Eliminators

Rated as a movie, this deserves about a 2. Rated by how much fun you will have watching it, it deserves about a 7.

If it took itself seriously it wouldn't be much fun, but fortunately it has a light touch. A man who is half machine, the "mandroid" John Doe, goes on a quest to find and kill the mad scientist who installed the half-machine part. Joining him are a scientist (Denise Crosby), an R2D2 wannabe, an Indiana Jones wannabe, and a ninja! Along the way, there are boat chases, a barroom brawl, inept bad guys, Roman soldiers, and goofy physical comedy. Roy Dotrice makes a fun villain.

If it sounds like it might be fun to you, give it a try.

An abysmally bad buddy-buddy-buddy-buddy movie with Denise Crosby (Tasha Yar on Star Trek: The Next Generation). Laughable scenes: the animation of SPOT, Nora Hunter's robot, and the bar brawl that occurs when riverboat guides battle over who gets to take Denise down the river. (Maybe they're all trekkies?)

The fact that Charles Band produced this film says so, so very much. Especially after watching the trailer, I thought I knew what I was getting into. Once again, however, I simply wasn't prepared. Why does Mandroid have tank treads that are optional, a detail that doesn't meet the standards of internal consistency as it presents? Why does the Mandroid suddenly look like he's 12 years old when his hair is wet? Why does Denise Crosby have longer hair in this movie than in anything else she's ever made? Why is a single shot from the beginning of the film repeated over and over again? Why is the pacing so astonishingly slow from the very, very start - before scenes meaningfully begin, after they've meaningfully ended, and even in the midst of dialogue and action sequences? What is this movie?

While the pacing is confounding right off the bat and continues to be the single greatest problem thereafter, the curiosities in 'Eliminators' continue to mount as the minutes tick by. The scene writing is all over the map: some inclusions seem like arbitrary last-minute additions; some scenes feel like outright diversions; others are played purely for laughs with an ethos of excess exceeding the already indisputable B-movie nature of the feature. More rarely do they specifically add to the plot. The lethargy of action sequences is exemplified in a boat chase that's almost as boring as the one in 'To live and let die,' which also includes a delayed reaction for a major explosion and questionable decision-making from one of the chief supporting characters, and which is reprised minutes later with a conclusion that makes no sense whatsoever. Characters are no better on paper, such as the antagonist whose evil scheme is left a total mystery to audience and heroes alike for the majority of the length, or major supporting character Harry Fontana, who rather seems to be in the entirely wrong movie ('Romancing the stone,' anyone?). Even the score of Bob Summers is completely mystifying, bouncing between moods with such disparity that "dynamic" doesn't seem the right descriptor as much as "scattered." In turn, selections remind of (or outright borrow from) John Barry, James Horner, Gustav Holst, John Carpenter, 'The terminator,' Survivor, and more.

And still we return to the issue of pacing, which applies as well to the plot development. The characters are going somewhere, sure enough, but it's not exactly clear where, or why, and I'm not sure that they even know. The advancement of the narrative seems more horizontal than it is vertical, especially as Paul De Meo and Danny Bilson's screenplay throws together a panoply of ideas that struggle to make sense as the digital timer progresses; each new addition is more bewildering than the last, and that includes the astonishing array of devices built into Mandroid, recalling Inspector Gadget. Somehow 'Eliminators' throws together sci-fi, adventure, martial arts, cybernetics, mysticism, a James Bond-esque mad scientist, and more. On that note, it might be worth pointing out that this was released the same year as 'Big trouble in Little China.'

In fairness, I can't say I didn't have a good time watching. I'm not sure how much of the fun this has to offer is owed to its own merit, versus what results from the sheer bafflement of the viewing experience, but one way or another, 'Eliminators' IS entertaining. And while the writing is flummoxing and Peter Manoogian's direction is slothful, there's still a lot to earnestly appreciate here. The production design and art direction are pretty great; the costume design, and hair and makeup work, sometime belie the meager financial resources of the picture, but they're not bad in and of themselves. While post-production effects are a tad subpar for the mid-80s, any practical effects are swell, and I do earnestly admire the stunts and action scenes, flawed though they may be. While the narrative as it is presents is perplexing, and the movie at large, there actually are neat ideas here. And hey, kudos to the cast, who put in honest effort and were at least enjoying themselves.

I don't entirely know what to make of this. It's entertaining, sure enough, but for what reason is another matter. I don't really know who I would recommend this to except those who are already well enamored of B-grade romps, and even then opinion will doubtlessly vary. From the very beginning to the very, very end it's a wild ride, and sometimes a very puzzling one. If you like all the weird schlock that cinema has to offer, though, 'Eliminators' just might be for you.

OK..... mix in a bit of Frankenstein, some time travel and the potential damage of meddling with the past, a ninja (!) a materialistic, seemingly selfish but actually kind hearted charter boat captain (shades of Han Solo anyone?) and a feisty, pre-Star Trek: TNG Annette Crosby and you have Eliminators – a highly likable yet almost forgotten gem of 1980's Sci-Fi!

The plot is quite obviously far too ambitious in scope for the budgetary constraints and yet somehow it all works so well, not least of all because of the highly likable characters featured in this (Andrew Prine's laid back character is especially fun to watch) There's also an excellent realisation of the 'mobile unit', a mode of transport whereby the Mandroid (bear with me on this) removes his legs (!) and rides around with the unit (a sort of miniature tank) on his lower half (presumably most of the budget was spent on this!)

What can I say? If you're at all a fan of 80's Science Fiction TV and/or movies then like me, you'll probably lap this up, it all makes perfect sense on screen and is highly enjoyable throughout. Great nostalgic fun!

When you're 14 years old, you can't yet comprehend that a movie can be a bad. Seeing the Mandroid rolling around, knowing that a ninja was in this movie, I lost my mind and couldn't wait to see it. But when you're 14, you often are at the mercy of your family's viewing choices (look, it was a different world in 1986. We only had one TV to watch movies on). I would have to wait 31 years to see this film and I can honestly tell you — it is a complete piece of crap.

It's an entertaining piece of crap, though.

Read more at https://bandsaboutmovies.com/2017/07/31/the-eliminators-1986/