Terror at Tenkiller

I watched Terror at Tenkiller yesterday and made it through the whole flick. I had seen it before years ago, but couldn't remember a thing about it. Needless to say, it's pretty forgettable. The main female character is a bit on the plump side, and she quickly shows off her assets by taking a shower after a swim (Too bad the lighting is pretty dismal and she's the kinda girl that wears panties under her swimsuit) Needless to say the shot of her getting out of the pool confirms that this chick has got some junk in the trunk. A rare occurrence in most movies who's producers seem to be convinced all men enjoy looking at anorexic women with boob-jobs. At this point I still had high hopes.

Once again the have an example of characters that are supposed to be in school, and still under their parents wing, but look to be pushing or over 30. The leads girlfriend in the flick looks about 31 (although I must admit she keeps in shape as she spends ample time in a bikini) Anywho, the acting is pretty stiff, but not terrible (Except for maybe Thor), that's the best I can say about the rest of the movie.

The quality of the picture is pretty dismal throughout, with the ending being almost unwatchable because it was filmed outside in the dark, the few effects are for the most part non-effective (except one involving poor ol Preacher). The story itself make no sense, and the scares are literally non-existent in spite of several attempt to try and produce a jolt. Attempts at suspense fall flat. There is big hair though and to further confirm the fact this flick was made in the 80's, has a soundtrack that was almost surely made entirely on one of those big ass sampler keyboards you used to play around with that were on display when you first walked into Sears circa 1984.

There's no mystery or suspense in this film at all, the characters are utterly vapid, and Ye Gods! but the music has to be the worst I have EVER heard in a film. The guy who is somehow supposed to come off as an attractive psycho is ugly as sin...It's hard to believe this movie was ever even released in VHS. It seems as though it may have been scriptless. I highly suggest watching the Rifftrax version of this, if you want to see it at all - it's the only way it will be tolerable. Very, very cheesy ending, too. (Note: The above reviewer who calls the female lead 'plump' must be hallucinating - she is just another anorexic looking 80's chick!)

Rifftrax Review: 9 out of 10: Bad, slow films where nothing happens have stumped the boys before. (The Beast of Yucca Flats, Robot Monster) but they really bring their A-game here. The riffing is on point and upbeat. They really seem to be enjoying themselves. They perform a miracle and make Terror at Tenkiller actually watchable.

Terror at Tenkiller: 1 out of 10: A woman on the run from her controlling boyfriend hides out in a cabin with a friend. But local girls are disappearing and they could be next.

The Good: Well it made for a surprisingly well done Rifftrax track. Also, it gave an acting start to Michael Shamus Wiles who went on to become a solid working actor (He, like everyone else, is awful in this film.)

The Bad: Good lord where to start. Do you like to watch woman talk on the phone? Do like endless discussions about nothing? How about panning shots of an unremarkable lake? Scenes that go on a least a minute after they were supposed to?

There is no mystery to who the killer is. The killer is one of the five characters in the movie. He has no motivation, no one-liners, no hockey mask or hook arm. Just a bro with a few screws loose. There is also no terror, suspense, or horror to be found. Well except for the realization that there are forty minutes to go and the characters are taking yet another nap.

The Ugly: Why do we watch slasher films? Is it to see two women discuss their relationship problems in front of wood paneling? Or is it for the ye olde sex and violence. Well, I hope you're a fan of the former. The only nudity is an accidental flash from lead Stacy Logan clearly caused by the full-screen transfer and the violence is both bloodless and incompetent.

In Conclusion: I thought The Final Terror was the nadir of eighties slasher films but Terror at Tenkiller is in a whole other category. It is like one of those seventies search for Bigfoot films where they spend seventy minutes in a swamp and never actually find Bigfoot.

This has to be one of the most boring slashers I have ever seen. Nothing happens... and when it does it's so slow and totally without enthusiasm, from the makers side. We have seen the story a 100 times, the acting is so bad it's not even funny, there's hardly any effects and the kills are uninspired. Even Oasis of the Zombies is more "fun" to watch than this one... and THAT says a LOT about Terror at Tenkiller! Then there's that music... it's so flat and (surprise, surprise) boring. It takes the suspense out of any situation. Not good...

I would not recommend this flick to my worst enemy. Watch paint dry instead... that's a kick in the head, compared to this c***!

I don't know the first thing to say about Terror at Tenkiller. Despite it being one of the most placid and mundane slasher films I've ever seen, I weirdly wasn't ever bored. That has to count for something, right?

Tenkiller focuses on two college students (though one looks about old enough to have college aged children herself) who head out to secluded lakehouse to escape from one of their abusive boyfriends. They talk, take in some of the local color, and attract the attention of another angry man, except this one is much more dangerous.

Unlike a lot of slashers, there's no mystery or whodunit aspect here. The only mystery is trying to decided what's going on in most of the night scenes (my DVD appears to be sourced from the world's oldest VHS tape).

There's a slight attempt at character development with the two leads, but they never rise above dim-witted bimbo who can't leave an abusive man and sassy, no nonsense best friend cliches.

If you're expecting tons of nudity or gore, you'll be disappointed, too, since Tenkiller didn't seem very interested in supplying any which leaves the film in a weird place - not thoughtful/suspenseful/scary/character driven enough for serious horror fans and not enough blood or nudity for the gore and skin fans. Who was this even made for?