The Fantastic Four

I watched this last night and was very disappointed...not because it was awful, but because it was quite good !!

I'd heard the rumours of this film for years and seen priced up bootleg copies at comics fairs and had assumed from its non-release status that it was going to be truly terrible, but taken as a glorified tv-movie I really enjoyed it. For those in the know, it is way better than some previous efforts, the Captain America or Justice League movies for example. The Thing in particular was very well done, and it is worth watching for the "It's Clobbering Time" line alone. Doctor Doom also looks exactly how you would want him to, and the whole film left me with an urge to dig up some reprints of the old Kirby Fantastic 4 comics I'd read as a kid.

I'd say any comic nerds (like me) looking for a fun hour and a half should definitely check this one out... just don't go in expecting spiderman !!

While this movie admittedly does not deserve a theatrical release, there's no reason I can see why it shouldn't be shown on TV, or get a straight-to-video release. There *are* worse movies. That said, it is overlong, and some of the dialogue is absolutely dreadful.

When HULK hit theaters in 2003, it wasn't long before DVDs of the old Incredible Hulk TV show popped up in an attempt to cash in on the craze. We saw a similar occurrence a year prior when Spider-Man cartoons appeared on DVD to coincide with that hero's big screen debut. Companies leap at the opportunity to ride on the financial coattails of a hot brand.

So the fact that this picture never surfaced on the shelves of Wal-Mart as its featured heroes clobbered the box office in the summer of 2005 says a lot. I guess everyone involved would just rather forget. To be fair, THE FANTASTIC FOUR is not as bad as everyone says. Let me rephrase that. It's not as unentertaining as all of its negative reviews might suggest.

Veteran television actor Alex Hyde-White (no, you don't remember any of his roles) leads the way as Reed Richards, the brilliant scientist who, along with his crew, gains bizarre powers after an outer space mishap. He's left with the ability to stretch and contort his body to outrageous lengths. His future wife, Sue Storm (Rebecca Staab), can suddenly turn invisible, while her brother, Johnny (Jay Underwood), may now ignite himself at will. Then there's poor Ben Grimm (Michael Bailey Smith), the lovable lug whose body morphs into a mass of craggy, orange rock.

Just as the friends are becoming accustomed to all of this, they are called upon to rescue the world from certain chaos. It seems Reed's old colleague Victor von Doom (Joseph Culp) is living up to his name, and that villainous Jeweler (Ian Trigger) isn't exactly helping old ladies cross the street, either. Can our heroes save the day? Of course they can; like any superhero movie, it's just a question of how and when.

What's striking about THE FANTASTIC FOUR is how amateurish it is in virtually every aspect. The dialog is so lame and tired it sounds like it was written by a junior high drama class. The acting is so unpolished it makes a third-rate afternoon soap opera look like Shakespeare. The special effects are surprisingly good considering the minuscule budget, but there are still some positively embarrassing moments. When The Human Torch fully ignites his body, for instance, the entire movie briefly turns into a cartoon. I can just hear that production meeting. "Oh, no one will notice. They'll be too intrigued by the action!" I mean really, a cartoon? At least give me a mannequin on fire held up by a string! Prior to that, the scene in which the foursome come to on earth after their spaceship crashes is pure teens-in-the-backyard fare. The crew simply found a field and lit a vaguely-spaceship-like object on fire. That's the only remnant of such a major disaster?

Of course there wasn't a whole lot to work with in the script. There is a fairly coherent story here, but it's all so simplified. When Reed and Ben decide to go into outer space, they simply drop by the Storms' house and ask if they'd care to join them. Is it really that easy? Don't these sort of things require, oh, I don't know, years of training and expertise? Not in the world of these writers, who seemed to be inspired by the underrated genius on display in FULL HOUSE reruns. But as bad as that may be, nothing can compare to how painfully clichéd Dr. Doom is. He was pulled right out of those awful superhero cartoons from the 1960s, right down to the evil laugh and slamming his clenched fist down on the table to punctuate his remarks. No comic book, least of all Fantastic Four, has ever featured a villain so obscenely one dimensional.

Ultimately, THE FANTASTIC FOUR is saved from being a complete turkey because it's just so damn innocent. You can tell the people involved, as little talent or experience as they had, really tried. They didn't know the final result would be so embarrassing. They were under the impression that this was their big break, that people would flock to the theaters. It bears repeating that they had virtually no money to work with (and I'm sure half of that was eaten up by the cool Thing costume). All things considered, they did well, and for its many flaws, the finished product is a fair amount of fun for comic book fans.

As long as you keep in mind that the production of this movie was a copyright ploy, and not intended as a serious release, it is actually surprising how not absolutely horrible it is. I even liked the theme music.

And if ever a flick cried out for a treatment by Joel (or Mike) and the MST3K Bots, this is it! Watch this with a bunch of smart-ass wise-crackers, and you're in for a good time. Have a brew, butter up some large pretzels, and enjoy.

Of course, obtaining a copy requires buying a bootleg or downloading it as shareware, but if you're here on the IMDb, then you're most likely savvy enough to do so. Good luck.

And look for my favorite part....where Dr. Doom informs the FF that they have 12 hours to comply with his wishes....and he actually gestures the number "12" with his finger while doing so....it's like "Evil Sesame Street"....hoo boy.

...and of course Mrs. Storm declaring "Just look at you....the Fanstastic Four" is just so heartwarming....you'll laugh, you'll cry.....

So if you love schlocky Sci-Fi, this one's Fantastic For you!

Today, movies based on comic book superheroes are all the rage. They are routinely some of the biggest blockbusters of the year and several recent superhero flicks are among the highest grossing films of all time. But this was not always so. For a while, comic book heroes were relegated to cheap serials and B pictures, along with made-for-TV movies.

SUPERMAN: THE MOVIE (1978) was a "real" movie: an A picture with a Hollywood-sized budget and a cast of name actors. Tim Burton's BATMAN (1989) was another "real" movie based on a comic book superhero. Both films spawned successful franchises, bringing the fantasy world of DC Comics to life on the big screen. But in the early '90s, it seemed that comic book properties (outside of Batman, that is) were still largely considered niche fare, worthy only of low-budget productions aimed at children (the perceived comic book-reading community). Marvel Comics did not have the kind of success enjoyed by rival DC. While Superman and Batman had been brought to the screen courtesy of Warner Bros., Marvel's characters were licensed out to small-time studios. A planned Spider-Man film fell through in the late '80s and a low-budget Captain America film was released direct-to-video in 1990.

Which brings us to THE FANTASTIC FOUR (1994). If comic book movies were thought to be too goofy or weird for mainstream, big-budget productions, then I guess THE FANTASTIC FOUR is the perfect low-budget, cheesy superhero movie. The film remains true to the comics with regard to the colorful costumes and the characters. (Evidently there was little concern in these movies to "adapt" the source material for mainstream consumption.) The special effects aren't too fancy, but it's interesting to see how the filmmakers make do with what they've got in order to tell their story.

The movie tells the origin of Marvel Comics' First Family. An outer space mishap leaves four individuals with extraordinary abilities. Dr. Reed Richards ("Mr. Fantastic") can stretch his body like a rubber band. Sue Storm ("The Invisible Girl") can become invisible. Johnny Storm ("Human Torch") can conjure flames. Ben Grimm ("The Thing") has a rocklike exterior and super-strength. They must battle Dr. Doom, a hooded megalomaniac who wants to harness the secret to their powers.

Rebecca Staab is too cute as Sue Storm (and in that blue spandex... wowsers). Joseph Culp hams it up to a high degree as Dr. Doom. His face hidden behind a metal mask, Doom takes to wild gesticulations and his booming dialogue is amusingly over-the-top. Jay Underwood, looking like Armie Hammer's long-lost older brother, plays the fiery-tempered Johnny Storm, who mainly shoots fire out of his hand. He doesn't realize his full "Human Torch" potential until the climax, when the producers shell out for some early CGI. The animatronic Thing mask is rather impressive, despite some lip-sync limitations. Of all the superpowers portrayed in the film, Reed Richards's stretchy effects are the most awkward.

It's nice to see Reed Richards (Alex Hyde-White) portrayed as maybe a half-generation older than Sue and Johnny. Reed knew Sue when she was a kid and he was a college student. A decade later, Reed is a big-time scientist, complete with (somewhat ridiculous) gray temples and Sue and Johnny are grown-up enough to go with him on a space mission. Ben (Michael Bailey Smith), Reed's jock buddy from college, is the pilot.

In this story, Reed Richards and Doom were college eggheads together before the accident that led Doom down his sinister path. Reed blames himself for his friend's apparent death, while Doom seeks revenge by sabotaging Reed's later expedition. In the ten-year gap Doom has somehow become the iron-fisted ruler of some foreign domain, living in a mountaintop castle and everything.

A secondary villain, the Jeweler (Ian Trigger), leads an underground society of social outcasts. He has a poetic soul and serves as an interesting contrast to Doom.

I'm only casually familiar with "Fantastic Four" comic book continuity, but this 1994 movie hits some right notes. The romance between Reed and Sue, starting as a schoolgirl crush on a mentor figure. The love story between the monstrously disfigured Ben Grimm and the blind Alicia Masters. The blue and white costumes (sewn apparently out of thin air by Sue Storm on a lazy afternoon at the Baxter Building). There's even an appearance by the Fantasticar.

The film never mentions the heroes' well-known comic book nicknames, but in one particularly corny scene the team is given its "Fantastic Four" moniker. The movie also posits the theory that the cosmic rays that transformed them delved into their psyches and turned their personal weaknesses into their greatest strengths (shy violet Sue Storm has the ability to disappear, etc.). I don't know if this comes from the comic book origins, but the pseudoscientific explanation allows the film to move on to more important things.

As a low-budget superhero romp, THE FANTASTIC FOUR goes down easy. It's not the polished studio blockbuster that we've come to expect from comic book movies, but it's a faithful adaptation on a small scale. A quaint little movie with a lot of heart. Somewhat tragically, the film was never intended to be released, unbeknownst to the cast and crew. All their hard work for nothing. Luckily the movie has found its way out into the world and can be tracked down by those interested in giving it a shot.