Blood Nasty

I know who watches crap like this: idiots like me who actively seek out bad films. But who MAKES crap like this? All that effort and money on a finished product that most sane people wouldn't waste their precious time on. Surely, at some point during filming, someone must have realised how completely awful it all was. Why didn't they cut their losses by closing down production?

Unsurprisingly, the abysmal nature of the film didn't go unnoticed once it was completed: it's never had an official release, on VHS or disc, no distributor willing to shell out money on the rights and risk being left with a warehouse of unshifted units. The only way to see it is by finding it on the internet, but be warned... it's not really worth the effort, even if it does feature Linnea Quigley dressed in a sexy, topless cowgirl outfit.

The plot, for what it's worth, sees two-bit criminal Roy Flowers digging up the grave of killer Luis 'Blade' Orlando in order to steal a valuable ring from the dead man's hand. Ring successfully retrieved, Roy is double-crossed by his partners-in-crime, who hit him over the head with a shovel, bury his body in Blade's grave (impaling him with a metal pole for good measure), and take his plane ticket.

When the plane explodes mid-flight, and Roy is believed to have died in the disaster, his mother (Cathrine Grace) and sister (cute blonde Allison Barron) receive $300,000 from his life insurance policy. When Roy turns up at home shortly after, his body now possessed by Blade's spirit, his mother fears that she will have to return the money...

I'm not saying that the idea doesn't have comedic potential, just that directors Richard Gabai and Robert Strauss, and the majority of the cast, lack the talent to make any of it work. Dark humour requires a level of finesse and acumen that those involved clearly do not possess and the result is a total mess best avoided by all but devotees of z-grade tat.

This film isn't available at your local video store and truthfully that's not such a bad thing. The plot is a little rough but I'll try and explain it. A man gets involved in some sort of grave robbing situation and then gets kicked into the grave and switches souls with a Mexican serial killer named Blade. Meanwhile, this poor dude's white trash family finds out that he died on a plane crash (????) and have been awarded money from his life insurance policy. When Blade wants to get out of his grave and walk around (with a pole in his stomach)he heads home to his crazy, money hungry family. Not being able to suppress his homicidal urges he finds himself killing a lot of people and his family wants to kill him so they can keep the money. There are a few bright spots in this low-budget horror flick. Richard Gabai has a supporting role as Danny the boyfriend and he gets to have sex with Allison Barron. Way to go, Richard. The music is pretty cool, especially the theme "Thicker than Blood". Linnea Quigley has a meaty role as Wanda, Blade's psychic stripper girlfriend.I really don't think that the quality of the film is the fault of the film-makers. I think that if they had a bigger budget and more time then it had the potential to be a really good horror flick. It does have good gore and a great extended love scene with a funny punchline. Where it fails is with the script and storyline. The acting isn't bad and the actors have no trouble with comic timing. And finally if you watch this movie with people who like to drink you can come up with a game where you drink every time Allison Barron says "it's all my fault". You will be drunk in no time.