La casetta degli orrori

Doom Asylum (1987) is a classic slasher gem currently available on Tubi for free. The story involves a lawyer who was wrongfully pronounced dead after a horrible car accident who now resides in an abandoned asylum in Essex, New Jersey. He makes the asylum his killing grounds. When some high school kids and a rock band visits, a killing spree of epic proportions begin. This movie is directed by Richard Friedman (Halfway to Hell) and stars 1988 Penthouse Pet of the year Patty Mullen (Frankenhooker), Ruth Collins (Galactic Gigolo), Kristin Davis (Sex in the City) and William Hay. This movie doesn't take itself seriously at all but does contain some great kill scenes (the cutting off of the toes scene is excellent) and contains some cheesy one-liners by the killer. I strongly recommend this movie to horror and slasher movie fans. I'd score this a solid 5.5-6/10. PS - I looked up this asylum hoping to go take some photos from scenes from this movie but it has unfortunately been demolished.

Doom Asylum is divisive as it's a late in the day 80's slasher with sardonic, post-punk pre-grunge 'edge', low-fi aesthetic and is presented in distracting aspect ratio(s). What a Doom Asylum defendant's biggest hurdle to jump is the film's attempts at 'comedy'. Troma is obviously an influence here and i can dig that, but it is inconsistent and the film feels as if it's trying to deny to the audience it's own self awareness. A similar discrepancy found in those obnoxious faux-grindhouse films of the late 2000's. This awkward smarter than thou attitude came to define the horror genre from Nightmare on Elm Street onward until Saw and it is one that keeps me steered well clear of 90's horror even to this day, with examples such as Hellgate (1990) being a supremely irritating piece of nonsense to sit through.

I don't know whether it's because of it's release in a much misunderstood time period for cinema, the late 80's, the fact that is was shot in an actual asylum that treated STD's or that enough tropes of the slasher film remain in tact, but Doom Asylum has 'it'. It remains authentic and sincere despite the comedy. In fact, due to the inept delivery, it has it due to the comedy. It's a weighty time capsule that tells you so much about the period it was made in, it feels at times like a stream of consciousness taken straight out of the head of a horror fan from the time. A Fangoria subscribed, bougie crass video store geek who thinks he should know better but doesn't, but he just doesn't know in the first place.

Now before i go on about how post-modernism will lead to a satanist overlord uprising, i'll conclude by saying Doom Asylum IS a wildly entertaining independent horror film from a time when the industry had more money and enthusiastic contributors than it does now. It's a manic depressive, head on car crash combination of knowing parody and cynical exploitation and if you like your horror Gothic, esoteric and opaque like i do, then look no further.

DOOM ASYLUM is one of those movies that looks and feels like it was made up while being filmed. It's as if those responsible were out driving, saw the crumbling "asylum", and said "Hey! I know, let's make a movie!". So, we get the spooky location, littered with annoying characters, stalked and slaughtered by a disfigured killer. Said killer's face resembles a pan of baked ziti.

The bare bones script just manages to keep things together, making it semi-endurable. It does have a wacky sort of mindless charm, and gorehounds will slobber over the "drill-to-the-forehead" and "saw-to-the-face" sequences. Kristin Davis and Patty Mullen definitely add to the enjoyment! Recommended for those who require very little story...

DOOM ASYLUM is a pretty nifty little B movie relic from the home video era that succeeds by refusing to take itself seriously for even one minute. A gaggle of college aged nitwits decides to spend a relaxing day sunbathing and hanging out in & around an abandoned, run down insane asylum that is the home of a deformed, deranged serial killer. Meanwhile and all-girl new wave punk band has set up their gear & is rehearsing in one of the operating theaters (insane asylums have operating theaters?), with a Punks Vs. Nerds confrontation looming as the kids wander around inside of the shabby, spray paint festooned interiors of the asylum. One by one they are abducted by the maniac -- dressed in doctor's garb and prone to use medical tools as his torture weapons -- and hacked up until only the blond in the red bikini is left as sort of a male gaze oriented Jamie Lee.

That should be enough information to intrigue horror fans to take a look, and even the most jaded amongst you will be delighted by some of the gore & splatter effects, dabs of welcomed nudity and Kristin Davis reclining on the asylum lawn in a figure defining one piece swimsuit. She has quite the bod. The film earns some points by having the two "nice girls" spending the entire movie skittering about in their bathing suits, with plenty of time for ogling their delightful forms.

Some of the 1980s anachronisms might annoy contemporary viewers, such as the smack talking black knucklehead character dressed in fluorescent colors who is the inevitable first victim of the deranged killer. The maniac also spends a lot of time sitting around watching old Todd Slaughter movies, and sadly the film incorporates far to many clips of the old B&W films as a way to sort of suggest some form of contextual meaning. After a while it becomes annoying though, and the meaning of why the clips are used is never made manifest by the script. They are just kind of there because the editor apparently thought it would be a cool device.

The only thing about the film that I genuinely found to be annoying though was it's tone. Let's face it, horror movies are absurd & silly to begin with, and this one slips up a couple times with smarminess beyond what was really needed, threatening to turn what could have been a taut little exercise in Asylum Horror exploitation crossed with a Freddy Kreuger serial killer into a self-aware parody. If it wasn't for the relatively high body count, amusing gore attempts and nonstop T&A of the lead girls showing off their bodies this might have gotten a thumbs down. The best aspect of the movie really is this big, creepy, run down asylum, which never looks like a movie set so much as an actual place -- which turns out to be the case, and might have served as the inspiration for 1989s THE DEAD PIT by Brett Leonard, which would make an effective double bill with this one, or maybe DR. GIGGLES with Larry Drake.

The bottom line is that movies like this require the presence of an interactive, unruly loud audience to be enjoyed as they were intended: Watch it with your friends and make sure to have plenty of beer. It's very much a party movie and recommended for some night when you just want to get drunk with the crew, dig some gore and check out the babes. By keeping it's sights focused squarely on the gutter this movie maintains it's fun factor right up to the ending ... even if it isn't very good.

4/10: Grab me a fresh one too while you're at the fridge, there's a good Hoss.

What a smoker. Actually this movie was pretty funny. The acting and make up job was so bad that you couldn't help but slap your knee and giggle like a third grader. This isn't a film that will scare you, or win an Oscar for that matter, but it's totally Friday night entertainment.