King Kong 2

King Kong Lives (1986)

* 1/2 (out of 4)

Sequel to the 1976 remake has Kong in a coma after falling from the World Trade Center. His heart is quickly going back so he needs a mechanical heart installed. Before the doctor (Linda Hamilton) does this, Kong is going to need blood so thankfully there's a redneck hunter (Peter Elliott) who has captured a female Kong. This movie has the reputation of being one of the worst ever made and people must have believed it because they stayed away from the film when it was originally released and it turned into one of the biggest box office disasters in history. This was a favorite of mine when I was a kid but it really hasn't aged too well. The biggest problem with the film is the film itself because it's never quite clear what the movie is trying to do. The story is all over the place, characters are coming in left and right and the entire Army set up just doesn't make too much sense at all. I'm going to take a wild guess and say this movie was meant for romance because we've got Hamilton and Elliott falling for each other and we've got the two Kong's falling in love. There's no doubt this is a very stupid movie but thankfully it's dumb enough to be mildly entertaining. The scenes with the two Kong's falling in love are pretty funny as is a scene later in the movie where redneck hunters trap Kong and try to torture him. The ending is just as wild as anything that follows it and I must admit that I found it pretty cute and touching. The special effects are certainly several notches below the previous film but they aren't too bad. Elliott and Hamilton really don't have too much to do because the screenplay doesn't offer them much but both are fine in their roles. What really kills the film from being a true cult item is the fact that we've got a 75-minute story expanded to 105-minutes, which is way too long.

Yep. It's a terrible movie, but worth watching for the laughs. When King Kong and Lady Kong first meet, they gaze into each other's eyes - and Pow! It's love at first sight! - and the Love Theme from King Kong Lives starts swelling up in the background - it brought tears to my eyes. Because I was laughing so hard I was close to weeping. This movie goes beyond its weird anthropomorphism and bad writing to achieve an unprecedented new level of cheese.

There are other fun moments, like when Kong starts climbing a mountain that is VERY obviously some painted plywood stuck to the side of a stepladder.

If you feel like watching something silly, or if you want to see a giant monkey trying to get to second base, this movie is for you!

Well, the only thing good in this movie is the split-second flash you get of Linda Hamilton's rack. I don't know who the hell the rest of these people were. There was some blond dufus named "Hank". And a lot of really bad special FX. All in all, it's an awful movie.

But just imagine if it had been made today, it'd have super-slick CGI effects for the monkeys and a sound track by Elton John singing about "shining stars" and hairy monkey suits. Joel Schumacher would direct of course. The female lead would be played by Denise Richards except she wouldn't show her boobs. There'd be long shots of Hank's naked ass several times throughout the movie. Wouldn't it be great?

Er, maybe I'll just watch to 80's version again.

D: John Guillermin. Linda Hamilton; Brian Kerwin; Mike Starr.

Silly but ambitious sequel to Dino DeLaurentiis' remake of the 1933 classic monster movie. Of all the wonderful stories that could be told using the most famous movie ape of all time, screenwriter Ronald Shusset (Alien, Dead and Buried) opts for a ludicrous tale about an overly involved scientist/doctor/biologist Hamilton and her emotional quest to save Kong. Future comedy talent Starr is wasted as a bad tempered facility guard while co-star Kerwin shows off his Indiana Jones impression as a `wild boy' adventurer. Only DeLaurentiis could make a good idea this bad. However, for a genuine Kong fan, this may provide some light entertainment – once you look past the terrible Carlo Rambaldi (King Kong, Alien) visual effects and the rambling, overlong script. Director Guillermin's final theatrical effort.

Are you kidding me? This is the sappiest sequel I have ever seen! I thought King Kong has perished from being shot down of The World Trade Center. WRONG! He survived the fall, that left him in a coma for a decade. So what happens next? He gets an artificial heart, and a new mate: Lady Kong. Boy, it doesn't get any better than this. The whole place in Georgia becomes a jungle when these primates get together. Unlike the one made 10 years earlier, this movie goes back to nature in many ways. A zoo that big couldn't hold these two lovebirds. Did I say lovebirds? Hahaha! I did it, again! When the two protectors Hank(Brian Kerwin) and Amy(Linda Hamilton) go to extreme lengths to assure the safety of King and Lady Kong. But there's trouble. The U.S. Army lead by mad Col. Nevitt (John Ashton) will go to full length to neutralize the Kongs. After Hank brings Lady Kong from Borneo, nothing would be the same. When the Army attacked Kong, he turned those tanks and jeeps into broken hunk of junk, and the scene where Kong recovers from his injuries, it was just amazing. Eating the alligators, or better yet, when he ate one of the hunters. But the fun part of the movie I like the most, is when Kong squashed the Col. Like a bug. That one was too silly there. And the really cheesy part of the film is when Kong gets to see his son for the first and last time. This movie didn't do well in the box office, but I think it's great... for a rainy day. Some legends remain to be legends, King Kong could have have more there in this sequel. The problem: IT'S TOO SHORT!