- Hilary: Me uncle went out with a girl half his age.
- Vera Flood: Oh, did it work out?
- Hilary: No. Me auntie found him and brought him home.
- Alec Callender: You know what they say about solicitors - problems solved while you wait... and wait and wait.
- Dorothy 'Dot' Burgess, Zoe's Mother: [to a customer about Zoe] I dropped her on her head once when she was a baby, unfortunately not hard enough.