- Mark Weiner: All of junior high school sucks. High school's better; it's closer to college. They'll call you names, but not as much to your face.
- Brandon: Why do you hang out with that faggot?
- Dawn Weiner: Just because Ralphie's a faggot doesn't mean he's an asshole.
- Steve Rodgers: Special people?
- Dawn Weiner: Yeah.
- Steve Rodgers: Do you know what "special people" means?
- Dawn Weiner: What?
- Steve Rodgers: Special people equals retarded. Your club is for retards.
- Mary Ellen Moriarty: [Applause] Thank you. I am here to talk to you today... about the dangers of talking to strangers. For I, Mary Ellen Moriarty, once talked to strangers. And that is how I became the innocent victim of a brutal kidnapping. Almost 1 year ago on that day... a day I will never forget... I was a carefree teenager memorizing my lines for Hello, Dolly, I was supposed to play Dolly. I was walking home from rehearsals, I'd missed my carpool. I was standing on the corner, waiting for the light to change... when all of a sudden... a dark car pulled up beside me. And a big man stepped out. And he was older... and good-looking... and, um... he had a tattoo on his chest. And then the next thing I know he, um... So, students, what im trying to say is...
- [Teacher screams]
- Dawn Weiner: [looking at beefcake photos of Steve] Who took them?
- Steve: Valerie Mondello. She's the photo editor of the yearbook.
- Dawn Weiner: Was she your girlfriend?
- Steve: For a few days. It was worth it, though, don't you think?
- [Dawn offers Steve something to eat while he waits for Mark to come home]
- Dawn Weiner: Ring Dings, Pop Tarts, whatever! I can make Jell-O.
- Dawn Weiner: I don't want to go to Disney World.
- Mark Weiner: Don't be stupid. If nothing else, it'll look good on your college résumé.
- Dawn Weiner: Do you think about girls?
- Mark Weiner: Are you kidding? I want to get into a good school.
- Ralphie: Dawn? Do you think I'll get into the Hummingbirds next year?
- Dawn Weiner: Boys always get in.
- Ralphie: Do you think they'll go on a trip to Disney World next year also?
- Dawn Weiner: I don't know! Maybe. Depends.
- Ralphie: On what?
- Brandon: Hey, dog-face!
- Dawn Weiner: Drop dead!
- Ralphie: Let's go.
- Brandon: What's the matter, faggot? In a hurry to run home to Mommy?
- Dawn Weiner: Shut up!
- Brandon: Make me, lesbo!
- Dawn Weiner: You think you're so cool!
- Ralphie: You think you're hot shit but you're really just cold diarrhea.
- Brandon: Hoo-HOO! Listen to this faggot!
- Dawn Weiner: Shut up, you asshole!
- Ralphie: Yeah, shut up!
- Brandon: Man, if I were you, faggot, I'd be shittin' in my pants, 'cause when you go to junior high, man, I'm gonna smash that little fairy face of yours into a mushy pulp!
- Dawn Weiner: Yeah, well, at least he won't stay back a year!
- [Brandon knocks her soda out of her hand and laughs]
- Dawn Weiner: Retard!
- Dawn Weiner: [opening lines]
- [walks up to Lolita]
- Dawn Weiner: Can I sit here?
- Lolita: If you feel like it.
- [looks at Dawn eating her lunch]
- Lolita: Someone barfed there fourth period.
- Cookie: [walks up with cheerleaders] Hi, Dawn, sorry to bother you, but we were just wondering... Are you a lesbian?
- [camera cuts to Dawn]
- Cookie: Well, are you?
- Dawn Weiner: No.
- Lolita: Liar. She made a pass at me.
- Cookie: [with group] Lesbo, Lesbo, Lesbo.
- [after seeing Dawn about to enter a school bathroom stall, then going over to the sink]
- Lolita: You didn't come in here to wash your hands.
- Dawn Weiner: Y - yes, I did.
- Lolita: You came in here to take a shit.
- Dawn Weiner: No, really. I don't have to go. My hands were just dirty, that's all.
- Lolita: Liar. I can smell you from here.
- Ralphie: [after Brandon leaves Dawn's backyard] Don't worry, Dawn. Brandon's just a retard.
- Dawn Weiner: FAGGOT!
- Missy Wiener: [to Dawn] Were you playing with my dolls?
- Dawn Weiner: [defiantly] No!
- [Missy stares at Dawn, unconvinced]
- [Looking at pictures of Steve]
- Dawn Weiner: Oh, Steve, they're all so beautiful.
- Steve: I'm thinking of using this one on my first album cover.
- Dawn Weiner: You're gonna have a record?