Sorority House Massacre II

(*1/2 out of *****) I gotta admit -- it was tough giving this one a low score simply for the base reason that viewers are treated to an absolute cavalcade of bodacious babes in the skimpiest of lingerie, and every single one of them has her own topless scene to boot. But, I gotta be true to myself and rate this according to how it represents the horror/slasher genre, and, unfortunately, it's represented pretty poorly with this derivative junk. This was released the same year as Wynorski's Hard To Die, and both movies have some of the same actors and use flashbacks from the original Slumber Party Massacre rather than the first SHM (don't ask me why.) The plots are also nearly identical, right down to the ho-hum demon posession that's thrown in for laughs. Orville Ketchum also repeats the same role he played in Hard To Die. I don't know if his character is supposed to provide comic relief or what, but, under Wynorski's terrible direction (as in Hard To Die), he gets real tiresome real fast. Overall, this is a poorly-written, highly exploitative, and frustratingly tedious mess, but -- damn me for being a sexist male -- them girls is hot!

HIGHLIGHT: Not to beat this thing into the ground, but I honestly don't think this flick goes five minutes without a gratuitous T&A shot (or two). I need to get out more. ...

Pick up truck. Large breasted girls in terrible 80s clothes. Dilapidated mansion. The opening scene looks like The Beverly Hillbillies crossed with the Addams Family, dragged kicking and screaming into 1980s, with a cast of large-breasted female cyphers jiggling for the camera in an old mansion, before flashbacks of a driller killer begin.

This will either be goofball fun, or mind numbing. Sadly, it is mostly a mixed bag.

Newspaper headlines try to fill in the viewers to the history of the house in this story, but Elvis Lives! headline was moronic, and turns the entire scene into an unfunny joke. When a Satanic serial killer in plaid rears his bloated, flabby face near the house on a rainy night, the girls strip to their undies and consult a Ouija board for help.

Lightning flashes are lifted from the title scene from Gilligan's Island!

At one point, it takes the killer about five minutes just to walk across a two lane street while stalking the girls. It's pouring down with rain when he begins walking, but by the time he gets across the street and at the house, it has stopped raining. The film's pacing is as slow as the killer's walk, because it takes forever for anything to happen.

Linda (played by short little Robyn/ Gail Harris) is my favourite of the lot, but there are no decent nude scenes or sex scenes. It seems more like a PG-rated lingerie shoot than a slasher flick for the first 30 minutes, then some mostly mild violence is brought into the mix, as the girls are stalked (very slowly) by Captain Happy in his plaid overalls, throughout this old mansion.

This one-act story stretched out to 77 minutes basically climaxes about 60 minutes in, and then it falls back on the undying killer cliché, before resorting to the demonic possession cliché, in a surprisingly blood-drenched ending. Of which, there are no less than FOUR endings to this!

I was trolling through the dusty section of my video store looking at all the pornos when I decided to venture into the horror section.

I was after a bit of a horror fix and found this movie. The cover looked awesome and promised boobs! yes! boobies and blood!.

The girls in this movie were all really hot! 80's girls are the best! There's something hot about skimpily dressed chicks with nice racks alone wandering around an old abandoned mansion with some big fat acne faced creepy neighbor lurking about.

I felt the director crafted together the right combo of boobs, & atmosphere & breasts. Robyn Harris who played the lead 'Linda' was great with her sexy British accent (didn't expect it!) while Peter Spellos was funny as Orville Ketchum.

It is definitely one for a late rainy night or to watch with friends for a fun time.

7/10

Sorority House Massacre II is a great improvement on the original which was basically a rip off of Halloween. In this installment scantily clad sorority girls move into the house where the original took place. There are flash backs, but not to the original Sorority House Massacre, but to the original Slumber Party Massacre, I guess even the film makers got confused, but who cares? This movie is "chopped" full of hilarious dialogue and nudity. Lets not forget Orville Ketchum who gives a stunning performance as the neighbor. Is he the killer or is he out to help the girls? You'll have to see for yourself and you won't be disappointed. This is a classic slasher flick with all the ingredients to keep you entertained for 90 minutes. I mean these girls take 30 minute showers to just clean their breasts, there isn't any hot water, but they can't sleep if they feel "dirty," and they search the house for their missing friends in their underwear. This flick is awesome! Check it out, you won't be sorry.

I'm with Joe Bob on this one.

****SPOILERS AHEAD****

What other movie shamelessly borrows lengthy scenes from another totally unrelated movie ("Slumber Party Massacre") and uses them as flashback sequences, but with completely different back story and character names? This technique, by the way, kept this movie from being less than 70 minutes in length.

What other movie could boldly insert a lengthy topless bar scene (featuring the late porn-star deluxe, Savannah) simply to cast suspicion on the neighborhood pervert? Well, wait a minute...I guess a lot of more mainstream movies do that, too.

But you have to admit that this movie confirms what we males have always suspected: When women get together for a sleepover or slumber party, they spend half their time running around the house naked and the other half wearing the lingerie that even Victoria's Secret refuses to sell.

****END OF SPOILERS****

But above all, this movie is watchable. It's not too long, the scenery is interesting, and the blood is evenly spread throughout the movie. What more can you ask for from a B-movie?