Sinbad of the Seven Seas

Made in Spain with no sound equipment under a director who rewrote it as he filmed it, shelved for years due to being unusable, then one day roughly edited, badly dubbed, and poorly scored in an attempt to get something saleable and here we are.

Ever seen Sinbad portrayed as a heavily muscled superman in sparkly purple disco tights? Ever seen Jaffar portrayed as a cackling English villain in cahoots with a busty blonde in a scandalous leather one piece? Well now you can!

There's monsters, fighting, sexy ladies, animated effects, leather clad henchmen, slo-mo running, a 'Poochie the Dwarf' comic-relief who's neither funny nor a dwarf then disappears midway through the movie, more fighting, constant narration explaining what's going on, laughably poor music, magical zombie horses, and that guy off the hulk, I mean what's not to like, people!?

One of my favorite comedies, although it's not supposed to be one. So incredibly bad, it's amazing! Some of the stupidest dialogue ever, and some ridiculous fight scenes. Lou Ferrigno is a joy to watch, especially his hilarious facial expressions. Watch this movie with a bunch of friends, but do not drink milk while doing so, otherwise it'll come spewing out of your nose!

This film begins with a mother reading a bedtime story to her young daughter about the adventures of a brave sailor named "Sinbad" (played by Lou Ferrigno). As the story goes, Sinbad and his shipmates are bringing "Prince Ali" (Roland Wybenga) to Basra so that he can marry "Princess Alina" (Alessandra Martines). However, just before they get there the evil sorcerer "Jaffar" (John Steiner) decides to overthrow the "Caliph of Basra" (Donald Hodson) by casting an evil spell which creates chaos and destruction upon the city thereby leaving him in total control. To that extent, upon their arrival there Sinbad and his crew are barely able to escape with their lives and upon doing so they immediately set sail in a effort to recover the four sacred gems of Basra which they will need to help rectify the situation. Now rather than reveal any more. I will just say that this film had a good storyline but it was completely ruined by the simplistic format, incompetent direction, imbecilic script, and some really horrendous acting. Likewise, having Lou Ferrigno so badly miscast in the lead role certainly didn't help matters. Admittedly, it did have several beautiful actresses like Melonee Rodgers (as the Amazon Queen "Farida"), Stefania Girolami ("Kyra"), Teagan Clive ("Soukra") and the aforementioned Alessandra Martines. Yet despite that fact it wasn't enough to significantly affect the overall picture. It was just that bad.

TV's Incredible Hulk, Lou Ferrigno's fourth in a series of Italian made sword and sandal flicks he starred in during the 1980s. Sinbad succeeded two Hercules films and one titled, The Seven Magnificent Gladiators. He reprised roles played by US musclemen, such as Steve Reeves and Gordon Scott, who worked for Italian studios in the early 60s making loads of sword and sandal flicks. In fact, Lou's efforts along with other flicks such as Conan, the Deathstalker series and Lee Horsley's Sword And The Sorcerer were part of an 80s' revival of the 60s' sword and sandal/sorcery genre.

This version of Sinbad was apparently intended for TV but never made it. Beefed up special effects grace this movie version. However, any Sinbad film has to be compared to the three gems made by Ray Harryhausen, the most successful of which was The Golden Voyage Of Sinbad in 1973. Ray's meticulously worked stop motion special effects leave those in Sinbad Of The Seven Seas standing, and that's the point; this film is so wooden. The plot calls for Sinbad to bring home some special stones so that his pal the Prince can marry his beloved Princess who is being held by an evil wizard (John Steiner). He sets sail with a crew that includes a Viking and a Samurai warrior and overcomes such adversities as a laser beam shooting monster and soldiers that rise from the dead. His last feat finds him wrestling himself . See this if you like Lou Ferrigno (he still looks great and has let his curly hair grow out Afro style) and/or sword and sandal pics - just don't expect to be riveted to your seat.

It takes talent to make a good movie. You have to have good everything to make it happen--actors, plot, script, directing, etc. It takes just as much talent to screw up every single aspect of a movie, while trying to do your best. This is exactly what "Sinbad" achieves. Cheesy fights; awful, unnatural (ie, hilarious) dialogue; and poor acting all combine to bring the word "appalling" to mind.

This movie is not a painful bad, but a funny bad, best enjoyed with buddies. Do not pass up a chance to watch this!