Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers

I wholeheartedly agree with earlier reviewers that said this movie is one of the best of its genre--unfortunately that genre is worthless crap. This is an early example of horror/comedy "scream queen" movies, featuring two of the more ubiquitous screams queens Michelle Bauer and Linnaea Quigley, and directed by one of the pioneers of these kind of films (along with Dave DeCoutea and Jim Wynorski)--Fred Olen Ray. This movie, however, is surprisingly creative and long on plot, and it actually has more than one set and a budget that approaches whole numbers. It is also genuinely funny in places.

These kind of films were largely inspired by the 70's Roger Corman-produced films like "Hollywood Boulevard" or "Caged Heat" (Jim Wynorski actually got his start with Corman--thank's a lot, Roger), but there's a good reason many of the directors of those films went onto bigger and (usually) better things while the three amigos here have kept doing this same thing year after year. There's a big difference between seriously making schlocky films that nevertheless demonstrate real talent, and just mugging your way through self-consciously campy "cult films" in attempt to disguise a total lack of it. Olen Ray, at least, has a genuine love of film which shows in some of his best work (Wynorski, as he himself brags in every interview, is more interested in improving his own dating life than in making good movies, while the openly gay DeCouteau is just a hack by any standard).

As for the "scream queens", Quigley and Bauer, they certainly camp it up as usual, but make enough of effort that they seem more like genuine actresses than strippers here. This is the kind of the movie that really floats to the top of the HUGE pool of worthless crap movies that have been churned out since the early 80's, but it also, mind you, doesn't quite float ABOVE that pool. If you like these kinds of movies, of course, you won't want to miss it. And for everyone else?--well, you could do worse, I guess.

"Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers" is one of the best examples of those trashy, cheesy, horror/spoofs of the 80s (Toxic Avenger and Blood Diner would be included in there as well) that I so fondly adore. The movie is short, sweet, and to the point but I enjoyed every excruciatingly bad B-movie moment, which by the way, is accompanied by the corniest one-liners you've ever heard since Freddy Krueger. Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers concerns (what else?) a cult of chainsaw massacring babes who use fresh limbs from their victims to serve to their "master" (I'm assuming this is where Gunnar Hansen comes in). And boy does he look embarrassed. One classic scene involves a nude Michelle Bauer messily hacking up some poor old sap while listening to Elvis Prestley. The look on her face is priceless. Blood, a wooden Gunnar Hansen, laughs aplenty, cheesy rock music, scream queens Michelle Bauer and Linnea Quigley (her shining moment is the "dance of the double chainsaws!") all wrapped into one...don't miss it.

Fred Olen Ray was the reigning emperor of trashy low-budgeted B-movies during the late 1980's, so with his reputation and a fabulous title like "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers", this movie was destined to become a cult classic even long before anyone had seen it! The film is quite bad, of course, but also irresistibly charming, effectively tongue-in-cheek and massively entertaining in case you dig campy and brainless horror guff. Writer/director Fred Olen Ray and his entire ensemble cast noticeably had copious amounts of fun with this production, and there's no reason we shouldn't have either, thanks to the light-headed atmosphere, plentiful of gratuitous nudity, amateurish gore and a handful of hilarious and inventive gags. Jay Richardson pretends to be a bona fide Humprey "Maltese Falcon" Bogart in his role of chain-smoking and deep voice narrating private detective Jack Chandler. He's looking for a runaway teenage girl named Samantha (Linnea Quigley, who was 30 at the time) in the raunchy and perilous streets of Los Angeles. Jack crosses paths with a dangerously crazy cult of which the members are prostitutes worshiping the chainsaw and hacking up their customers' bodies in front of their spiritual leader. The latter is none other than Gunnar "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre" Hansen; who will presumably remain personified with chainsaw horror until his dying days. Jack fears that Samantha needs to be rescued from the cult, but the girl has her own personal and hidden agenda. At times, "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers" is a little bit tedious and intolerably cheap, but throughout most of the (relatively short) running time it's a successful parody and trash flick. You can't but chuckle with certain dialogs and situations, like Hansen's extended speech bringing an ode to the chainsaw, and the grotesque nude massacre sequences are downright hilarious. This film that is also partially responsible for the huge popularity of B-movie actresses/scream queens Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer. In what's arguably the best scene of the entire movie, Michelle Bauer dances naked to the tunes of an Elvis Presley song with a gigantic chainsaw in her hands. She mangles her hapless victim, but not before carefully protecting a poster of her singer idol with plastic wrapping. Classic! Definitely not recommended for about 99% of the world's population, but compulsory viewing for avid cult/horror fanatics.

This is the Fred Olen Ray of his golden era, before start making soft core skinnemax flicks. An homage to The Chainsaw Texas Massacre, with the original Leatherface (Gunnar Hansen) and a chainsaw duel between two eighties b-movie goddess. What more do you want? Some gore? you got it. Cheese? this is beyond cheese. Fred Olen Ray is a b-movie fan and here he delivers entertainment from a fan to all the fans. Hope he come back to make this kind of stuff. Im a big fan of his old stuff like this one, like Evil Toons and all that kind of stuff. OK, the eighties are gone i understand it but the spirit of it can live. I heard that he will make a sequel to this movie. Hope so.

This is a movie which actually lives up to the promise of its title, which is saying quite a lot. Its a horror comedy about a private eye who is prone to saying things like 'being a dick is a 24-hour-a-day job'. He is investigating a series of murders, which are of course the work of the Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers, of which scream queens Linnea Quigley and Michelle Bauer are prominent members. There's lots of blood and even more nudity on display here, with some dumb humour on hand to pad things out further. Quigley and Bauer are definitely fun to watch. The whole thing is an entertaining bit of trashy low budget 80's fun which delivers what it says on the tin.