Desert Warrior

...but still not even THAT good. It has its moments, but the entire thing is horrendously padded with endless shots of people walking through hallways, walking through deserts, driving through deserts, etc. There's honestly about 6 scenes in the entire movie, I'd say literally about 80% of it is time wasting coverage scenes, with no dialogue. There's some hilarious scenes, and the acting is a riot. My favorite guy is the doctor with the glasses. I was so sad when he died. Half of the cast and the Drones look like the directors' neighbors. They don't even bother to do another take when they trip over their lines.

Overall, not bad but there's better bad/good movies. Like Never Too Young to Die!

My review was written in March 1989 after watching the movie on Prism video cassette.

This Filipino-lensed action pic is something of a fiasco, providing unintentional humor and inept filmmaking technique to video fans.

Shot in 1987 under the title "Sand Wars", pic has been retitled "Desert Warrior", but is unrelated to Cirio Santiago's 1985 Filipino film of that name.

Lou Ferrigno plays the beefy hero of a post-nuclear war society whose corrupt bossman (Kenneth Peer) needs uncontaminated women for mating purposes. Shari Shattuck is just the ticket, and most of the pic consists of Lou, clad in a Roman gladiator outfit, trying to help her escape from the bad guys' clutches.

Film unfolds like a bad parody of this overworked genre, with a very poor sound mix and ridiculously cheap-looking vehicles for the "Mad Max" fans to ogle. Poor Ferrigno, dubbed in his "Hercules" epics, uses his own voice here with embarrassing results.

I like really bad movies, if you do too this movie is a great movie to watch with a bunch of obnoxious friends and a twelve pack of beer. When you go to the movie store and look for a really bad movie to watch with those obnoxious friends, you see TV's The Hulk and you think "this has GOT to be good". And Lou Ferrigno does not disappoint, part Conan part Terminator; all Ferrigno.

On top of Lou's real bad acting, and a canned post-apocalyptic plot, this movie offers a bountiful supply of bad special effects that would make Ed Wood proud.

Lou Ferrigno fans will not be disappointed--he is the best part of this dismal production. Lou is far from being in his best physical condition (similar to the way he looked in the movie Cage). He wears a Hercules-type outfit throughout, but does not show off in any muscle-flexing events. Even when he runs (and this happens surprisingly often) there are no close-ups or slow motions. Obviously he was not selected for his pulchritude. Perhaps the director was trying to showcase Lou's acting ability instead. Lou is fairly good at pretending to be sad and not so good at acting angry (also similar to Cage). Yet his acting is better than anything in the rest of this movie. It is even better than that of most of the other players (or were they customers selected at random from a Walmart parking lot?)--one could not enunciate his lines enough to be heard and another's slight accent undermined the authority of his character. The sets are truly cheap without any redeeming innovations. The equipment is pathetic and contributes to the farce. And there is barely any continuity or logic to the story line--a pity because the basic premise is decent sci-fi and the ending both uplifting and conclusive of the opening scene.

This is probably the worst thing that I've ever seen. Yeah, I'll give some credit to Lou Ferrigno, I guess.. But the acting is horrible, the special effects make me want to punch a hole in my wall. I watched it over to my friends house because I had heard it was so cheesy that people in the room passed out from laughing so hard, but it made me more angry then humored. The storyline is senseless, and serves basically no purpose what so ever.

I could probably roll up toilet paper, paint it yellow and pretend to shoot it out of a gun and you'd have better Lazer gun ammo then you see coming out of these semi-plastic guns that they're using in this movie. This is guaranteed a first take movie. I'm almost 100% positive that they never did more than 1 take.. I wonder what the director was thinking.. Ed Wood is said to be the worst director of all time, but after seeing this movie, I think I appreciate him more.. My god.. Brace yourself if you decide you watch this.. Although, you might find it hysterical. I laughed through some of it, haha.