched every single Amityville thus far made, I can honestly say it's not the worst. No, for that, we have to go back to 1992 for the pain and misery that is 'The Amityville Possession'.

Many of the sequels would spin a yarn from an artifact removed from the Long Island house that would then raise hell in a new setting. In 'Dollhouse', the house itself is an artifact in miniature. When the Martins, a dysfunctional Brady-style family (two single parents and their kids coming together as one unit) move into their new home, conflicts are down-to-earth and domestic until Martin Snr finds an old dollhouse in the shed that just happens to be the spitting image of the infamous residence in Long Island. As soon as the replica is brought into the house, things begin to go pear-shaped. Household appliances take on a life of their own, people start having bad dreams, and Jimmy, the youngest son, begins to see the rotting animated corpse of his dead birth father. Will everyone realise the cause of the disturbances in time, or will they all succumb to the evil designs of the dollhouse?

Amityville VIII, unlike its predecessors, makes no attempt to tie its plot in with the source material. No references are made to the DeFeo murders, demonic possession, or even the house itself. The only connection is the obvious visual link with the Dutch-colonial dollhouse, whose origins are never explored. It's as if the producers are saying 'Look, it's straight-to-video, you know the story, no-one will be watching who doesn't.' However, putting aside the very obvious question regarding where the dollhouse came from and what connection - if any - it has to the actual Amityville house, the story follows the familiar structure of its predecessors: characters possessed by demonic forces, unexplainable local phenomena and even killer insects. Also present is that same sense of deja vu, wherein you once again know you're watching a generic horror film with the word 'Amityville' stamped on it. To expect a lot at this stage however, after even the recycled ideas have been recycled, would be asking too much. This latest retreading still manages to be entertaining and not without its moments, and the actors present give convincing enough performances with the material handed to them. Compared with other entries in the series,the horror elements here are lower in tone, and the death scenes few and far between. There are a few dodgy monster moments, which while tied into the plot, aren't realised with the kind of budget that would do them justice, and the prosthetics only just about work. Overall however, the story follows its own internal logic well enough not to cause irritation and so long as you don't try to integrate it into the Amityville universe, it's an entertaining enough 90 minutes.

I have to say that watching every Amityville in the series has been torturously painful at times, sometimes making me wonder why I'm a sucker for B-grade horror. However, there have been some notable entries as well, with 1992's 'It's About Time' probably the most imaginative. 'Dollhouse' is a less ambitious rehashing of the formula, but it stands above the real clankers, enough to not leave a bitter aftertaste.

Bill Martin (Robin Thomas) and his new wife Claire (Starr Andreeff) move into the new house he built in the California mountains. In a shed outback he finds a cute little dollhouse designed just like the famous Amityville, NY abode. How this got here or who built it is never explained. This is no Barbie Dream House though as this dollhouse crushes Bill's gift bike for his daughter's birthday and the parents resort to the "this should make a great gift" routine. The eighth and final Amityville flick before they did the remake. After part 3, the producers felt they could circumvent the whole Amityville house thing by having various possessed items from the house be the gateway to terror. So we had a lamp (AMITYVILLE: THE EVIL ESCAPES), a confessional (THE AMITYVILLE CURSE), a clock (AMITYVILLE: IT'S ABOUT TIME) and a mirror (AMITYVILLE: A NEW GENERATION). So I guess a dollhouse isn't that ridiculous. This is actually a two-for-one deal as we get a possessed recycled fireplace too (there is general confusion as the house was built on foundation of an old house that blew up to suggest it was the Amityville house, but this is clearly set in California). I'm just glad they stopped with this one or we would have ended up with the likes of possessed toaster in AMITYVILLE: YOU'RE TOAST. Or an evil stove in AMITYVILLE: YOUR BLOOD BOILS. One thing this sequel does that is surprising is bring back the taboo sex angle from part 2, along they play it a bit safer with the stepmom lusting for the stepson. Other than that, it is pretty routine stuff with the occasional cool effect here and there (like the progressively rotting dad who haunts his young son a la John Landis' werewolf classic).

"Amityville Dollhouse" is your average low budget B-horror movie, but it isn't too bad in my opinion. It follows a suburban family who moves into a new house the father built, so it seems that there's no way the house could be haunted. But the Amityville evil finds it's way in there, after they discover a dollhouse replicating the Amityville house. They decide to give the dollhouse to their youngest daughter for her birthday, and that's where it all begins. The dollhouse begins to exert an evil force upon the family.

I tend to have a soft spot for low budget, cheesy type horror films of this type. Even though they may not be top notch quality, I find most of them entertaining, and they still manage to be alright in my book. Most of the cast here are unknowns, I only recognized one actress: Lisa Robin Kelly, who plays Eric's sister, Laurie Forman, on That '70s Show (my favorite television show by the way). The whole dollhouse idea is kind of dumb, I don't know what a dollhouse really has to do with "Amityville", but in the context of the movie it seems to work. There aren't really any scary moments, and when it tries to be scary, it comes off more as campy, but I don't really take this film so seriously.

Granted it is a campy, low-budget horror flick, but "Amityville Dollhouse" still finds a way to entertain you, despite the cheap effects and minimal scares that it provides. Some may think I'm crazy, but I was entertained by this flick. It's nothing special and I wouldn't go too far out of your way to see it, but it's an okay corny horror movie. Like I said, nothing special, but not too bad. 5/10.