Desert Warrior

Not to be confused with Dessert Warrior, an entirely different kind of movie involving pastry chefs, also don't confuse this Desert Warrior with the two other movies named the same. No, its this one, this is the right one, not the others. I would say this movie has a lot of nudity, but it does not. I would say that this is a science-fiction action movie but I feel if I did say so I would be lying. It is a fighting movie, not because it shows fighting but more so because the movie fights you to keep watching. This is a very combative movie, Desert Warrior challenges you to keep watching, constantly, its in your face, Desert Warrior is all like " What punk? You think you can watch a movie? ". You can't, you're not that tough, no one is.

This is probably the worst thing that I've ever seen. Yeah, I'll give some credit to Lou Ferrigno, I guess.. But the acting is horrible, the special effects make me want to punch a hole in my wall. I watched it over to my friends house because I had heard it was so cheesy that people in the room passed out from laughing so hard, but it made me more angry then humored. The storyline is senseless, and serves basically no purpose what so ever.

I could probably roll up toilet paper, paint it yellow and pretend to shoot it out of a gun and you'd have better Lazer gun ammo then you see coming out of these semi-plastic guns that they're using in this movie. This is guaranteed a first take movie. I'm almost 100% positive that they never did more than 1 take.. I wonder what the director was thinking.. Ed Wood is said to be the worst director of all time, but after seeing this movie, I think I appreciate him more.. My god.. Brace yourself if you decide you watch this.. Although, you might find it hysterical. I laughed through some of it, haha.

Even the Rookie Director Jim Goldman could figure out that a Beautiful leading lady Shari Shattuck (Racela) combined with a handsome leading man Lou Ferrigno (Zerak), and a fun screenplay adds up to a winner. Director Jim's Post-Apocalypse (PA) low Budget effort has the look and feels of an Italian PA however it's another in a long and distinguished line of Filipino PA films. Veteran low budget movie stalwart Mike Monty gets a solid "B" for the part of the compassionate Dr. Creo while veteran Mike Cohen ( For Your Height Only) as the head of the Governing Commission (Pres. Antarius) is his usual commanding self. Big Lew is tactfully low key in this one which is great as it gives very sexy Shari room to contribute the emotional tenner and carry the film with her obvious acting talent. I really enjoyed Desert Warrior.

My review was written in March 1989 after watching the movie on Prism video cassette.

This Filipino-lensed action pic is something of a fiasco, providing unintentional humor and inept filmmaking technique to video fans.

Shot in 1987 under the title "Sand Wars", pic has been retitled "Desert Warrior", but is unrelated to Cirio Santiago's 1985 Filipino film of that name.

Lou Ferrigno plays the beefy hero of a post-nuclear war society whose corrupt bossman (Kenneth Peer) needs uncontaminated women for mating purposes. Shari Shattuck is just the ticket, and most of the pic consists of Lou, clad in a Roman gladiator outfit, trying to help her escape from the bad guys' clutches.

Film unfolds like a bad parody of this overworked genre, with a very poor sound mix and ridiculously cheap-looking vehicles for the "Mad Max" fans to ogle. Poor Ferrigno, dubbed in his "Hercules" epics, uses his own voice here with embarrassing results.

Lou Ferrigno fans will not be disappointed--he is the best part of this dismal production. Lou is far from being in his best physical condition (similar to the way he looked in the movie Cage). He wears a Hercules-type outfit throughout, but does not show off in any muscle-flexing events. Even when he runs (and this happens surprisingly often) there are no close-ups or slow motions. Obviously he was not selected for his pulchritude. Perhaps the director was trying to showcase Lou's acting ability instead. Lou is fairly good at pretending to be sad and not so good at acting angry (also similar to Cage). Yet his acting is better than anything in the rest of this movie. It is even better than that of most of the other players (or were they customers selected at random from a Walmart parking lot?)--one could not enunciate his lines enough to be heard and another's slight accent undermined the authority of his character. The sets are truly cheap without any redeeming innovations. The equipment is pathetic and contributes to the farce. And there is barely any continuity or logic to the story line--a pity because the basic premise is decent sci-fi and the ending both uplifting and conclusive of the opening scene.