La guerra dei mutanti

At the dawn of the direct to video market, Tim Kincaid took a break from making pornography to try his hand at being Ed Wood (who, come to think of it, also made pornography). Anyway, a couple of his efforts, "Breeders" and "Bad Girls Dormitory", have left a lasting impression with - well- the sort of people who watch that sort of movie.

This movie can be best compared to Kincaid's other movie "Robot Holocaust", his attempt at a post-apocalyptic action film. However, whereas the latter is so hilariously bad that it's fun to watch even without the MST3K comments, this movie is just bad in a lame 80's sort of way - right down to the pounding synthesizer soundtrack that has you wondering when the aerobics class is going to start.

Yes, there are a few comically bad scenes. For example, why does a "mercenary" adorn his apartment with every weapon every made - except a loaded gun? But they're few and far between. Mostly, it's just boring.

Not worth the time, even to make fun of it.

If you watch this to see a great movie, you are sadly mistaken. I know from experience that if you see Tim Kincaid's name on the box, you aren't going to find anything close. Still, this would definitely be a treat to schlock fans of the dumbest movies ever made, and, in their case, I'm surprised a group of these loveable weirdos haven't crowned this one as a cult classic yet. I would like to point out, though, that this movie is not as gory as the box makes it out to be. There are only a few good splattery moments (my favorite being the cyborg hacking his own hand off). Otherwise, this is only a horror movie by the most technical standards, meaning that it's as much of a horror movie as "C.H.U.D. 2". "Mutant Hunt" is more along the lines of a brainless sci-fi actioner. Is "Mutant Hunt" enjoyable? Yes, depending on how cheezy you like your movies, which this is to the max. By the way, TROMA FANS, ATTENTION: The guy playing the main hero in this is Rick Gianasi of "Sgt. Kabukiman, N.Y.P.D." infamy.

Presented by Tim Kincaid, a pornographer and director of the anticlassic ROBOT HOLOCAUST, so be ready for sub-zero quality garbage without any production values. In this story, a number of cyborgs have been introduced to some sort of narcotic which turns them into unstoppable machines of destruction. To the rescue comes Ryker(a name too obviously selected from the nomenclature of action heroes and gay porn actors). His daring mission is to hunt these dope-tripping 'borgs down before they wreck every cheap Styrofoam and cardboard prop in their path.

This flick borrows heavily from BLADERUNNER, but don't even attempt quality comparisons...this is easily among the weakest sci-fi efforts of the 1980s(even though ROBOT HOLOCAUST is, in fact, worse, improvements made in this mess are as observable as a contact lens in the ocean).

Cosmically bad in every direction, therefore recommended to masochistic types. 3/10

What in the name of God did I just witness? For anyone who is wondering if they should watch this movie (all 2 of you), leave it on the shelf unless you are planning on becoming a makeup artist. Let me explain. The story goes like this: Some evil woman is in this battle with some evil guy. Why? I don't know. This battle involves mutants/cyborgs. Why? I don't know. A foursome of heroes meet up with each other in hopes to disband the evil mutant army. Why? I don't know. They fight the mutants who seems to keep coming back to life and murdering civilians. Why? I don't know!!!

So here's the scoop: Either I'm an idiot who just didn't pay attention to this movie or this movie has absolutely no plot. This film is nothing more than a string of events strung together with cheesy music that sounds like something out of a homemade porno film and sound effects so bad, that they sound as if they were generated by someone slapping their hand against their knee and breaking some eggs on the kitchen floor.

The only saving grace of this film is the gore and makeup. This horrible picture really shows what the 80's horror genre was capable of when it comes to the blood factor. Some great stuff in here that still leaves me in shock of how it was pulled off, especially the mutant that helps the good guy; some great scenes with him. But otherwise, why bother with this crappy flick? The movie itself gets a 0 out of 10, but because of the gore and good f/x I'm giving it an overall 2/10.

The film was created on next to no budget by an infamous director/writer/producer of adult pornography. Watching the fashion and mustaches on the male cast that last thing might not be that much of a surprise but what surprises me the most is the ego of the production team. If you have no money and hardly any skills in filmmaking then you might get away with creating a sleazy slasher at most. This film takes it inspiration from epic films like Bladerunner but fails fails in nearly every department, fails HARD. Awful settings, uninspired wardrobes (except for Domina's), no logical plot, weird fight scenes, laughable "inventions" and utterly useless cyborgs that look like failed EBM musicians and act like stiff zombies.

Bladerunner had its following of low-budget cyberpunk copycats and a lot of them actually succeeded with delivering a somewhat engaging story (Robotrix for instance) so this film can't really get away with it just because of finances. If I were to cut it some slacks then it has to be the effect and gore. I am especially thinking about the decaying cyborgs that are skillfully done with both stop-motion and makeup.