Pocket Ninjas

A friend of mine purchased this movie in a bargain bin, with a few others. Now, I am generally a fan of bad movies, particularly bad horror movies... This film however, left me aghast.

I can summarize this simply, with the event that transpired after the film completed.

Me:"I will give you a quarter to let me microwave that." Friend:"5 cents a second."

The quarter was more then enough to put that poor DVD out of its misery. It then was aptly flung around until it shattered on a radiator.

This movie is firmly placed at the status of "The Worst Movie Ever". And anytime someone brings up an alternative, I merely offer this one up as evidence. This movie has only a single place, that of forgotten obscurity, it is unfortunate that it was so bad, it has been wedged into my mind forever.

That includes the worst movies ever made by a five year old kid with his parent's video camera. Trying to follow the plot was like looking at a Escher painting, but without anything interesting to see along the way. The acting was terrible, and the directing was worse. The best thing about the movie was making fun of it with my friends.

I highly suggest that you don't see this movie unless you are:

A) brain dead

B) deaf AND blind

C) punishing yourself

D) a cinematic masochist

E) all of the above

Preferable E.

I am a big fan of bad movies, and my friends and I often rent or buy bad movies and make fun of them together. I was at the mall a few days ago and saw this on DVD for 5 dollars. I laughed at the cover and bought it without thinking twice. It definitely gave us something to make fun of. The plot of the movies jumps around a lot, and it was really hard to tell what was happening. We almost fell on the ground when we first found out who the evil boss is. The movie is extremely random and the acting is hilariously bad. Also, the sound on the DVD is really really dim and hard to hear. It is a horrible movie, so if you are a fan of them, you might wanna check it out.

BTW: It said it was made in 1994 in the beginning, but I trust IMDB more than them. Either way, it seemed like it was made in the early 80s at best.

I have never known beauty until I saw this movie. Now flowers smell sweeter, the sky is bluer, and my cocaine is whiter. When I now think of the top three greatest films of all time I'll think of The Godfather, A Clockwork Orange, and Pocket Ninjas.

The directing in this film (I use the word not in disrespect to the greatness to which is this) is above par. I have to admit I'm a little put off by the fact there aren't enough montages. It is just new film all the time in a coherent manner. I have to admit that this is a new take on filming. Maybe it'll catch on.

As for the acting? When I think of the three greatest actors I now think of Al Pacino, Anthony Hopkins, and the littlest pocket ninja.

Truly, I think the Academy missed a great film here. They should re-release it into the theatres (it's not like it was a straight to Laser-disc film). I think it'd sweep them all. Even best music.

Well...I'm going back into my cave, then it's back to another day of Pocket Ninja watching. This movie makes my life worth living!

Pocket Ninjas is one of the few movies that is so bad it's good. Most of the movie is flashback, but poorly done and confusing. The plot has more holes than the finest swiss cheese, and it takes 9 minutes for the opening credits to end. I personally found the patty-cake "battle" between the White Dragon and one of Cobra Khan's cronies in the carnival absolutely hilarious. The location for this movie is perfect. The dojo is right next to a liquor store, but nobody seems to mind. The training sequences are long, obnoxious and downright painful. This is quite possibly the worst "professional" production I have ever seen. All in all, the perfect formula for the perfect awful movie.