Il duro del Road House

I love this movie. Why? Because it's sooo bad it's good. It dosen't

take itself too seriously (for the most part) but the lines really put

this one over the edge. "It's gonna get worse before it get's better"

""Be nice until it's time to not be nice" and "Oh baby, your gonna

be my regular Saturday night thing!" are classics of bad cinema.

The characters? All one dimensional hillbillies. The acting? Awful.

The plot? Yeah right. This movie is great because you can't take

your eyes away. What cheesy line comes next? When's the next

fight? And Who's the hot blonde? A guilty pleasure through and

through but it is fun sitting around with a bunch of guys watching

this and laughing your ass off. A great guy movie. Recommended.

This really is one of those guilty pleasures - a silly, inane movie, but possessed of so many elements for guys to enjoy, mainly regular bouts of ass-kicking, that a guy has to watch it about once a year to get his fix of adrenaline and a picture of how the world should work. The movie has its own rules and an internal structure mostly explained by the character of Dalton (Swayze), a supervisor of bouncers termed a Cooler. When certain entertainment establishments become too lowbrow and rowdy on a nightly basis, someone like Dalton is hired on to show all the patrons how to behave in a civilized manner. He has a degree in philosophy to help facilitate his instruction, plus some martial arts disciplines. In this world of bouncers, club owners, and alcohol dispensers, Dalton has a mighty rep - they've all heard of him, tho many thought he'd be bigger.

Also with an older rep is Wade Garrett (Elliott), an aged cooler who shows up halfway in to help his protégé kick some teeth in. It's amusing to watch the bouncers when introduced to Wade - they react like actors introduced to the Marlon Brando of the bouncer industry. The main villain is a local rich bigshot (Gazzara), usually wearing a self-satisfied evil grin and nice clothes, hiding a repugnant nature which treasures power & more power above all else. Well, actually, he doesn't hide it much as the pic progresses. This is where such villains make a foolish error: if he'd been just a little more laid-back and content with all the power he already had, things would've probably stayed the same for him. But he just can't resist having total absolute control over everything & everyone - a pure-bred fascist if ever there was - offending the zen-like sensibilities of the usually serene Dalton. Of course, having a couple of Dalton's friends killed didn't help towards a peaceful resolution.

The most entertaining portions of the pic are Dalton's methods in dealing with yahoo troublemakers; these dangerous dudes are reduced to clownish oafs by Dalton's effective tactics & knowhow. There's also a dark version of Dalton, Gazzara's main henchman, a martial arts master who seems a match for Dalton's prowess. There are frequent splashes of female nudity, including by Lynch as Dalton's new girlfriend (and doctor; Dalton isn't invulnerable - he needs a doctor about twice a week). You also seem to learn a lot about the art of being a bouncer, though some of this may be baloney. In many ways, this could be the perfect guy picture.

It was the Summer of 1989. The biggest movies in Hollywood's arsenal, all in one fiery season: "Batman", "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade", "Ghostbusters II", "Lethal Weapon 2", "Star Trek V", "License to Kill" and .... "Road House"? You read that right.

Patrick Swayze stars as Dalton, the (second) best cooler in the business, who's charged with cleaning up The Double Deuce, the seediest honky-tonk bar in Jasper, MO. But things don't go so smoothly when Dalton crosses the town's self-appointed ruler, Brad Wesley (Ben Gazzara, better known as Evil Ben Gazzara). He's paid off the Sheriff, so Evil Ben Gazzara is pretty much the town's law and order. He's not pleased with the Double Deuce's burgeoning prosperity, so he makes things tricky for Dalton. But as we learned in "Dirty Dancing", nobody puts Dalton in the corner.

Fifteen minutes into the film, it becomes obvious (by just the dialogue) that this is a tongue-in-cheek enterprise. Any illusions that this will be a thought-provoking story about a philosophical bouncer in a rough town go right out the window (average viewer: "well, this oughta be a fun ride!"). Even Swayze (behind that cool stare) knows this movie is ridiculous - and that's exactly where the entertainment value kicks into high gear.

Consider what this film has going for it:

• Swayze at his sinewy, mulleted peak

• Bar fights

• Monster trucks

• A gaggle of shapely ladies

• Steamy farmhouse sex

• Sam Elliott

• Shootouts

• Sweaty martial arts

• Male bonding that borders on homoerotic

• Crackling dialogue ("Do you enjoy pain?" ... "Pain don't hurt")

• Stuffed polar bear attacks

The entertainment value of "Road House" is simply off the charts. Where else would you find a bouncer with an NYU degree (in philosophy!) and the brooding intensity to nail the town doctor (the smoldering Kelly Lynch) AND forcefully remove a man's throat from his neck? Nowhere, sir! It is escapist entertainment of the highest order, in all its gratuitous violence.

And let us not criticize the film's message. If you have feet and fists of fury, you CAN conquer a small town in Midwestern America. But simply putting a man through a table or a window is not enough. I would say maybe ten or fifteen should do it.

I do have one beef. For a movie to feature Keith David in the opening credits, and only give that man one speaking line is morally reprehensible. But there were boobies, so I think we can let this one slide.

7.5/10

OK, this isn't Oscar material, it garnered six Razzie nominations instead. The acting leaves a lot to be desired, and the dialog is pure corn, but it fills the "guilty pleasure" category like a glove.

While others like Dirty Dancing, this movie will always define Patrick Swayze to me. In his memory, I will watch it over and over.

It will be the movie that reminds me of how attractive Kelly Lynch is.

It will remind me why I like Sam Elliott.

It will remind me why Ben Gazzara is perfect as Boss Hogg.

It's not art, it's pure entertainment, and why I will always remember Swayze.

Besides, it has one of the best soundtracks around.

Patrick Swayze kicks ass, takes names, & loves the ladies!

Great action flick for Swayze to strut his stuff.

How has it taken me this long to see this film?