You Can't Hurry Love

Okay, the movie was pretty awful, though it didn't make me want to vomit. I'm trying to figure out what the makers of this film were thinking. The most amusing part of the film was of course all the dates that the lead character got set up on. Of course it wasn't all that original because the dates from hell is a standard plot in every movie and sitcom. I am a fan of Bridget Fonda's, and even though she wasn't a big name at the point of this film's making, I have to wonder why she would consent to be in this. Other than she needed the money. I definitely don't need to see this one again. It may have been aiming for charmingly goofy, but it ended up at the destination of head shaking bad.

I think the title is trying to explain why this film ddrrrraaaags along. It's like swimming in molasses. Lots of dialogue here but none of it of any value. I challenge anyone to sit through this entire movie in one sitting without falling asleep or going mad. But then one should expect no less from the co-writer of "Three for the Road", that movie was no winner either. I'm sure this movie looked good to Bridget Fonda on paper, it just should have stayed there.

It's hard to believe how terrible movies like this can get made, let alone with a cast this talented and fun. I suppose they were sold on the premise, which is not a bad one: A guy from Ohio moves to California to try to get into advertising and find love, only to end up with an "advertising" job that consists of handing out flyers at the beach and on a string of hilariously bad dates gotten through a video dating service where he thinks he needs to pretend to be someone he's not in order to attract a girl.

Sounds okay, right? Well, none of the jokes hit, almost all the bits that are supposed to be funny are just stupid, and there is very little romance in this until the end, all tied up in a bundle of ridiculous cliches that will make you groan out loud.

The thing is, this has an actually half decent lead and several well known and amazing costars in it! I was surprisingly impressed with David Packer's ability to actually make me care about his idiot character. I've always liked Bridget Fonda but while she shows up throughout the movie, they don't give her as much time as they should, in my opinion. They tease romance between her and the lead but it's done really poorly, and the chemistry is terrible between them. Tony Geary, Kristy McNichol, and Charles Grodin all have great bit parts that I found fun to watch. Porn star Candie Evans even shows her amazing body off for a few seconds in two scenes. They all kept me watching, but wow, is this script bad.

Richard Martini wrote AND directed this, so he's the one to blame. I don't see a casting director but whoever got all these fun people to star in this is a genius.

It's not the worst thing I've ever seen but that's hardly a recommendation. If the cast interests you at all, it's better than staring at the wall, I guess. It's got a couple fun moments in it, but it's bad. Really bad. Good luck.

David Packer wants to find success, love, and his path in sunny California. Leaving his parents and home behind, he goes to live with a friend (Scott McGinnis.) The whole plot of the film is his experience of joining a dating service "Love Connection"-style and hooking up with supposedly nice girls and the quandaries they put him in. For such an obviously simple film, it has enough charm to make you relax and feel at home. This is not terribly inspired or original, but you get to see plenty of 1980s stars, such as David Leisure, Kristy McNichol, Sally Kellerman, Charles Grodin, Anthony Geary, Lu Leonard, Frank Bonner, Merete van Kemp (from Dallas and TV miniseries) and Bridget Fonda. I don't usually read other reviews, but I agree with a lot of them when I say "I ashamedly admit to enjoying and liking most of it." It's so unpretentious and is not in your face with crude jokes like others of its kind. In other words, this is better than it has any right to be, given the likable and down-to-earth lead actor and colorful and professional supporting players. The director rightly made a who's who cast to keep the viewer interested. While this is peppered here and there with some skin scenes for those who enjoy that sort of thing, on the whole, this is a better than usual 1980s film about a guy trying to find love.

David Packer plays a young single making his way through the blind date scene in loony Los Angeles, finding many nuts and flakes in the bowl before clean, uncomplicated Bridget Fonda makes his day. A broadly-drawn, low-budget and low-class comedy made up of an unbroken string of stupid lines. Kristy McNichol's brief appearance as a mercurial performance artist lasts about seven minutes, but she's the best thing in the movie. The rest of the picture is pretty vile, with additional cameos by Charles Grodin and Sally Kellerman adding nothing. Crass material not even good enough for your standard TV sitcom. * from ****