La danza del diavolo

A bunch of idiots break down and decide to break into a mansion they don't own that's in the middle of the woods. Obviously, someone who lives there isn't thrilled and kills them in uninspired ways.

Deadly Manor is one of the worst movies I've ever been unfortunate enough to view. The plot is non-existent, the characters are idiotic, and the kills aren't gory or interesting enough to make up for it. It does have a great central location, but that's about all I can recommend about it.

Some friends break down and don't want to stay in the car as it thunderstorms, so they hike to an abandoned house, let themselves in, and are surprised when a masked killer does away with them for breaking into their house.

Nothing about Deadly Manor makes any sense. Even the premise itself is silly. What rational group of people would all nod their heads and say "yes" to the idea of breaking into a creepy looking mansion in the middle of nowhere just so they won't have to stay in their car as it rains? Even at under 90 minutes, the film drags because we can't relate to any of these people why they're doing what they're doing. You'd think that, knowing their premise was inept, they'd at least try to spice it up with some clever kills here and there, but I can't remember a single kill in this movie and I watched it last night.

I'm trying to understand what would possess a bunch of people to say "hey, let's break into this creepy house because it's about to rain. Even if someone lives there, I'm sure they won't mind." Was this a thing people used to do or was it always something that only ever happened in bad B-movies?

Other than that, Deadly Manor also happens to be one of the most boring movies I've ever seen in my life.

Spanish-American co-production slasher film, directed by José Ramón Larraz (Vampyres, 1974). A group of REALLY idiotic 'teens' (plus a mysterious hitchhiker) travelling through upstate New York on their way to vacation at a lake decide to stop off and spend the night in an apparently abandoned mansion. Despite finding an old, severely damaged car bizarrely parked on top of a stone monument in the grounds, as though the whole thing is some kind of a shrine, several coffins in the basement, and what appears to be a human scalp, they decide they'll stay anyway. Eventually (surprise!), one by one they start getting bumped off.

This was made in 1990; the 80s slasher boom had passed, and Scream had yet to pump new life into the genre. The first half is very slow, taking a while to get going as far as kills are concerned, the acting ranges from bad to barely passable, and the killer's motivation is ridiculous. But the location (a genuinely abandoned house, demolished soon after the shoot) is very creepy, the girls are cute (the absolutely stunning Claudia Franjul was tragically killed in real life just five years after this in a traffic accident at the age of just 24), and if throat slashings are your thing you could do worse. Some female nudity. 5/10.

Six youths on their way to an elusive lake in upstate New York pick up a dubious hitchhiker and are eventually compelled to stay at a remote, dilapidated mansion in the sticks. Will they make it out alive?

"Deadly Manor" (1990) combines 80's slasher with spooky house à la "Hell Night" (1981). Coming out ten years after the seminal "Friday the 13th," it's rather late in the game but fans of those movies and "Tourist Trap" (1979), "The Funhouse" (1981), "The Prowler" (1981), "Frightmare" (1983), "Zombie High" (1987) and "Prom Night IV: Deliver Us from Evil" (1991) should appreciate it even though it ranks with the least of em'. Like "Slugs" (1988), it's a Spanish production shot in the USA.

Some critics understandably complain that the going is slow but, despite some dubious make-up at the end, I felt the flick works up some nice spookiness, as well as some quality mystery in regards to what's going on at the remote, rundown manor. Clark Tufts stands out in the cast as Jack, looking like a rock star.

The female cast consists of Claudia Franjul (Helen), Liz Hitchler (Susan) and Kathleen Patane (Anne), but the highlight is Jennifer DeLora, who shows up around the midway mark. Speaking of whom, she appears nude in one sequence, as well as in photos. There's additional overt nudity involving several bike enthusiasts, mostly in the form of old photos. Just a heads up.

The film runs 1 hour, 26 minutes, and was shot at Hillburn Manor, a derelict 100-year-old mansion in Suffern, New York, that was demolished after the film was shot in five weeks around September, 1989. Suffern is located about 40 minutes north of Manhattan near the border of northeastern New Jersey.

GRADE: B-