Honey Britches

In HONEY BRITCHES, four bickering travelers wind up at a farm, where they encounter a pair of female rustics. Soon, the hillbilly males return, and backwoods insanity commences.

This movie scrapes the bottom of the barrel, crashes through it, only to emerge in a cesspit on the other side of the Earth!

Meant primarily to showcase the cleavage and mountainous hairstyles of the women involved, all else, including plot, dialogue, acting, etc., has been ignored.

There is an obligatory rape scene, followed by a "catfight", and death. The remaining 95% of this "film" is filler. Outhouse filler to be exact. Sitting through it is an agonizing experience, like wearing cactus pants!

Even the finale is awful!...

I am usually a big fan of movies like this one, however I felt that this film failed to deliver on several levels. Firstly, and it might just be my copy, the sound (especially the dialog) was awful. I was sure I could hear a generator running in several places; probably to keep the lights/other equipment going. The characters were horrible. I can't even complain about clichés and stereotypes as these particular characters were far too one dimensional for even those embarrassing labels. It is fun to listen to the "actors" flub their lines and awkwardly phrase even the most dry dialog. Worst of all however, was the complete lack of nudity/gore. There were some tantalizing glimpses that held some promise, but it was disappointing in the end. The one exception is a murder by pitchfork, but it was short and ultimately underwhelming. Best left alone even for fans of the genre. There are so many more worthy pieces out there that deliver the goods. All in all, I found myself bored and reaching for the fast forward button.

There are certain movies you just HAVE TO watch if only for their titles alone. With such a title you automatically tend to think "how bad can it possibly be … right?" Of course, only a few minutes into the film and you can't but realize how awful it is and all of a sudden the title doesn't sound that funny anymore. A few minutes … that's how long it takes in order to be exposed to a world of horrible acting performances by randomly selected yokels, incomprehensible dialog and no plot development whatsoever. During the intro we have John Carradine (him again … the more bad B-movies I discover, the more I encounter his fatigue face) murmuring something about being the devil and thus He who decides whether a person goes to hell or not. Apparently this sequence, and a couple of other ones featuring Carradine, where edited into the film by Fred Olen Ray afterwards! Okay, now I understand how Olen Ray has over 110 movies on his repertoire as a director and Carradine over 340 as an actor! Anyway, after the Judge of Hell's bizarre uttering, we switch towards a remote countryside setting. We have a party of four, people that couldn't possibly look less connected to each other, wandering through the woods and finding shelter in a secluded farm house. Apparently they are fugitive jewel thieves, but these people honestly look way too dumb to commit any sort of theft, let alone jewelery. You would then subsequently expect for the "Demented Death Farm Massacre" to ensue, but no … First there's a lot of arguing about the difference between stealing a jeep and picking up what other people threw away (seriously, who "throws away" a jeep?) and other totally random and nonsensical gibberish. The fattest and ugliest redneck I've ever seen is married to a beautiful young girl with impressive cleavage. It is later explained that her father owed the fat bastard $200 and they settled it with a marriage. That's hillbilly logic for you! Every dialog is drawn out five or six times more than necessary and the "action" sequences are shot in slow-motion. They literally do everything here in order to reach a normal playtime. The absolute most shameless attempt to fill up the running time is an extremely long monologue of a guy talking to God. Seriously, FOUR full minutes of staring at a dumb yokel talking to the sky! There's so much talking in this movie, it's crazy. Either the screenplay contained approximately 7,000 pages or these rednecks were just instructed to improvise whatever the wanted. Naturally, there's also a chase through the woods guided by the obligatory banjo music and incompetent cinematography. In the end, the only "demented" thing about this movie is that there are idiots like myself who watch it. The "Death Farm" is just a shed in somebody's garden and the only farming tool used in the "Massacre" is a pitchfork. Lame.

Moments mostly of bad film-making. It is, to me anyway, clearly not a horror film that got messed with some in the editing to try to make it more horrifying--with little success. Though none of the performances are really much good, some have a regional theater style fascination. You'll hope for real nudity, but your hope with remain only a hope by and large. The failed camp nature of the thing is somehow less painful than in other purely Fred Olen Ray movies, so maybe he didn't have that much to do with this one.

Total crapola post production sound job leads to more laughs and they try real hard to use sounds that don't match the picture, it's like they only have one FX CD just had to make it work for everything--though there is very little in the way of polish on any level. The first, and one of the only, night scenes in the movie is almost entirely out of focus and grainy.

It's sort of going for a 2000 Maniacs feel I suppose only less well made--yes that's what I said.

This film essentially begins with 4 people robbing a jewelry store of approximate $1 million in stolen merchandise and then finding themselves somewhere deep in Appalachia after their car runs out of gas. To that effect, the leader of the group "Phillip" (Jim Peck) recommends that they hide the car and then find an isolated house where they can hole up for a couple of days until things have cooled off sufficiently for them to refuel the car and head back out on the open roads. A reasonable solution. What he doesn't count on, however, is the problems they will eventually face when they select a house owned by the local moonshiner named "Horlon P. Craven" (George Ellis) and his attractive young wife "Reba Sue Craven" (Ashley Brooks). Now, rather than reveal any more, I will just say that this was one of those low-budget comedies that suffered, to a great extent, from bad acting and a very poor overall script. To be sure, both Ashley Brooks and Pepper Thurston (as "Suzanne") definitely improved the overall scenery to a certain degree. No question about that. Unfortunately, it simply wasn't enough to overcome the other obvious faults just mentioned, and I have rated this movie accordingly. Below average.