Cyborg Cop

I bought this on DVD for £1 after me and a friend of mine were having a season of watching really lame films, and I have to say, this is very possibly the most unintentionally funny film I have ever seen in my whole life. I don't know what the hell Sam Firstenberg was smoking when he made it, but whatever it was seems to have totally affected his ability to shout "Cut!" as there are so many scenes that left me wondering why the hell they didn't just go back and refilm them. And the editing is atrociously bad. Look carefully during the scene where David Bradley's character is assaulting the house on his motorbike. He jumps off the bike, and shoots twice at a couple of guys, one on the roof, and one on a balcony. Count them, he fires two shots. So then why, inexplicably, does a third man roll down the stairs immediately after, clearly having been shot? It was this kind of total sloppiness that made the film so enjoyable, yet baffling, as they obviously had a decent enough size budget to hire helicopters and blow the hell out of everything, yet not enough to edit the damn thing right...

Other unintentionally comic moments are: "Quincy" the Cyborg (Yes, Quincy...) trying to smash through the door in the morgue but nearly knocking himself out as only the top half of the door crumples (my favourite bit. Watch it in slo-mo...).

Quincy getting electrocuted and walking into a wall.

Quincy's hand-knife-glove-fingers.

Quincy, the most advanced robot cyborg in the world deciding the best way to kill the president during the demonstration is to dive through the windscreen headfirst and catch fire.

David Bradley doing a spinning kick and kicking no-one in the face in the fight outside the bar.

David Bradley disarming a guard, then spinning round on the spot for no reason before shooting him.

David Bradley's lame attempts to distract the police officers in the car before he snatches the gun.

David Bradley's Bumbag.

David Bradley.

Todd Jensen's "Philip" cyborg, and his wholly inappropriate cyborg voice. Coupled with a hilarious penchant for repeating words for no reason, such as, John Rhys-Davies: "this is the bank"...

Philip: "BANK"...

Put simply, if you haven't seen this movie, hunt it down. It is utterly hilarious, for all the wrong reasons. 10 out of 10.

CYBORG COP is an entertaining low-rent beat 'em up with a sci-fi twist. It's a classic piece of B-movie fare, featuring all the usual elements we've come to expect (and love) from our cult films: a muscled, posturing hero (David Bradley), a slumming British actor playing the villain (John Rhys-Davies, who should know better), locations standing in for elsewhere (here, South Africa is meant to be the Caribbean), awful effects (the robot suits are something else), plentiful action, a gratuitous sex scene (featuring DOUBLE IMPACT's pneumatic starlet, Alonna Shaw) and terrible script.

The story has hints of ROBOCOP but those expecting to see a robot dishing out justice on the streets, as the title would imply, are in for disappointment: the cyborg cop of the title is a supporting character who never gets to go out on the beat. Instead, this is a standard revenge format, with the lead character (Jack Ryan, not the Tom Clancy one) tracking the villain to his lair to rescue his kidnapped sibling. Bradley's acting is pants, but he gets to show off his martial arts skills in a series of low budgeted but highly enjoyable action scenes which involve plentiful destruction and mayhem.

The movie has a decent director in the form of Sam Firstenberg, whose REVENGE OF THE NINJA is still my favourite ninja movie; CYBORG COP doesn't reach those highs, but it is a lot of fun. The combination of cheesy effects, cheesier one-liners, shoehorned-in nudity and diabolical acting (Rhys-Davies repeatedly slips into a broad Yorkshire accent for some reason) make this a heady brew that cult fans will find difficult to turn down!

I miss the 90s I really do, and I remember this film profoundly when I was a kid especially the sex scene, kidding . Now, let's get serious and cut to the chase. Cyborg cop is one of those low-budget films that were inspired by the popularity of "Terminator 2". Of course, this is not your typical "Terminator" movie, but still it has some entertainment for home video. This is also one of the first rare movies that includes hard core "Commando" like action, cyborgs and martial arts. And I think that makes this movie pretty cool. Our leading hero is Jack Ryan (typical name for all American movie hero from low budget films, you know, the usual names are John, Jack, Bill, Ray, James, Jim, Mason, Matrix you know, the cool, strong sounding names), the DEA agent. He received a message from his brother who disappeared in action somewhere in Caribbean islands and of course, he convinced (through violence) his boss to go there and investigate what happened with his brother Phillip. And over there, he finds out that there's more than some drug traffic, like more action scenes, and meeting a sexy reporter Kate, and of course a secret laboratory for cyborgs. And now, it's on you already know how this kind of movies end. Jack is played by David Bradley (best known for American Ninja sequels and American Samurai), a martial artist and actor who well, as you can see, acting his not his tougher side, but he gave us an interesting fighting scenes. But the character was interestingly written, with his "I don't give a damn" attitude, leather jackets and his waist bag, which he also has in the sequel. As a main villain, we have John Rhys Davies wait a minute He is a good actor, if not the best actor in the entire film, I never realized how some of good actors end up in a low budget, crappy films. But, John did several of them, so I think he was OK with that, he is the main, rich scientist called Kessler who created cyborg. He did pretty well in the film, but on occasions, he looked like some cliché, silly villain, with white suit and walking cane, with ridiculous accent. The leading lady Kate is played by Alonna Shaw. Ohhhh, that sexiness the lovely blonde of the early 90s love that, you remember her perhaps from Double Impact (1991), she was here just to look hot and have a sex scene with Jack, because her acting is also not that good. Jack's brother Philip is played by Todd Jensen, yet another low budget actor, I have seen him so many low budget films. And, there is a supporting villain, a cyborg named well, just cyborg, really menacing prototype who makes an interesting, mad faces, the dude looks funny and his, I mean, the "cyborg outfit", masked leg and arm, that looks like an expensive Halloween costume. Oh and I love those funny explosive, remote control airplanes and Jamaicans cheering for a good fight when Jack is taking over the bar Oh, and a fact that cyborgs were built by a German scientist now that was extremely funny and really unusual cliché.

David Bradley stars as Jack Ryan, a kickboxing special agent who travels to some third world country to save his Rambo-like brother from a mad scientist trying to create an army of robots, helping him is a female reporter. David Bradley is about as good as he ever gets and the movie has some decent special effects and some fun action sequences which make the movie modestly watchable. However this movie lacks the crisp action of Bradley's best effort Hard Justice and the intriguing plot angles of Total Reality and instead this movie works as one of Bradley's better movies. Though it's only for genre fans. John Rhys Davies makes a great cheeseball villain and Double Impact's Alonna Shaw is easy on the eyes and frankly that's all I needed to get me over the film's mindless premise and routine script.

* * out of 4-(Fair)

Well if your like me and you love these cheap martial arts/Sci-fi films made in the mid 90's when the Karate film genre was big then this is no exception. David Bradley (king of TV movies) is the hero in this one and he has to try and rescue his brother from, believe it or not none other than John Rhys-Davies. His accent is very bad i'm not sure if its a poor british accent or an African one. The highlight of the film is that Bradley wears a massive black leather Bum Bag (or fanny Pack) throughout the film and never takes it off even when hes fighting! He co ordinates this fine piece of clothing with a gold belt. The fighting isn't too bad and the action is ok. I would recommend buying it for a bit of fun.