Non aprite quell'armadio

Watching Monster In A Closet I'd say the film hit about 60% of the time with gags it employed in this film. But I warn you had better have seen a lot of classic science fiction about monsters coming to earth or being discovered here already or you won't get half of what is shown.

I think about half the budget must have been spent on getting some name guest stars to do their thing and support the two less than charismatic leads Donald Grant and Denise Dubarry. But when you get folks like Claude Akins as the redneck sheriff, Henry Gibson as an eccentric scientist, Stella Stevens as a woman in a shower, Jesse White as a hardboiled newspaper editor, Howard Duff as a rather vacuous priest, and John Carradine who is one of the first victims this becomes an item to take a look at.

I really liked what Howard Duff did with the priest. He must have watched Alec Guinness did with his vicar character in Kind Hearts And Coronets.

You even get to see young Paul Walker make his screen debut as a genius kid everyone calls the Professor.

You'll recognize so many moments from some classic monster films, I dare not tell you.

My review was written in May 1986 after a Cannes Film Festival Market screening.

"Monster in the Closet" is a pleasant, occasionally funny combination of homage and spoof directed at the science fiction monster films popular in the 1950s. It will be appreciated by fans of old B-pictures but is out of step with the tastes of contemporary audiences.

Writer-director Bob Dahlin carefully apes the rigid format of the traditional monster opus (with corny dialog intact): an unknown creatures is killing Californians living in the small town of Chestnut Hills in their closets an San Francisco obituary writer Richard Clark (Donald Grant) is sent by his editor to cover the story. He soon teams up with science prof Diane Bennett (Denise DuBarry) and her brilliant child nicknamed Professor (Paul Walker) to follow the clues.

Monster eventually shows up, looking like a brown-skinned, huge-mouthed imitation of Carlo Rambaldi's oft-copied "Alien" creation, and the military, led by no-nonsense Gen. Turnbulll (Donald Moffat) steps in to handle the situation. It turns out the monster is impervious to conventional weaponry, leaving the star trio to invent methods of destroying it. In several funny twists, the monster's unexplained affinity for closets turns out to be a key script element.

Despite some dull patches in which parody becomes merely repetition of cliches, "Monster" is cute with lots of guest stars. Stella Stevens does a fine version of Janet Leigh's "Psycho" shower sequence, getting solid laughs opposite Paul Dooley as her husband. As a goofy old scientist, Henry Gibson has his moments, too. Moffat is perfect as the tough-talking general.

Lead players are fine, particularly Donald Grant, who, in film's well set-up and funniest payoff, turns out to be the object of the monster's affections (once his Clark Kent glasses are taken off) rather than the heroine.

Overproduced in relation to the targets of its parody, "Monster" is well-made (it was shot in 1983 and had post-production completed more recently). End crawl is unintentionally funny as what seems like a thousand people are individually credited or thanked for working on the picture. Film probably will be best remembered for the inspired silliness of its tagline solution to the monster problems, when the heroined goes on tv to plea: "Destroy al closets!".

Troma aren't exactly well known for high quality horror films, and this one fits the bill pretty well in the quality stakes; but it's actually more childish than the usual gory Troma output. The film is something of a spoof of the monster movie genre and, as the title suggests, focuses on the childhood fear of a monster in the closet. The film kicks off with a few mysterious murders and it's not long before the horrible closet monster is revealed. The monster itself is an extremely camp creation and is sure to leave most audience members in stitches - not usually the desired effect for a monster but the film is obviously intended to be tongue in cheek and the monster is actually a very original creation. I really wasn't expecting anything at all decent from this film, but in fairness to it; it's actually quite decent. There's nothing particularly clever about it; though the idea of the monster 'recharging' in closets is nice in that it seems to be a ham-fisted way of explaining the whole closet monster idea. The characters and plot line surrounding the monster are interesting and entertaining and Monster in the Closet is at least a decent way to waste ninety minutes or so.

MONSTER IN THE CLOSET is a wonderful monster / sci-fi movie parody. The humor is well-placed, the monster is well-realized, and the characters are just nutty enough to not be annoying. Some of the satirical genre references are hilarious, especially those concerning CLOSE ENCOUNTERS OF THE THIRD KIND and THE THING.

Two personal favorite scenes are: John Carradine as the old blind guy, and Stella Stevens in the shower. Hysterical!

Highly recommended for all horror spoof addicts...

This was sort of a cute movie, nothing too great.

It starts off with a pre-credits sequence of people getting dragged into their closets, or walking into their closets, only to be attacked by something. We don't see the attack, since the camera takes a side view of the open closet door, and we hear screaming and cartoonish monster eating noises, as clothing is tossed out of the closet. John Carradine has a small role as one of these people, and blind man violently smashing his cane around his apartment looking for his guide dog (who the monster hung on the closet door).

We then meet a reporter who looks a lot like Superman's alter-ego Clark Kent, complete with big black-rimmed Clark Kent eyeglasses. He's named Richard Clark. He got his job at the paper through nepotism, and only does obituaries, but her wants something more. The lead reporter "Scoop" gives him a three-week old story about the people dying in their closets as a laugh.

Clark befriends a young boy at the police station while waiting to talk to the chief there. The boy is a bespectacled small version of himself, perhaps. He's doing some kind of experiment recording all different kinds of sounds, while his mother - a teacher at the local college, where some of the deaths occurred - talks to the chief, explaining how the bite marks found on the victims are somewhat consistent with snake bites. Clark angers the bespectacled mother by having let the boy have a chocolate bar. Everyone, including the mother, calls the boy "The Professor."

Clark also meets an Albert Einstein-looking Nobel Priza-winning professor at the college, and gives him a claw he found at one of the crime scenes. We also see that the mother becomes speechlessly, motionlessly smitten with Clark every time he takes his glasses off.

They soon see the monster, who starts coming out of closets. There are elements of "Alien" and "Close Encounters of the Third Kind" to the monster and their attempts to communicate with it.

This movie could be appropriate for children, although be forewarned that there is a brief topless scene. A bit surprising for a PG-rated movie, but not altogether without precedent. Baby: Secret of the Lost Legend (1985) had a lot more. The scene it occurs in is one early in the movie, and comically spoofs the shower scene in Hitchcock's Psycho.