Starship

This is the third movie I have rented tonight with the word 'Star' in it. However, it isn't 'Star Wars', 'Star Trek', 'The Last STARfighter', or even 'Star Kid.' This movie was made 'down under' and we can expect no less from foreign movies. Like 'Star Crash' before it and 'Star Knight', we have a movie that wants to be so many things we Americans made but simply could not do. And, like everything else, it comes out so dirty it should be condemned in the laundry pile to be burned completely. I'm sorry, folks, this sucked hard.

The back of the box mentioned and stole a few words from the Star Wars common terminology and compared itself to the likes of Blade Runner, which wouldn't make a whole lot of sense. The 'droids' here are simply people with jumpsuits, aluminum guns and creepy Chinese/Buddhist masks - and more often than not, these are midgets. With someone whose name is 'Deep Roy', which is really downright hilarious (especially the name typo - Kid? Grid? Fail.), this is pretty bad. The 'storm troopers' are all poorly designs animatronics which look like something a child did for a science project out of whatever was in a junkyard.

The music goes on to copy, blatantly, the same motifs as Last Starfighter - and blatantly rips most of Luke's battles in Tattooine from the first movie. The villain even looks like Darth Vader! Gah, originality must be pretty hard to find, is it? Jesus Christ on a stick.

None of the movies I have seen so far are recommended. It's a proved fact you'll ignore most of them for private time on the computer or with a loved one rather than pay attention.

This movie is pointless...some of my friends and I had a Crappy sci-fi movie party and this was by far the worst. I looked amazing on the package. But it is possibly the most boring thing I have ever witnessed in my entire life...

It made me Physically Ill having to sit though this after ten hours of other horrid Sci-Fi trash such as Abraxas and Star Crash.

There was huge mining trucks...and weird robots wearing football helmets wielding M-16s that I called OJ Simpson robots. But this was just the most lifeless and horrid drivel in the world.

This is actually, the worst movie I have ever seen...no exageration...by far the worst.

The opening scene - where youthful protesters are seemingly trying to influence the "thinking" (more accurately, the programming) of military androids - set's the mood for this entire film: nothing makes any sense!

Roger Christian hasn't had a lot of hits in his career. Well, actually, he's not had ANY. Be that as it may, this one could be his worst movie ever. The week before I saw "Starship." I watched "Battlefield Earth." It was dreadful, of course. But it had at least two things "Starship" didn't: a plot that made *some* sense and action that didn't put you to sleep.

However, "Starship" DID have unintentional humor every so often, which saves it from being a complete and utter waste of time. For instance, why were the androids programmed to feel pain (reminds me of a parody from "The Simpsons")? Why was this movie called "Starship" when it is primarily terrestrially-based? Why was it necessary to have this movie based on some distant planet? (I didn't see anything different about Ordessa compared to an Earth of the future.) Who were the miners? (All we saw were teenagers playing video games, protesting and blowing up things.) The intrepid bounty hunter (who doesn't seem very menacing) is named "Danny"? Oh, I could go on and on...

Anyway, if you can stay awake through it, you might get a chuckle or two out of it. However, if you are looking for an interesting, exciting, well-made movie - take a pass on "Starship"!

My rating: 2

Very boring star wars clone, but there is something to be said about a universe where FTL travel is a thing, but we use boring 20th century stuff on the colonies. That and the fact the robots have people faces definitely says something interesting about their world. The movie ain't gonna say it though.

I like to watch obsolete/obscure movies, but I must say that this one was not high on my list. Starship is cheesy, corny, etc, but they could have done much better. While I liked the general idea (underground army, post-nuclear holocaust, etc), the approach was, well, limited, to say the least. The Grid/Kid/Digit character was one of the most distracting in the film. Also, hinging the fate of the future on one character seemed to stretch the plot a bit, to put it mildly. There were some positive aspects... but they are hard to find. What I mean to say is that if I myself had a home video camera and a couple of football helmets, I could have made a similar movie. But if you're looking for excitement, or the winner of the "best obsolete film" award, this is not it. Sorry.