Journey to the Center of the Earth

Fans of Jules Verne's timeless adventure story should take heed of early signs of impending danger in this train-wreck of a movie and immediately turn back: Journey To The Center Of The Earth '88 is extremely tough going and many pitfalls lie in wait.

The first indication that this is going to be a disastrous expedition into the unknown comes with the introduction of the film's heroine, British nanny Crystina (Nicola Cowper), an unappealing, androgynous looking young woman with a very nasty haircut. Things get worse when Crystina takes a job in Hawaii, looking after a dog for wild rock singer Billy Foul (Jeremy Crutchley), and her path crosses with two irritating, American teenage boys, Richard (Paul Carafotes) and Bryan (Ilan Mitchell-Smith), and their younger sister Sara (Jackie Bernstein). By now, it's perfectly clear that this film bears little resemblance to Verne's novel.

When the kids go exploring volcanic caves on the island, with Crystina following (having had her dog basket put in the back of their jeep by mistake), the group find themselves plunged into a subterranean world where they discover Atlantis, home to a Brazil-style dystopian society of bizarre 80s punk-styled characters.

This charmless mess of a movie was started by writer/director Rusty Lemorande, but when Cannon films refused to cough up the cash for his intended special effects, the film was eventually completed by tacking on material shot by B-movie legend Albert Pyun, whose abysmal Atlantis based footage ostensibly serves as a sequel to his earlier movie Alien From L.A. (which was also loosely based on Verne's classic).

The diabolical, incoherent narrative, cheap sets (complete with polystyrene rocks), and wooden performances from Cowper and Mitchell-Smith make the whole sorry affair difficult to endure. After much aimless Atlantis-based action in which the youngsters (minus Richard, who mysteriously vanishes) try to avoid capture by the villainous General Rykov (Janie du Plessis), who plans to invade the Earth's surface, the film ends abruptly with a completely pointless montage of earlier scenes set to a crappy 80s pop/rock tune.

Don't waste your time. Run away as fast as you can from this movie.

This film is the worst film I have ever seen. The story line is weak - I couldn't even follow it. The acting is high-schoolish. The sound track is irritating. The attempts at humor are not. The editing is horrible. The credits are even slow - I would be embarrassed to have my name associated with this waste of film. Don't waste your time even thinking about this attempt at acting.

One of many many adaptations of the Jules Verne classic Journey to the Center of the Earth it's also the sequel to Alien from L.A (1988).

It's easy to make it randomly a sequel to some dodgy film as it has about as much to do with Verne's work as E.T (1982) does with Alien (1979)!

It tells the story of three young people who find themselves trapped in a cave system when a nearby volcano erupts. Forced to go further in to try and find a way out they come across the lost city of Atlantis and all the drivel that came with the previous movie.

To its credit it does follow Alien from L.A fairly well, but that's pretty much all it has going for it. It's yet another cheesy mess that lacks in pretty much every area of entertainment value.

To make matters worse there is a dream sequence that has nothing to do with anything and the scene that builds up to the finale seems to have been removed entirely!

If you can get past these issues and so very much more than you might find some level of enjoyment watching the two movies as a pair but as a stand alone it's devoid of anything and everything.

The Good:

Follows on from the previous movie well

Some neat pop culture references

The Bad:

The application of bioluminescence is still stupid

Not even remotely an adaptation

Pointless dream sequence

Very dishonest cover art

Ending feels unfinished

Supposedly a sequel to "Alien from LA". But not really anything. No plot. Not ending. Nothing. Why did actors take this job? Were they that short of money? Producers must have been pretending to fulfill a contract obligation, but produced zero budget garbage. Even as a camp comedy it fails. Don't bother.