Il ritorno dal fiume Kwai

If the old guard and war purists thought the epic Guiness-Holden-Hawkins war film was unreal, they'd reconsider that film as being totally credible when compared to this.

One wouldn't think that a film made in 1989 would be devoid of realism in war. The seventies preached "realism", though refused to deliver it, instead trying to con audiences with tawdry, depressing scenes just to be under budget, then claim it was "realism". Nope, Then the eighties came, and producers couldn't get away from the heckling of the literate public, who saw through their con jobs.

However, "Reality" in war was still preached, only now not as contrived for bullets to find only likable characters.

Which makes this Mickey Mouse adventure a puzzle, and makes it even more embarrassing. By 1989, I guarantee you that three out of four people knew the POWs in Japanese camps were beyond malnutrition, and incapable of swinging an axe, let alone taking a knife and thrusting it into guard.

Overcoming Japanese soldiers is so rampant here, that it borders on comedy. True, in "Bataan" American soldiers led by Robert Taylor made a mockery of the enemy, but old timers form the era told me that it wasn't far off the truth, because American soldiers were nourished and strong, and of the Japanese, only the leading Samurai got more than a handful of rice a day. The Japanese soldier was weak from severe hunger.

However, while the soldier was weak from hunger, and mean from hunger, he wasn't in the horrid condition the POW was in.

This movie has POWs that make the POWs in Lean's epic look like skin and bones.

That said, a movie can still be "watchable". This one is slightly "watchable", but don't expect much. In the end, it's pretty much a waste of time, but it doesn't leave you depressed. Just look at it as Bugs Bunny outwitting Elmer Fudd again, or Mickey Mouse squeaking along at the river Kwai.

A very average little war movie with no relation to the original "Bridge on the River Kwai" other than in name and a brief bit at the start. It's just a pure latter-day cash-in on the name of the original in fact.

The cinematography is decent and the colours are very good. A few sparklies are evident in the very dark scenes but with a decent sound free from any unwanted hiss or crackle the overall quality is pretty good.

As a bonus I found a few nice pseudo-surround effects using my Yamaha digital sound projector so I can't complain about anything other than the story.

Oh it's not quite family viewing by the way, containing as it does a few "bastards" and one "piss off" (for which the orator was beheaded with a sword by the Japanese officer to whom the remark was addressed).

My aged parents with whom I watched it on one of their weekly visits were not impressed though I thought it was an absolute hoot.

I nearly forgot to mention that there is a serious anomaly about 47 minutes into the film (which I'll submit for inclusion on the database).

The POWs are travelling by a rather ancient and decrepit train along a single-track equally decrepit jungle railway to their destination, housed in horrid old wooden box-car like trucks. At this mid-point we see a view of the train with colourful contemporary main-line passenger coaches, which look rather nice and comfortable and are certainly not made of wood. The film then reverts to the wooden box cars.

I just recently had the tawdry task of sitting through the Japanese version of this film, with all the English dialog subtitled in Japanese and all the Japanese dialog (and there is a lot of it) not subtitled, so admittedly I couldn't tell 100% exactly what was going on the whole time.

The film begins well, reminding me of an episode of "Black Sheep Squadron" with George Takei kicking around a band of misfit G.I.'s in Burma while they're constantly under attack by Allied planes. There's some good action sequences at this point, a staple of any of Andrew V. McLaglen's war films, but around the halfway mark the action dies down and it turns into a pretty dull movie about prisoners being escorted back to Japan. The climactic mutiny aboard the Japanese freighter and battle between a gunboat and an American submarine is just plain silly.

Chris Penn is totally useless this time around, and the subplot involving him and Denholm Elliott sneaking around behind enemy lines does nothing but distract us from the real story of all the prisoners. Edward Fox and Timothy Bottoms both come across as somewhat underused, but most of the Japanese cast, especially Tatsuya Nakadai (a Kurosawa regular), come off pretty well.

Overall this film comes across little more than an average TV war movie with minor action sequences, some better-than-average photography and special effects, but with a dull and meandering padded storyline. It's pretty dull, but the movie is decent enough to at least warrant some US distribution at some point in time.

Though RETURN FROM THE RIVER KWAI is not exactly terrible, this is a fairly unmemorable dud, and totally useless as a sequel to an undeniably great film.

When Listing a full cast for this movie, why is it that you missed NIGEL WILLIAMS Listed works on this one movie, STAND IN for :- CHRIS PENN, DENHOLM ELLIOT, EDWARD FOX Stunts for :- CHRIS PENN Second Unit Assistant:- Phillipines Parts played: POW Screaming Soldier Father Family walking

Yes I am Nigel and would like too see some credit; If proof is needed I have the autographed script, photographs and yes you can contact ALL the stars.. My family attended a picnic with G Takei, my youngest daughter still refers to him as "Uncle George".

I have not seen the completed movie because it has not been released here in the US. I would like advice on getting a USA compatible copy!!

By summer 1943 on the Asian mainland , Japanese troops had overrun much of the southeast Asia . They had conquered what is now Malasya and Burma . The British defenders and their allied had retreated north and west into India . The bridge of the River Kwai was placed on the so-called ¨Burma road¨ stretched north from the Burmese , Rangoon , into southern China . It combined a railroad with a winding track through the high mountains near the Chinese border . There had many valuable natural resources , including large large oil fields , and Japan's victory in 1942 cut off the only land route into China from outside. The mountain and jungle of Burma were some of the most demanding environments for fighting in the whole war . Burma and Thailand was strategically valuable , however , it guarded the supply routes to China where were a million Japanese troops, but in such a huge country even that number could not win a decisive victory over the Allied . The film's opening prologue states : "Planes from the 493rd Squadron of the U.S. Army Air Corps bombed and destroyed the bridges on the River Kwai in Japanese-occupied Thailand. This film is based on the true events which happened during that period" . In Thailand working for building a bridge over the River Kwai were a group of war prisoners , mostly Australian and Brits , Maj. Benford (Edward Fox , though Anthony Andrews was earmarked for this role) , Cmdr Hunt (Nick Tate) , Seaman Miller (Timothy Bottoms) , among others , under rigid orders of the camp of concentration's commandant Tanaka (George Takei) . Cruel conditions in the concentration camp make life very difficult and the climate also had a significant impact on the prisoners . Meantime , the bridge is bombing by an American aircraft piloted by lieutenant Crawford (Chris Penn , recently deceased) , but he's gunned down , being picked up by the Meo ,an indigenous tribe . The Meo have created a resistance group commanded by British colonel Grayson (Demholm Elliott) . Then , the convicts find many dangers and risks , as they are transported by rail and , later on , they shipped by sea to serve as slave workers . As they pass throughout several places and cities , Nonh Penh , Saigon , until embark on a freighter , but an Allied submarine sight the ship...

The film is allegedly the following to classic 'Bridge on the river Kwai' by David Lean with William Holden , Alec Guinnes , Jack Hawkins , but this Return to Kwai is not based on the novel written by Pierre Boulle and starts where the original terminated with the blowing-up of the famous bridge . However , not being an official sequel to 1957 original film , it was made in short budget about thirty years after ; in fact , it wasn't even released in the United States theatres because of legal reasons , and in Europe premiered in cinemas with limited success . It does supposedly follow-on from true facts as depicted in that film , though the roles , historical events , happenings and incidents in both films are essentially different . It displays a functional cinematography by Arthur Wooster . And evocative as well as original musical score by Lalo Schifrin but without the unforgettable melodies from the successful first adaptation . The motion picture results to be an inferior version and made in a television style , being based on true events written by Clay and Joan Blair . The picture was middlingly directed by Andrew V. McLagen , Victor McLagen's son.