Class of Nuke 'Em High Part II: Subhumanoid Meltdown

My review was written in March 1991 after watching the movie on video cassette.

Troma will have a hard time booking this unwarranted sequel, an incoherent mess that plays more like a trailer than a feature. Curiosity seekers in video stores represent the target audience.

Press kit ludicrously credits director Eric Louzil with discovering Kevin Costner. Actually he held back the thesp's career by hiring him for a couple of exploitation films a decade ago. Louzil demonstrates here that he has no feel for satire or comedy, absolute prerequisites for a Troma pic. Instead, most scenes consist of people running around aimlessly.

Beefcake star Brick Bronsky narrates a film-long flashback, a necessity given the lack of exposition in the live action. He's writing for the campus paper at Tromaville Institute of Technology, a combination college/nuclear power plant. Mad scientist Prof. Holt (attractive Lisa Gaye wearing piled up hairdo exaggerated from John Waters' "Hairspray") has created a race of drone subhumanoid workers, including beautiful Victoria (Leesa Rowland).

Unfortunately, they are subject to an ailment that causes them to melt into green goo. While Holt is working on the antidote, a squirrel turns into a Godzilla-type monster and stomps on some obvious miniatures.

An unfunny running gag insistas on the subhumanoids having mouths where their belly buttons should be. This is an excuse for plenty of topless footage of starlets, including porn star Trinity Loren. Production is so sloppy that a scene of bald subhumanoids has one of them portrayed by porn actres Sharon Mitchell with her normal hairdo.

Lead cast members have trouble reading lines and the dumb sound effects aren't very funny. Makeup and stop-motion effects are strictly amateurish.

You've got to be a die-hard fan to embrace this one. Sounds corny? It's meant to be goofy. The class of nuke 'em high is back, and this time they're in college! I remember watched this as a kid, I am thankful for that. This is a great film with a tone reminiscent of Doctor Detroit. If you love silly, this should be a rewarding experience for you. Granted, most supporting characters were one-dimensional. There's something very nostalgic about it. I urge you to see it with an open mind. It will either surprise or disappoint you, depending on what your expectations are. I laughed and was moved and all of that good stuff. It gets 7 out of 10 from me.

Brick Bronsky stars as an intellectual muscle man who ends up protecting the girl of his dreams (Translated the only girl who will sleep with him) from corporation lackeys as well as a group of fat bikers who dominate the college. Oh and there are subhumanoids who are created and melt down with little of explanation, although the professor(Lisa Gaye) who sports a Marge Simpson haircut has a cure and being that Bronsky's girlfriend is a subhumanoid, he wants the cure. Of course education takes a backseat to non-stop bizarre set-pieces. Because last month was Halloween I did a non-stop binge on horror movies (AKA movies found in my horror section)and I saw this with the first. The first movie was made with gross out humor but also with restraint that things never got too out of control. Not so here, as Class Of Nukem High II is so bizarre and surreal that it's a non-stop assault on not only your senses but also your common sense and your physical being in general. You will not find a more weird film and yet I admit some of this went a long way, just not enough to be worth putting money down on. Reviewing this movie is hard because it's meant to be bizarre and there is tons of imagination and moments where the humor works but it's just so weird. And my taste in movies is hardly mainstream.

** Out of 4-(Fair)

Before I start, I feel I should reveal that long ago I was a Troma fan. I loved movies like "The Toxic Avenger" and "Troma's War". But the last Troma movie I liked was "Tromeo & Juliet" - after that, with movies like "Citizen Toxie", "Terror Firmer", and "Poultrygeist", I just didn't find their brand of humor funny anymore. They now seem to be trying too hard, screaming in our ears "HA HA, ISN'T THIS FUNNY?" Anyway, when I got my hands on "Class Of Nuke 'Em High Part II", I decided I would give it a chance, seeing it came from Troma during the period that they were at their height.

Unfortunately, I found this older movie to be just as bad as the product Troma is currently putting out - possibly even worse. The screenplay credit lists SIX writers, which should give you some idea of what a mess the final product is. It's such a mess, that the movie often depends on a narrator to explain some of the characters and what's going on. But there's still a lot about the movie that will have you scratch your head. Every character is basically running around screaming and not much more. None of this is funny, and nothing about the movie is funny, unless you find the idea of a library named after President Nixon funny. There's also an awful music score, and a feeling that the director is trying to be grotesque in every shot.

There's one good thing in the movie. There are some stop-motion animated sequences, and they're quite good for what was a very low budget. But even if you're interested in animation, you should still skip this movie.

This is one of the funniest movies I have ever seen. It is incredibly stupid, incredibly bad acted, and includes incredibly bad special effects. So, what's not to like? I mean, this movie also includes an award winning number of melon heavy breasts...although many of these chicks are bald...but hey, they got large knockers! Yes, this is Class of Nuke Em High 2: Subhumanoid Meltdown. It has near no relation to the original Class of Nuke Em High, but that is okay. This film is about the T.I.T: Tromaville Institute of Technology and all the wacky things that happen on campus including a giant mutated squirrel who likes large nuts, peeing on nuclear power plants, and sneezing on innocent civilians. At the same time, subhumanoids have lived on campus, they are like humans only they have a mouth instead of a belly button, so they are better at making love. Sound simple enough because we also got a dolphin-sophomore who is belemic and a professor with a 9 foot hairdo. Dear, I have said too much. Just make sure to hear the rocking theme song, which is one of the film's best qualities. Just check this movie out nuff said. It is dumb, tasteless, and incredibly bad, but also it is hilarious! Check it out!