Pocket Ninjas

This movie is, flat out, atrocious in every way. The acting is awful, the stunts are laughable, the fights are very poor, there is no plot, and what little plot that exists is ridiculous. However, I highly recommend it as a tutorial on how not to make a movie, and for any big group of people who wants to end up rolling on the floor laughing.

I have never known beauty until I saw this movie. Now flowers smell sweeter, the sky is bluer, and my cocaine is whiter. When I now think of the top three greatest films of all time I'll think of The Godfather, A Clockwork Orange, and Pocket Ninjas.

The directing in this film (I use the word not in disrespect to the greatness to which is this) is above par. I have to admit I'm a little put off by the fact there aren't enough montages. It is just new film all the time in a coherent manner. I have to admit that this is a new take on filming. Maybe it'll catch on.

As for the acting? When I think of the three greatest actors I now think of Al Pacino, Anthony Hopkins, and the littlest pocket ninja.

Truly, I think the Academy missed a great film here. They should re-release it into the theatres (it's not like it was a straight to Laser-disc film). I think it'd sweep them all. Even best music.

Well...I'm going back into my cave, then it's back to another day of Pocket Ninja watching. This movie makes my life worth living!

That includes the worst movies ever made by a five year old kid with his parent's video camera. Trying to follow the plot was like looking at a Escher painting, but without anything interesting to see along the way. The acting was terrible, and the directing was worse. The best thing about the movie was making fun of it with my friends.

I highly suggest that you don't see this movie unless you are:

A) brain dead

B) deaf AND blind

C) punishing yourself

D) a cinematic masochist

E) all of the above

Preferable E.

My daughter and I found this movie in a clearance bin for only $3.00 and thought, "Why not?". Now I'm thinking of asking for a refund. The acting was very poor. Scripting was third grade level and that's being generous. I've read comic books with better lines. What little plot existed could have been improved by my six year old nephew. They re-used scenes multiple times and used some cheap stock footage to fill in some time. I guess this is what you get when people without skills or talent try to make a movie. The fight scenes reminded me of very low-brow slap-stick humor. This was supposed to be an action adventure and turned out to be a bad comedy. I feel sorry for the actors and actresses. If this didn't kill their careers then nothing will. If you are thinking of buying or renting this movie give your cash to the homeless guy in front of the liquor store instead. The money will be better spent and chances are it's one of the actors.

And this year's Oscar goes to.......Pocket Ninjas!! Ladies and Gentlemen, forget Million Dollar Baby, Ray, and Sideways, they don't even compare to this wonderful movie directed by Dave Eddy. One could say that salvation could be obtained just by watching half a second of this movie.

Between the fantastic lighting, brilliant sound, and with a villain no older than 10, this movie combines fantastic writing (like "You're not only a dumb blonde, but you're a vegetarian" and "Oh yeah, well you're a fat Republican") you're bound for a four star movie.

Honestly, this very well could've been the worst movie I've ever seen in my entire life. If you and a few buddies want some gut-wrenching laughs, however, or you're just a big fan of bad movies, I would highly recommend this movie and all its hilarity.