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In San Francisco, California, ex-convict Bernice "Bernie" Rhodenbarr (Whoopi Goldberg) now runs a used bookstore on Hight Street, but still makes the occasional burglary on the side because crooked cop Ray Kirschman (G. W. Bailey) is blackmailing her . She is coerced by the retired policeman who blackmails Bernice into paying him $20,000 - thus burgling . Paid to get a dentist's (Lesly Anne Warren) jewelry back from her ex's apartment, someone murders the ex and Bernice is the prime suspect. Then she investigates but things go wrong.

A second rate comedy about a second story woman. A simple and plain thriller/comedy about a cat burglar moves to right side of the law when she attempts to solve a murder case. Based on the novel "The burglar in the closet" written by Lawrence Block and weak storyline by producer Jeph Loeb and director Hugh Wilson himself . Whoopi's always a treat , but this movie's best forgotten , Goldberg's fans should watch "Jumpin' Jack Flash" again instead . Co-star Bobcat Goldthwait elevates the comedic level , though he repeats a similar role from Police Academy II . Nice performances from a fun cast , resulting to a be a particularly energetic but mediocre effort from Goldberg held back by a silly and predictable script. Whoopi is well accompanied by a good support cast with plenty of familar faces , such as : W. G. Bailey , Lesley Ann Warren, James Handy, Anne De Salvo , John Goodman , Nathan Davies , Elizabeth Ruscio , among others.

It displays an anti-climatic and misadjusted musical score by composer Sylvester Levay , in the Eighties style , and composed by means of synthesizer . As well as atmospheric and functional cinematography by prestigious cameraman William A. Fraker. The motion picture was regularly directed by Hugh Wilson , resulting to be some boring and tiring . Wilson usually gave himself a cameo in the films he directed. He worked in advertising in Atlanta before becoming a writer and associate producer on "The Tony Randall Show" (1976). Wilson was a notorious writer and producer working as cinema as TV , shooting all all kind of genres with penchant for comedy . Being known for "Blast from the Past" (1999), "Radio Cincinnati" (1978) , "Frank's place" , "Rustler's Rhapsody" , "Guarding Tess", "The first wives club" , "Blast from the past" , "Dudley Do-Right" and his big hit : "Police Academy" (1984) . Rating : 4.5/10 . Average , only for Whoopi Goldberg's hardcore enthusiasts.

The IMDb votes for BURGLAR are all over the place. Substantial segments of users graded it 6/10, 5/10, 4/10 and 3/10. A notable percentage also voted 7/10 and 1/10. Such divisions only reinforce what is obvious to anyone who's seen this Whoopi Goldberg vehicle -- it's an extremely uneven effort.

One of BURGLAR's biggest strengths is that it hits the ground running. Whoopi is great in the opening scenes, disguised as a fat-bottomed ol' lady ripping off a small piece of a rich man's riches. This sets the stage nicely for what promises to be a fast-paced blend of comedy, action, and snappy dialog. The film continues at a surprisingly entertaining level as our thieving hero, owing 25 G's to keep the lid on past misdeeds, agrees to snatch back some jewelry for a bitter ex-wife. Only things go terribly wrong when her target is murdered before she can make a clean getaway. Now she's the chief suspect and, just as O.J. once famously pledged, must find the real killer.

Unfortunately, it's at this point, when our expectations are highest, that BURGLAR begins to fall apart. The film grows progressively (and unnecessarily) lewd and at times downright dreary (particularly the out-of-place climax). Though there are a couple of laughs, much of the humor is so painfully unfunny you almost cringe. Performance wise, Whoopi is at the top of her game. But hard ass/cutie pie act -- punching men in the groin one minute and making wisecracks the next --never really works. Spastic comic Bobcat Goldthwait is as zany as ever as her best pal, but no one seemed to realize that his is an act meant to be taken in much smaller doses than this.

BURGLAR would have worked much better as a straight action thriller. Its insistence on trying to be humorous is what hurts it the most. Of course under no circumstances would this be a classic. But at the end of it all, you get the sense BURGLAR could have been more than it was.

Bernice Rhodenbarr is a cat burglar and used book shop owner. When an ex-cop comes to her with a threat to hand in evidence that he withheld years ago that would incriminate her, she is forced to do a job for him. She agrees to steal a woman's jewellery back from her ex-husband after a messy split. She carries out the crime but is interrupted and has to hide. When she comes out of hiding she finds the man dead and her bag of jewels gone. In order to clear herself she must find out who would want the man dead before the cops can get to her.

There was a time in Whoopi Goldberg's career where they constantly tired to use her smart mouth and streetwise appearance to make her into a female Eddie Murphy. This film appears to be another attempt to use her streetwise wit to good effect. The plot is some form of murder mystery with Bernie being framed and hunted by the police while she tries to catch the real killer. It's nothing we haven't seen before but it's just not very well done here. I struggled to care about the people that Bernie was chasing because I didn't know who they were – partly because the film didn't really explain as most of them are red herrings in preparation for the `twist' at the end.

In terms of tension the film is lacking and as a result I never really got into it. On top of this it's main selling point, the smart comedy, is seriously missing. There was one maybe two good lines in it and none of those was delivered by Whoopi. In fact you could be mistaken for thinking this film wasn't a comedy as there are so very few laughs in it. The whole thing feels very dated – I imagine that even when it was released in the cinema people must have looked at it and gone `whoa, that's soooo eighties'!

Whoopi is poorly used and is sold short by a very ordinary script, but she does have a good support cast to help her out. Sadly they are all sold short as well. Goldthwait is the only one who is allowed to do anything amusing, Goodman, Warren, Bailey, and Handy are all pretty much window dressing so badly are they used.

Overall this film is one from a series of films aiming for the same effect (see Fatal Beauty, Jumpin Jack Flash etc) but here the film totally fails to make good on any of it's assets. The plot is boring and overly convoluted given that we all know it'll turn out to be the least likely main character in the film, and the comedy (usually OK in even average Whoopi films like this) is AWOL. A pretty horrid way to waste 90 minutes – unrelentingly dull.

I love the Bernie Rhondenbarr books (written by Lawrence Block) and was thrilled to learn on his website that a movie version had been made of "Burglar in the Closet" that I'd never seen (give me a break - I was like 3 years old when it came out). Then, I read that Bernie was played by Whoopi Goldberg. Nothing against Whoopi, but that's horrifying. Bernie works so well in the books because he is this strange little Jewish man, not because he is a loud, obnoxious black woman. Doesn't fit. I saw the movie anyway, and was hugely disappointed. Maybe if I was unfamiliar with the books, I could have enjoyed it more, but instead I came away feeling upset with the butchery of a character I adore. I have heard, however, that Block has considered turning "Burglars Can't be Choosers" into a film starring George Clooney. I hope it will fare better.

Burglar is one of the movies on my top 50 funniest movie list. Unlike other reviews here, I rate it higher than Jumping Jack Flash. Perhaps its because this is a great movie for Bobcat's normally irritating character. Strange that there are no quotes for this movie! She and Bobcat have some truly great (although obscene) lines. Whoopie's scene in the closet while the soon-to-be-murdered character was screwing his ex-wife is hilarious. Bobcat has great scenes in the bar delivering a package, and later being interrogated John Goodman in the police station. The actors are all 2-dimensional but that only feeds the comedic aspects of the interaction of the stereotypes. The police-proofed apartment that Whoopie owns is a scream.