Lunch Meat

Obscure, and largely forgotten; 'Lunch Meat' is a rancid piece of late 80's ultra-cheap, but deranged slush involving what could be longest chase scene I've ever witnessed in this survival rural cannibalistic hillbilly shocker. Where it lacks creativity (think of 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre' and 'Slaughterhouse'), it marginally makes up for its enthusiasm and grit. Still despite the same-old get-up (a bunch of young adults planning a camp out are ambushed by a family of rednecks and picked off virtually one by one in the woods), it's a little unexpected in who cops it first. Disappointing though (maybe because of the budget), was that the majority of the violence (cruelly painted) is out of view. You see it (lets focus on the hacking!), but you actually don't see it. Even with its scummy and unpleasant air, it really does lack the brutal edge. There's no real structure abound, as some moments are messy, or both padded and definitely repetitive. Half of the film is spent on the stalk and chase scenario, but gladly it moves by fast enough and the atmosphere grows to the sensation of there being no easy way out. By the way, it closes on an eerily hazy note, if rather a familiar one. You'll know. The comedic elements felt more so purposely thought-out, but that's not discarding some unintentional inclusions also. The make-up FX is crude, but it wasn't that much of a shortcoming as it added to the ghastly schlock effects. Kirk Alex's direction is sloppy, but holds your attention and the score twitches along, but feels right at home. The acting is amateurish with characters that are disposable, but I never found them to be overbearing. Kim McKay (who soon after spinning out a couple more cheap horror flicks, became better known for her involvement in the adult film industry under the name Ashlyn Gere) pints some further interest as one of victims. Elroy Wiese is good lively fun as the dominating father of these crazy backwoods dwellers. Entertainingly shonky low-grade straight-to-video trash.

One of my all-time favorite hobbies is collecting VHS tapes. Sure, it's not as fun now that all the major rental stores have either been shut down or don't carry the format anymore, but it's still fun to browse online. On that note, any self-respecting VHS collector knows one of the rarest finds is a big box VHS of 1987's LUNCH MEAT.

A group of fun-loving teenagers decide to head up to a cabin in the woods for the weekend. However, the gang encounters a backwoods, cannibal family looking to chop them up and sell their meat to the local hamburger joint. Will anyone survive?

Indeed, will anyone survive the grating experience that is the unbelievably inept LUNCH MEAT? I know I did, but just barely. Honestly, this is one of the only films I've come across that nearly fails on all levels, both in actual quality and genuine entertainment. However, a few bits of cheesy goodness put it one or two levels above the bottom of the barrel.

The people who made this obviously had no idea what they were doing, which is blatantly obvious because of how poorly executed everything in this movie is. The acting is horrible and these people are clearly friends and family of the director (it does have Ashlyn Gere, who starred in one of my favorite cheesy slashers, 1986's EVIL LAUGH). Also, I have to throw in that one character sounded a lot like Roger from the show American DAD.

The biggest problem I have with LUNCH MEAT is the chase. Here's the case: first, we get thirty minutes of hilarious character development (hilarious for the wrong reasons, of course). Then we get a forty minute long chase scene that's just that: people running around. Nothing happens except PEOPLE. RUNNING. AWAY. It has to be one of the most excruciating things I've had to sit through in a while.

The film does have the occasional fun and/or funny moment, but they are few and far between. For the burger stand, they just put a white sign reading "So-and-So's Burgers" on the side of a run-down building in downtown Detroit (or some other place). Some of the character interactions are amusing as well. Once the final couple begins to fight back, the pace picks up considerably, but it resorts back to mediocrity after a while.

Overall, I don't want to say LUNCH MEAT is worth watching, but I don't want to advise anyone to avoid it at all costs. It has its fun moments, but the painful-to-watch middle section is enough to scare anyone away. Also, for a film to sell itself as a really gruesome movie filled with carnage, there isn't a whole lot of bloodshed. In fact, I might even say I enjoyed CANNIBAL CAMPOUT more than this. It's that bad.

My advice: If you stumble upon it by chance, watch it once just to say you did. Then throw it in the trash.

A group of young teenagers run into a group of murderous redneck cannibals.Soon the woods are filled with screams of dying...Cheesy and lovingly cheap survival/hicksploitation flick with decent acting and insane mood.It owes a lot to Tobe Hooper's legendary "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre". Director Kirk Alex holds the tension well with little flares like frantic POV shots.The gore is kept to minimum,but the brutality is quite strong for example there is a decapitation,throat munching and machete through the stomach.The hillbillies are suitably menacing as they stalk their human prey.If you are a fan of "Trapped" or "Hunter's Blood" give this low-budget oddity a look.7 cannibalistic rednecks out of 10.

A truly lame film. The box depicts a freaky looking redneck covered in blood eating a severed arm, the scene does not appear in the movie!!! Most of the movie contained scenes of a bunch of redneck retards chasing people through the woods, with little gore. A total waste of time!

My review was written in January 1989 after watching the feature on Tapeworm video cassette.

This 1986 film with a not-so-catchy title is aimed at the lower end of the gore market and offers little of interest to traditional horror fans.

Aping, with little skill, Tobe Hooper's "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre", film concerns a clan of backwoods California dunderheads who prey on passersby, eating their flesh and selling leftovers to suppliers in town to be made into luncheon meat.

Kim McKamy (who deserves better than her recent string of roles in cheapies like this one) and her pals are on a weekend vacation when they're spotted by the geeks and attacked. Poorly paced film has this occurring early on, with anticlimax final reels of attempted escape and gruesome confrontations.

In-fighting dialog among the young heroes and heroines en route to their date with the meat cleaver is relentlessly boring. Gore content is nauseating for the uninitiated but pointless and unimaginative for the young gorehounds out there in video land. Corny payoff has the backward Benny taking revenge on his sadistic daddy (i.e., "Paw") after set-up scenes of the old man whipping him mercilessly.

Technical credits are extremely crude, especially in the editing of unmatched footage.