Too Scared to Scream

Tony Lo Bianco directs this thriller mystery like a conventional television show, only he loads it with bloody violence and lots of nudity. The result isn't really that bad. The first three-fourths, in point of fact, are very engrossing as we tag along with cops Mike Connors and his "buddy" Anne Archer as they try to unravel the identity of a killer killing in the Royal Arms, a swanky hotel in New York City. The deaths seem to be unrelated, and the ways in which each is killed is horrifying. The prime suspect is the evening doorman Ian McShane. McShane gives a fantastic performance as a dour, reserved, yet mentally unstable man who still lives at home caring for his invalid mother(played by Maureen O'Sullivan). Images of Psycho will resonate as you watch, but the film is in no way a reproduction of that classic film. The film, however, starts to fall apart as the mystery is finally revealed and logic takes a holiday. Agatha Christie could not(and probably would not) have dreamed up an ending like this film has. But despite its illogical conclusion, the acting, direction, and script are tight enough through most of the film to be very entertaining.

This early 80's slasheresque movie is pretty bad really, but I kind of liked it for some reason. It involves a number of murders in a swanky high rise building. The killings are investigated by a male and female cop, and the main suspect is the reddest herring imaginable--a doorman and aspiring way off-Broadway actor. There is some blood, a lot of gratuitous nudity, and that sleazy urban ambiance of the early 80's also featured in movies like "Eyes of a Stranger", "Windows", as well as genuinely disturbing flicks like "Maniac" and "Nightmare in a Damaged Brain". It was one of the last of the gritty, downbeat 70's style exploitation flicks before the happy fascism of the Reagan era and before Rudy Guliani turned 42nd Street into Disneyland.

The movie was directed by obscure cult actor Tony LoBianca who appeared in "The Honeymoon Killers" and "God Told Me To". He never directed another movie, and I'm not sure how he ever came to direct this one. The female lead is Anne Archer, who was later in "Fatal Attraction" (and I'd rather watch this movie any day than that overrated and reactionary piece of crap). It's pretty hard to find (I bought a used PAL video in Buenos Aires for about 30 cents I think), but not a COMPLETE waste of time if you stumble across it.

If you are looking for a good horror movie, go away. If you are looking to be scared, again, go away. But if you are looking for a nice way to spend the afternoon with an OK, cliched, but somehow still enjoyable and charming crime story with unusually high amount of nudity, you will like this. It has everything you would expect, from cheesy scenes to genre staple old and experienced detective leading the investigation. I give it 6.5/10! I think it's an OK movie which I could watch again, if I by chance stumble upon it on TV... I recommend it for some casual fun :)

Rating: *** out of five

Too Scared to Scream is actually a better slasher movie from the 1980's than many would expect. Mike Connors (from TV's Mannix) plays a police detective with his partner (Anne Archer, in one of her first major screen roles) who try and solve puzzling murders that are happening at a sky rise apartment building in New York. There are a few suspects including the apartment building's gentle, kind doorman (Ian McShane) who lives with his mute, paralyzed mother (Maureen O'Sullivan, who played Jane in the Tarzan films). Other suspects include a fashion designer (Sully Boyer), and countless persons in and around the building. The film has aged poorly, and the script could have used some more originally and maybe a larger budget since it was not picked up by a major distribution studio, but Tony Lo Bianco's solid direction and fine acting and special effects and suspenseful musical score make this film a tense shocker. Supporting actors include John Heard, Ruth Ford, Leon Issac Kennedy, Carrie Nye and even Murray Hamilton, who we remember as Mayor Vaughn in Jaws. Charles Azonvour sings the film's song "I'll Be There" in the opening sequence.

Great little 80s slacker flick with many nods to Psycho. No cheese so it may get a little dry at times for the standard slasher fanatic, but if you can stand a more serious type of horror, go for it. But make no mistake- this isn't art either.