Blood Harvest

Basically there are only two reasons to see "Blood Harvest" First, the falsetto wonder that was "Tiny Tim", playing "Marvelous Mervo", a drooling, slack jawed, giggling clown. Second, Itonia Salachek playing a naked girl throughout the film. Forget plot and acting skills, live with the fact that this is not the viscera-stained, sex, sleaze, and horror epic it is claimed to be. What "Blood Harvest" is, is a curiosity, much like a crowd would be drawn to a carnival sideshow, you sort of have to keep watching for the next "Mervo" appearance, or excuse for Itonia to lose her clothes. Certainly watchable, but just barely. - MERK

Got High On Life, and sat and watched the movie with Gene, we're cool now.

Plus it's got that one guy, dressed as a clown, and Bush, not sixteen stone either, the real deal.

I feel like Gene was just watching me the whole time, which was kinda creepy, at first I kinda missed the aerobics show with Denise Richards and Paul Walker (RIP!), but, this was pretty good. I'd say if your into weird stuff from the 80s, give it a shot. It might be as good as Killer Clowns From Outer Space, but then maybe not. I dunno, neither are as good as Over The Top, but, who could ever beat that?? Maybe like, the Bodyguard, or like, that really bad biker movie with Brian Bosworth, that I still watch every now and again cause it's a guilty pleasure.

Extremely odd flick about a young woman (Itonia Salochek) who returns from college to discover that her parents are missing. Her neighbors are none other than preppy Dean West and his brother played by that lovable minstrel Tiny Tim, who may or may not know what has happened. Meanwhile, a masked killer slaughters whoever comes near the woman and just who it is becomes more and more obvious to the viewer past the first thirty minutes. Despite being notorious for Tiny Tim's one and only starring feature, this film is comprised mostly of hopeless time filler. Tiny Tim is fairly decent, however, as the creepy clown-faced weirdo who skulks around the farm. In fact it's his antics, Salochek's abundant nude scenes, and relatively realistic special effects which save this less than thrilling time waster. The only really effective scene is the opening sequence; featuring Tiny Tim squawking a tune in the dark. That's guaranteed to make your skin crawl in any film.

I just watched this fave old horror movie of mine, Blood Harvest, in its DVD incarnation.

Do NOT buy this DVD, unless you can't get this movie elsewhere.

(And, yes, tho IMDB doesn't show it, Amazon is offering a DVD version of Blood Harvest for around $13 as of today, 9-20-03.)

This is edited in AT LEAST two key scenes. First of all, in the famous shower scene, Jill gets forced out of the shower when a "mysterious stranger" turns off the cold water. In my recorded-from-cable VHS version, an additional short scene shows Jill not only jump out, but grab a towel and flash a brief, but lovely, full frontal - and if you're familiar with the movie, you know the character Jill is especially gorgeous.

That's gone from the DVD. It shows the brief, unrevealing dash from the shower, then cut to Jill wearing a robe in the kitchen.

The scene of her friend hung upside down in the barn, stripped to lingerie, then her throat slit: on the DVD version, the portion where the girl's throat is slit, followed by a brief-but-gory squirting blood shot, is gone entirely from the DVD. Only a brief flash of the dead girl is shone.

There's more missing, but I haven't noted everything because of my extreme disappointment, and because I was too ticked not to get this review out and stop some poor soul from buying it.

Worse, the picture quality varies tremendously from the beginning (almost looks 3rd generation videotape), to almost passable high video tape quality. Nothing APPROACHING typical DVD quality, even for old films transferred.

In the credits, it mentions "International Director's Cut", or some such. What baloney. The film looks like religious censors when after it with hedge trimmers.

You've been warned.

Wait 'til late night cable shows it again, and record it on a good new tape or DVD.

This is a ripoff pressing, and I'm one of the suckers. Luckily, it was low price. But I'll continue watching my uncut, nearly as good picture (and warmer colors) VHS tape of 13 years.

This review DEFINITELY refers to the DVD version.

'60s ukulele-playing pop-star Tiny Tim's contributions to horror: that disturbing 'Tiptoe Through The Tulips' song featured in Insidious (2010) to great effect, and this late '80s slasher, in which the falsetto singer dons clown make-up and garb to play Mervo, a crazy weirdo who may or may not be a psycho killer.

The film begins with beauty Jill (Itonia Salchek) returning to her hometown to visit her parents, who have been harangued by the locals on account of her father working at the bank that is overseeing the foreclosure of several farmsteads. When she gets home, Jill's parents are nowhere to be found and the walls are daubed with threatening graffiti; the local sheriff does little to investigate. Old childhood friend Gary (Dean West) tries to calm Jill's nerves, but she feels increasingly uneasy, especially with Gary's oddball brother Mervo hanging around and snooping on her. To make matters worse, other people in Jill's life start to disappear, including her boyfriend Scott (Peter Krause) and best friend Sarah. Is Mervo responsible?

Wisconsin-based horror auteur Bill Rebane fails to keep up the brisk pace necessary for such nonsense, and some stretches are duller than watching wheat grow, but he knows well enough to include plenty of nudity courtesy of sexy Salchek, and some decent gore to keep viewers watching, the blood-letting including some convincing throat slashings (the effects far better than I expected). Rebane also makes the most of Tiny Tim, who proves effectively unsettling throughout, singing a few creepy ditties and generally acting convincingly deranged.

It's far from a top-tier '80s slasher (but then few late'-80s slashers are), but there's just about enough fun to be had to make it of interest to fans of the genre. 5/10.