Robot Ninja

I bought this movie for six dollars at this place that smelled like green beans. I thought it'd be cool, because I adore both robots AND ninjas. I feel I enjoy them equally. Both are enriching, and make for splendid film components, be it sci-fi, drama, or what have you. May I state here that this horrid film contains neither a robot nor a ninja. It does not even feature a robot that happens to be a ninja, or vice-versa, as the title would seem to imply. Rather, it is about a comic-book artist who is angry that there is crime, and decides to dress up like a comic book guy and mutilate people in disgustingly low-budget ways. The lead character is by far the least likable character in the movie, which says a lot since many of the other characters are in fact rapists. None of the violence is at all realistic, or at least I hope it doesn't look that gross when you poke people's eyes out. Linnea Quigley and Burt Ward are both in it, for whatever reason. They must be astonishingly poverty-stricken. Anyway, you won't like this, and I'm sorry I purchased it. You should probably destroy any copies you are able to get your hands on. Please do so now.

A friend rented this movie a few years ago are a party, and a few people ran to the bathroom to puke their guts out. This movie is basically low-budget violence for the sake of low-budget violence, done in an incredibly disturbing and violent way. Unlike other movies that disturb you and are thought-provoking, this just leaves you feeling cheap, dirty, and sick to your stomach. No good story, terrible acting, obviously no budget. This could have not even looked good on paper. If you take pleasure in seeing a man get his forearm stabbed repeatedly by a girl gang, only to have him stick a metal plate into the wound, this is the movie for you.

My review was written in July 1990 after watching the movie on Cinema Home Video cassette.

This amateur direct-to-video picture is aimed at gorehounds and fans ot the disgusting.

One-man Akron, Ohio filmmaker J. R. Bookwalter dedicates this feature to comic strip artists, and its best aspect consists of black & white comic drawings of the adventures of "Robot Ninja" by David Lange.

Rather inferior-quality live action concerns artist Michael Todd, who decides to fight violent crime in his small town of Ridgway by taking up the silver mask of his fictional hero and going on the warpath himself. In between boring scenes of his problems with his publisher, Burt Ward, are awkwardly staged acts of mayhem. Watching people throw up and expose fake-looking innards is no fun.

Ward is along as an afterthought, making verbal references to the campiness of the proceedings, analogous to his "Batman" tv series. He's named Stan Kane and similar homages are in other character names like Cameron, Spinell, DePalma and Miss Barbeau.

Bookwalter scores low marks in all technical departments, committing a cardinal sin for a tyro filmer of overusing the hand-held camera.

My friend and I rented this movie because it has two great words combined into one crappy movie. Robot Ninja! He got sick of women kickin his butt so he donned a spandex "tank armored" suit and became the robot ninja. It sucked so much it was funny. I recommend it to fans of G.I. Bro and Frogs! Well that's it... time to write my paper on this magnificent piece of crap probably made in someone's closet or laundry room.

...here it is.

I rented this in my early teens sometime, actually hoping for a Ninja movie, or better yet, a ROBOT Ninja movie.

The main character and some inventor guy make this costume, and becomes... THE ROBOT NINJA! dun dun dun....

Well, it's a guy in a dumb looking suit. He's not a robot, and he's not a ninja. I'm pretty sure he never even tried to do any sort of "ninja move" either.

The whole thing was really really boring and lame, and I'm sure that if I watched it again now I'd laugh my ass off at how horrible this thing is. At the time I wanted a damn ninja movie, and this thing just plain sucked.

Could have used more ninjas, robots, and robot ninjas.