Dice Rules

I can't say I expected much of "Dice Rules" at the beginning. It starts out with a series of lame sketches, giving us a pseudo-autobiographical look into Dice's life and how he inhabited this persona. He pretty much does this ludicrous Jerry Lewis impression, and I only laughed seldom. But I was glad to see Eddie Griffin, an underrated comedian, in one of his early roles. He appears as a gas station attendant.

Once we hit the 30-minute mark and arrive at the concert portion, all is made up for. Nonstop laughs! Dice delivers his trademark ultra-crude, ultra-explicit, ultra-nasty and ultra-funny humor. Those who don't get his humor, those who are easily offended--You shouldn't be watching this movie in the first place! For fans of Dice...you shall not be disappointed.

Sure, he's very frank with the cuss words, but I'm able to tolerate it because I know it's all an act. I mean, he's not even Italian! He's a Jew doing a very exaggerated impersonation of one. So you know all the rudeness is strictly in jest.

If you want big-time laughs...roll the Dice and take your chances! Just make sure you fast-forward through the first portion. Just stay for the stand-up.

My score: 7 (out of 10)

the opening segment, which explains how andrew became "the diceman," may be the most hilarious & entertaining thing i have ever witnessed. clay showcases his little-seen acting ability & shows a penchant for slapstick, physical humor. those who can't find the humor in this opening film must be spending a little too much time sniffing airplane glue. even if you aren't a fan of dice's stand-up shtick, i suggest that you rent "dice rules" to get a better appreciation for his talents as a comedic actor. even though the concert portion (the sold-out show at madison square garden) isn't his best, it's still filled with classic dice moments that will bring a nostalgic tear to any true fan's eye. but i'd pay top dollar for this movie just to hear the super-square andrew utter lines like: "have you noticed how my savings have started to accrue?" simply put, he's unbelievable.

Dice Rules (1991) was a concert film that captured Andrew "Dice" Clay during his mainstream popularity era. For a few years, the "Dice Man" was all the rage. Misogynists loved him, everyone else loathed or hated the man. But how many people can say that they sold out Madison Square Garden? Knowing that his mainstream acceptance wouldn't last very long, he wisely milked it for whatever he could get out of it. Two theatrical releases (a movie and a concert film). The mainstream and bandwagon fans who wanted to be "hip" abandoned him. Today, the "Dice Man" is back entertaining his fans and performing nightly in Las Vegas. Not bad for a man who people thought would just fade away into obscurity.

One note about this picture. In order for it to be a theatrical release, the film makers had to pad out the running time. They added a prologue about how Andrew Clay used to be before he got his "jacket". A funny short that's well worth the rental of this movie. Love him or hate him. He's an American original.

Recommended for Andrew "Dice" Clay fans.

Watching this embarrassing spectacle was a reminder that the dumbing-down didn't start just yesterday with Paris Hilton's generation. Clay is unfunny and primitive to the bone, hence no wonder the crowds looked like as if every single American gas-station attendant and janitor had been flown to the gig to watch their one and only hero spit out nursery rhymes that any 8-grader could top given just ten minutes and a paper and a pencil.

The humour is beyond sophomoronic: it is utterly predictable and cheap. I'm one of the biggest proponents of political incorrectness in comedy, but being solely un-PC does not a good comedian make. The material, I am convinced, was specifically/intentionally targeted at the country's lowest demographics, and by that I mean the lowest IQs, people with the lowest education levels, even physical appearances. I've seen more intelligent/better-looking crowds at TV evangelist mass prayers. Watching a bunch of moronic riff-raff recite Clay's infantile rhymes was like sneaking a peak at your typical day at a school for the mentally-challenged.

Besides, making fun of invalids is not only downright pathetic, but the easiest thing anyone could possibly do; like stealing candy from a baby. Hence those "gags" were the worst. "Ha-ha, those midgets, they're so short, see!" It's amazing that even the most bird-brained truck-driver would find this amusing...

Clay hasn't even got half the charisma necessary to pull off any of these cretinous jokes. In fact, to get away with such ultra-inferior material, he'd have to be 20 Eddie Murphys, Ricky Gervais's and Dana Carveys rolled into one.

DICE RULES is one of the worst movies I have ever seen. It isn't even a movie. I don't like Andrew Dice Clay as a comedian. He is not clever, funny, interesting, creative, or daring. He just picks on different groups of minorities. He obviously hates women. He doesn't seem to see them as anything other than servants and sex tools. Why is this considered funny? I think George Carlin and Lenny Bruce are funny as hell. Why doesn't Andrew Dice Clay work? Because he is exploitative, mean spirited, and doesn't understand why what he is saying is simply wrong. He seems to hate everybody but himself. The audience of his skits are scary as hell. They look like an army of criminals with their fists thrusting upward and chanting his name as if they had practiced to chant it in perfect succession beforehand. This is one of the depressing films I've ever seen and I definitely don't recommend this film to anybody. I don't even want to meet somebody who finds this to be funny, although I already have numerous times. DICE RULES is complete crap.

Pros:

-none

Cons:

-bad comedy

-crude

-rude

-mean-spirited