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i read the reviews of loved and hated this film, and as you can guess i am on of the ones that have loved it. I can understand that people find the story implausible, because of the age difference and the social and cultural differences of the love story. i suppose having been in a few love across the divide love stories myself i identify and understand the motivations of the two characters and what the director is trying to say. Both James Spader and Susan Sarrandon are lost in the film, James had lost his lover and all meaning in his life, and Susan has lost her son, and her self respect and is being self destructive to herself. She has a truth which she teaches him on their first meeting, where she accurately reads him, and shows him how to let go and have a good time and have contact. The original sex scene which some people hate in the reviews is my all time favourite. If the sexes were reversed it would verge on rape, but because it is female on male it doesn't feel that way. the way she holds him down catches him unawares and drags him into this sexual and emotional awakening is what makes it so electrifying for me. James spader's night after rejection of her rings true, and for most people it would end there....but he goes on and they really learn off each other...maybe as i have found in real life it would end, but i think that love is about two people coming together having contact being together loving and learning from each other.

So may people that i see staying together in so called sensible compatible marriages don't have what you see these two having together for however long.......

Max Baron (James Spader) is a successful ad executive in St. Louis. His wife Janey (Maria Pitillo) was killed in a car accident two years ago. He buys 50 burgers from White Palace (White Castle refused to give permission) for his friend Neil (Jason Alexander)'s bachelor party and discovers six empty boxes. He berates Nora Baker (Susan Sarandon) and gets his refund. Later at a bar, Max finds common suffering with Nora who lost her son to leukemia. They start an affair based on their shared losses despite their differences.

These are two good performances from great actors of interesting damaged people. The bulk of the interest probably comes from the age difference. For me, more of the interest comes from these sad lives. I would have liked a bit more Sarandon. The hardness of their chemistry is terrific.

It was interesting to me that it was more of a problem that she was such a slob than that she was significantly older than him. If anyone can carry off a believable and appealing older woman/younger man romance to a mass audience, it's Susan Sarandon. No other actress combines her ripe, open sexuality with such an accessible and self-assured personality. She makes sexiness respectable. James Spader does less well, not so much because of a faulty performance, but because he seems unable to break through a preternatural reserve. It served him well in "Sex, Lies and Videotape" but a little more emotionality is called for here. The sex scene when he is writhing in the throes of passion and finds a half-eaten sandwich under the bed is hilarious, not to mention the pivotal scene when he gives her a dustbuster as a gift. The future for this couple might seem unlikely, but I don't think it's any less likely than that of most movie lovers.

there are very few romance or romantic comedies, which strike a real note for the audience, or anyone who appreciates reality and decent acting.

This film does have that. Sarandon is very good; she is a "down-at-heel" waitress, almost twenty years older than the character portrayed by Spader. Some of the interactions are amusing and sad. Her drinking, her loss of a child. Spader's background is respectable, white-collar but bored, he meets Sarandon after missing his deceased wife.

Films like this are sometimes underrated. There was not a lot of hype about this film, which is one of the reasons I like it (We do not need Hollywood to tell us what's good, i.e. "The Break Up", which was actually not good).

While the scenes with Spader's relatives were a bit stereotyped, overall there are a few good messages here. Life doesn't always work out how we want, "perfect couples" aren't necessarily happy, and the Spader character was actually quite good, not being the negative insensitive character here. Definitely worth viewing. 8/10.

I liked James Spader's performance; demonstrating as it does a vulnerable quality I didn't know he had. All those wistful looks off into the distance, and the general aura of a man beaten down by life make for something that – I have to say - is pretty touching! This softer element he brings to the part was a nice change from seeing him do the sleazeball routine for the umpteenth time... The movie itself is reminiscent of Pretty Woman in spots, and is a pleasant surprise. An offbeat sleeper on Sarandon's resume.

It's got that whole 'you can't rationalise who you love' motif, which I'm all too aware of, in my everyday living... (of course)

The whole 'keeping things around for show as an empty token of status' philosophy of some of the protagonists pals is a nice comment on the world of yuppie superficiality that James Spader's characters themselves have often been found immersed in. The movie could easily have been just another bland melodrama, but these themes provide a refreshing and unexpected counterpoint.