Alienator

Ok, I admit I'm something of a nut for bad movies. And this dog certainly falls into that category with a vengance. But those who even *think* this compares to the worst movie of all time - or even comes close - really need to watch more bad movies. The perennial favorite 'worst movie of all time' (Plan 9 from Space) is definately worse than this (though it's not the worst movie).

THis movie is great if you like bad movies, and even better if you like to MST your own. If you expect Gone with the Wind or even such dreck as "Angels in the Outfield", this is not for you.

My review was written in November 1989 after watching the film on Prism video cassette.

"Alienator" is a tongue-in-cheek sci-fi thriller geared toward home video fans with a soft spot for the old stars and old-fashioned serials.

Film dovetails closely with previous pics by Fred Olen Ray, particularly "Star Slammer", in a tale of rebel leader Ross Hagen, who escapes execution on a remote prison planet and travels to Earth. Muscle lady Teagan Clive (as the title "Alienator" character) is sent to destroy him and his Earthling youngsters, Jesse Dabson and Dawn Wildsmith, who have befriended Hagen.

The appearance of genre vets like Robert Clarke and Robert Quarry is a plus, but "Alienator" suffers from a weak script. Leads Jan-Michael Vincent and John Phillip Law have little to do; Wildsmith is cast against type in an uncharacteristically wimpy role, and P. J. Soles is stuck in a rather goofy costume as an outer space technician.

Not enough is made of Teagan Clive, the Alienator. She's strange and awesome looking in a revealing heavy metal outfit but had a much better role in the Italian horror film "Obsesion: A Taste for Fear".

Tech credits are adequate.

Well, I had to be generous and give this a 2. This was mainly due to the gratuitous holes cut in that lady's shirt where her breasts are. I found that mildly amusing. Other than that, this movie does nothing more than provide a few good laughs with a friend. Funny if you're willing to throw "mystery science theatre" comments at it with someone, but it ain't no better than a 2. And a 2 pretty much sucks.

Kol, space prisoner on space death row, manages to hijack a space shuttle and escape to the woods of America where he, along with some new found friend try to escape from the 'Alienator" a female cyborg killing machine. Made one year after the best movie of Fred Olen Ray's career, "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers", this one can't help but feel like a bit of a letdown. Just as low-budget as that earlier film, but not nearly as fun as I had with it. None of the actors really stood out at me. The film is alright for the undiscriminating viewer during a rainy Saturday afternoon, but that's pretty much all it's good for.

My Grade: D+

Where i saw it: Showtime Thriller

(36%) One of the kings of intensive B-movie production, Fred Olen Ray attempted to cash-in on both Alien and the Terminator in one single movie, and the end result is this this pretty bad, yet still perfectly watchable sci-fi action/horror. The opening prologue set on a space prison (and clearly filmed in a disused industrial unit on the outskirts of Hollywood) offers maybe the most fun part of the whole movie with the cheap sets and the ridiculous costumes, the female character with two big holes in her top is especially comedic; but then again I doubt is this was ever intended to be taken in the slightest bit seriously. The alienator herself is a daft looking cyborg that appears to be made up of bits and pieces raided from a prop department and then rather cack handedly put together in a few hours. Fans of low-rent 80's cheese should give this a go as it isn't overly dull, or that badly made that it becomes unenjoyable to watch, but everyone else should stick to the films this wants to imitate.